


First Time for Everything

by RinAsami



Series: First Time Series [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Comedy, Escort Service, Explicit Language, First Love, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Mental Illness, Nervousness, Reference to verbal abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Smut, reference to suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-01-05 03:55:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinAsami/pseuds/RinAsami
Summary: Yuri doesn’t want to turn twenty-five with his virginity intact. Not being one for relationships due to crushing anxiety and self-doubt, he decides to hire someone to remove the worrisome burden. Will going to a stranger for such a once in a lifetime experience be a mistake or a chance for something more?





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

 

Yuri stood on the paw-printed welcome mat, shaking—yet there was no chill in the air. After a few moments of arguing with himself if he should just forget it, he balled his hand into a fist, giving the door three quick knocks.

It was a stupid idea—possibly a dangerous one. All the things that could go wrong assaulted the young man’s mind as he waited for an answer. He was about to turn around when the front door creaked open.

“Umm, hi. I’m Yuri.” Adjusting his glasses and raking nervous fingers through his hair, he tried to appear calm as his eyes took in the gorgeous figure in front of him. “I’m your...ahhh…eleven o’clock _appointment_.” Yuri held out his hand for the other to shake. It seemed so silly considering the purpose of the meeting, but he didn’t know what else to do. “I’m sorry I’m late—I was a little scar—I mean, the taxi driver got lost.” _Wow, I hope he doesn_ _’t call me out on that horrible lie._  

Yuri didn’t feel his hand being taken nor did it register that he was being pulled inside the condo. All he could focus on was that man’s pearly smile. A wink nearly had him fainting.

“Welcome and no worries—you did sound a little unsure when you called.”

The tall, handsome man’s Russian accent was attractive over the phone, but hearing it in person—it was mesmerizing like the breathy tenor of an angel’s song. It made Yuri weak in the knees; he was thankful when the beautiful stranger guided him to the sofa to sit.

“Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got wine, vodka, tea, bottled water…” The man watched his guest fidget as he assessed his choices. Even from the kitchen cutout the nervousness was extremely evident.

“Um, yes. Could I have some tea?” Yuri stammered, following the statement with, “Please. And with some vodka in it. I’m just a bit…” He exhaled a shaky breath. “…nervous.”

A pink tint graced the edgy man’s cheeks as he heard a chuckle. “I could hardly notice. No need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”

Yuri looked up into a stunning heart-shaped smile from the other’s chiseled face. Light blue eyes pierced into him, one fading from view with a swath of fallen silver bangs. “Thank you,” he said as he grasped the mug, taking a sip and setting it down on the wooden coffee table. The man took a seat near him but allowed enough space for the other to be comfortable.

A quiet gasp rushed from Yuri’s lips after a few moments of silence. He’d forgotten the most important part. Embarrassed, he dug into his jean pocket, fishing out a small roll of five one-hundred dollar bills. “Here,” he said as he placed the money on the table, scooting it toward the other man. “Five hundred, as discussed.”

The silver-haired man swirled the wine in his glass, taking a sip before leaning over and taking the crisp bills. Turning and reaching over, he moved some things on the sofa table behind himself, coming away with an envelope. Opening it, he passed the other a letter containing a caduceus medical symbol stamped into thick paper.

“That’s my most recent test results to assure you; I’m clean. Any penetration will be protected, of course, but you seem nervous enough…you don’t need infection worries on top of everything else.”

Yuri’s trembling hand took the paper, noting the date and negative statuses of all the tests. Giving the sheet back, he tried to smile. “Thank you; I appreciate that. Um, as I said on the phone, I’ve never _done anything_ before, and I don’t do drugs of any sort, so I’m clean as well—though I didn’t bring my certificate.”

Scooting over, now inches from Yuri’s hip, the man carefully placed a hand on his guest’s knee, never taking his eyes off the dark cocoa irises in front of him as he judged the other’s reaction. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” The man paused, giving the fabric under his fingers a squeeze. “Yuri, are you sure you want to do this? No one is pressuring you, right?”

The beautiful stranger seemed so caring, so honest as he held Yuri’s knee, feeling the nervous tick subside after his thumb rubbed small circles into the jean material. Yuri felt safe, even if it was all a lie.

“No, Dmitry…I-I need to do this. I _want_ to do this. You were recommended as being gentle and kind, and I can see already that you are, but that doesn’t mean I’m not terrified of losing my virginity to a stranger—to a pros…” Yuri trailed off, unsure of how he should address _Dmitry's_ profession.

The creeping grin on the older man’s face was breathtaking. The heart-shaped pouty lips were back, making Yuri’s heart flutter. "Legally, I'm an escort. But, let's be honest—when the only thing I’m doing is _escorting_ you to a bed with your hundred dollar bills in my pocket—I'm a prostitute...or gigolo if you prefer."

Yuri’s cheeks and neck flared with a hint of pink at the bluntness of the other’s words. He apparently wasn’t going to offend the other by failing to address him by his actual profession.

"It's okay. I'm not ashamed. It is what it is." Dmitry finished his wine, licking his lips with an arched brow as he looked Yuri up and down. “Do you want to just go to the bedroom or…?”

Yuri set his mug down a little too hard. “Well, no. I mean, can we talk first? Just a little? I want to get to know you some before you…take me.” He looked down, ashamed at his inability to even correctly say “fuck me” considering that’s exactly what he was there for. Here Yuri was, nearly twenty-five years old, a virgin, and now a stunning man was asking to sweep him off to bed, and he says, ‘no.’ What the hell was wrong with him? Isn’t this what he just forked over five hundred dollars for—to lose his virginity on his terms without fear of being hurt in the process?

Dmitry rubbed his chin in thought. Crossing his legs, he pushed himself further into the couch, getting more comfortable. Turning toward Yuri, he extended a hand, palm up, giving the other the floor. “Alright, go on.”

Yuri too turned toward the other, tucking his feet under him and propping the side of his head up with a hand. “Um, well, if something is too personal, just tell me, okay?” The other nodded in agreement. “So, your Russian accent—were you born and raised in Russia?”

The older man rose, Yuri’s eyes following the movement. _Shit, was that too personal too quickly?_

“This may be a lengthy conversation. More tea or wine?” He grabbed his own glass, then reached for Yuri’s cup.

“Wine, please. Whatever is fine.”

Dmitry uncorked the wine, filling two glasses in the kitchen before answering Yuri’s question as he walked back into the main room. “Well, I was actually born here in the US.”

“Really, in the US? But your accent…”

Putting a finger up with a smirk, he halted the other’s questions so he could finish his answer as he sat back down. “My mother is American, and my father is Russian. After I was born, my father decided that I should be educated in mother Russia so when I was about three, we packed up and moved to St. Petersburg. That is why my accent is so thick. And to answer the next question you’ll ask, Russia isn’t the kindest to homosexuals, so I returned to my birthplace where exploring one’s sexuality isn’t frowned upon.” He paused. “Well, not near as much as in Russia anyway. That’s why I’m here.” He took a long sip of his wine, a sparkling Moscato. “So, what about you? Were you born here as well?” Sweeping his silver bangs out of the way, he paused, realizing he’d been awful presumptuous with his assessment. Yuri was obviously Asian, but his accent wasn’t that apparent.

Yuri’s heart beat a little faster when he heard the other’s breath hitch. The younger man thought the other’s reaction to his goofy smile was adorable, something he wouldn’t have normally attributed to someone working as an escort. He too needed to learn not to assume based on looks or professions.

“No actually, I was born in Japan. I’ve been here for years, but my family is still over in Fukuoka. I came here to go to college and decided to stay after I received my degree. Everything just seemed more interesting here. I thought I’d find life and love in America, but I ended up finding neither. I’m actually contemplating going back to Japan after I turn twenty-five in a few weeks.” He rolled the stemware between both hands nervously. “I just…I’m not that good with people and especially if I go back to Japan—the opportunity to find someone is slim. I didn’t want to return home a pathetic virgin, you know? I wanted to feel that connection—the experience of _loving_ someone else one time—at least one time—in my life.” He adjusted the cushions behind him, taking an undignified gulp of wine as his eyes rose to Dmitry's. “And so, that’s what led me to you. Yeah, sorry, a bit more info than you wanted, huh?”

The older man took both of Yuri’s hands in his own, caressing them with his thumbs for good measure. “Yuri, being a virgin at twenty-five is not pathetic. You’re a romantic, I can tell—you were just waiting for when the time was right.” Yuri shrugged, sheepishly. Dmitry brought the cool hands up to his lips, giving each knuckle a peck. “I’m sure going back to your home country wouldn’t condemn you to a life of celibacy. There is someone out there that would find your self-proclaimed awkwardness endearing—sexy even. I guarantee it.”

Yuri pulled his hands back, curling them around himself. “Now you’re just making fun of me.” Sadness was etched in Yuri’s voice. He was fortunate to be able to hold back a tear that was threatening to escape. “I hired you to fu-fu-fuck me, so why don’t we just get to it, Dmitry —or whatever your _real_ name is.”

“Victor.”

Yuri looked up as he nibbled on his bottom lip, feeling stupid for even coming there in the first place. “Hm?”

“My name. My _real_ name is Victor.”

Victor reached over to swipe the fallen black bangs off of Yuri’s face, then extended his fingers lower to lift up the trembling chin., leaning in so close that he could smell the sweetness of the wine from his guest’s breath. “I would never make fun of such an honest heart. And I’m not going to fuck you.”

“B-but...the mo…” The other started to protest, stopped by a finger on his lips and smoldering blue eyes catching his own.

“Shhh… Relax. An honorable man would never just casually fuck their virgin partner. That’s much too harsh and painful for the first time. If you truly want me to deflower you, I will take you to my bed and make love to you. You will call out my name, my _real_ name, as I give you a first time you can look back upon fondly as if I were a cherished lover.”

Victor took the opportunity of the other’s silence to remove his blue-rimmed glasses, setting them gently on the table nearby. Yuri tried to speak, but a groan escaped instead as his mouth was caressed with the softest, most gentle lips he’d ever had—only had—the pleasure of tasting. The younger man’s hands came up to rest on broad shoulders as the escort took the kiss further, requesting entry with a lick to the seal of reddening lips. Yuri was helpless, surrendering himself to the expert who was ever so slightly leaning the other backward and inching himself on top.

Yuri, feeling bold as his tongue was massaged and sucked, let his hands fall to the hem of the other’s v-neck sweater, sliding his hands up under the cotton until he could feel the chiseled muscles of Victor’s back. They moaned in unison as Yuri dragged his nails across the soft yet firm skin.

Victor let them both come up for air, licking a string of saliva off Yuri’s chin before cupping his face with a warm hand. “Do you want to…”

The trill of a cell phone cut him off.

Giving a peck to Yuri’s forehead, Victor rose to turn off the infernal buzzing. The phone’s alarm read 12:00 AM. An hour had already passed.

Yuri jumped from the sofa with a gasp as Victor pocketed his phone. “No, it can’t be! How can one whole hour have passed already!” He craned his neck from left to right, catching the clock hanging above the stove in the kitchen. “Goddammit.” An embarrassing sniffle echoed in the living room. Yuri’s reddening eyes wandered everywhere before settling on Victor’s form coming toward him.

In a panic, Yuri pulled his shirt up and started to undo his belt. “Please, just…a little more time! I don’t have any more…I—you can do it quick—I don’t care if it hurts.” In his blabbering his fingers wouldn’t work as they were shaking so badly, unable to pull the belt out of its buckle. The younger man was humiliated, a few stray tears trickled down his cheeks—he gave up the fight with his pants, instead, clearing his face so he could leave without looking like a crying child. It was his own fault; he wanted to have drinks and talk first. He hadn’t realized how quickly time was passing in his nervous state.

Yuri gasped and took a step back when he felt hands on his shoulders. Victor pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back to sooth the ragged breathing. “It’s alright.”

The taller man cradled the other’s head on his chest as Yuri’s arms went around Victor’s waist, clasping the two men together. “Yuri, don’t…”

“I know, don’t do this—I can’t stay longer, right?” Yuri released the man, extending a hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, at least. Thanks for the conversation.”

The silver-haired man glanced down at the hand floating in the air expectantly, then back up toward Yuri, offering only a smirk and a shake of the head. Victor walked around Yuri, leaving the hand without its mirror companion, toward a sofa table holding a [beautiful stained-glass treasure box](https://www.etsy.com/listing/288968811/jewel-encrusted-treasure-3x7-jewelry-box?ref=related-3). Taking something out, Victor turned and tossed it to Yuri.

“Now you do.”

Yuri’s eyes went as wide as saucers as he cupped the roll of five hundred dollars in his palms. He was speechless as he looked at the other, mouth agape.

Victor came forward and closed Yuri’s fingers around the cash when the other didn’t move or speak. He hovered his lips over an ear. “I look forward to being inside you next time—if you’ll have me.”

Finally, after Yuri’s brain caught up, he tried to push the money back into the escort's hands. “No, I can’t. I took up your time—I owe you this. Your service—they’ll want the money. I-I have to pay you.”

A wet kiss silenced the stammering and distracted Yuri as Victor plucked the money from the other’s hands and snuck it in his jacket pocket.

“I make my own rules. This was merely a consultation visit.” The older man was grinning the entire time he spoke, making Yuri’s heart flutter once again.

“Wha— Escorts don’t have _free consultations!_ ” Yuri countered.

Victor snorted with a laugh. “Yes, because you’ve been to _so_ _many_ , you’d know.”

“I’m not dumb. Escorts, prostitutes, and whatnot get paid for their time spent—period.” Yuri tried not to sound upset. In reality, he was really thankful he was getting his money back, but being moral, even though it was an immoral situation, he still felt bad for not paying for _services rendered_.

Victor put his arm around the other’s shoulders, steering him toward the door. “Well, I guess you’re the exception then.” He opened the front door, kissing Yuri on the cheek, then on the mouth. “Your cab is probably waiting already. You better go—meter’s running.”

“But…” Yuri’s conscience still had him arguing.

A pat on the ass made the younger man jump, causing him to step outside the door. Another kiss and Victor starting closing the gap between them. “Call me. We’ll make it a date.” Before Yuri could once again contest, the escort continued. “And don’t worry about my rate. I make the rules—remember?” A flirty wink had Yuri grinning despite how he felt. “Buh-bye. Until next time.”

Yuri stared at the closed door, dumbfounded a bit before making his way down the stairs toward a waiting yellow taxi. He’d gone to an escort’s home, giving him five hundred hard-earned dollars to get laid, ended up talking the entire time—and yet—he was walking away with said money, virginity intact, and a promise of a date. He didn’t know if he should be smiling with happiness or crying with how pitiful he probably seemed. Getting in the cab, he watched the condo complex grow tiny as they pulled away, thankful that either way, he was lucky he’d chosen such an understanding and generous _professional_.

“Until next time,” he sighed.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was so much fun to write!
> 
> I love how sweet and innocent our little Yuri is--and Victor being the suave, more experienced partner. Ah...beautiful!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to reading what you all think. I can't wait to see where this goes!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

 

Yuri felt the vibration of his phone before hearing the ringtone. A roll of his eyes and a long drawn out sigh followed the right swipe of the screen. _He just won_ _’t drop it…_

_Phichit/ << So, are you going to tell me if you went through with it or not? What the hell happened?_

_Yuri/ >> I_ _’m at work. I can’t talk now._

_P/ << What do you call this then?_

_P/ << Just tell me! I need to know if I should throw a party or not for your surrendered V-Card._

_Y/ >> Mention party again and I_ _’m kicking you out…and it’s none of your business._

 _P/ << First, ha ha, it_ _’s my apartment and two, it is my business when my best friend comes home past midnight tipsy and upset all the while leaving $500 bucks on the floor._

_P/ << You know I worry about you._

* * *

 

Yuri pressed the back of his head against the bathroom wall. Now he felt like an ass. _Great_.

Phichit was his best friend—his only friend—from his freshman year at University. The enthusiastic Thai photography major hit it off with Yuri the moment they met on the day of room assignments. Wild charisma balanced with introverted calm. The always on, always happy Phichit seemed to be exactly what Yuri needed to guide him through the perils of not just living abroad but the undertaking of dormitory living. The younger student by two years took Yuri under his wing despite the shy boy’s reluctance to socialize. Eventually, Yuri grew to trust his dorm-mate, and as he opened up, he found a kindred spirit—as socially opposite as it was. The pair were inseparable since. They understood each other and respected the others’ idiosyncrasies all the while pushing the other to the brink of his boundaries when needed.

 

_Y/ >> I know and I’m sorry. Just not ready to discuss it, plus my lunch time is over._

_Y/ >> Oh, and thanks for putting the cash in my room. I didn’t realize it was in my jacket pocket when I slung it off and threw it on the couch._

_P/ << No problem…though not sure how you wouldn’t know a wad of dough was in your pocket. (•ิ_•ิ)?_

_P/ << Anyway, see ya. More pictures to take and all._

 

* * *

 

 

Victor grabbed his keys and wallet, shoving them in his pockets before he walked out the door with the cell in his hand. He took a breath before clicking on the screen.

No new messages and no new voicemails.

 _Damn._ He was trying not to get his hopes up, but in spectacular Victor fashion, he was failing. He was counting on hearing _something_ from the shy man that he had an appointment with over a week ago, but as the days ticked by the escort started to think Yuri had changed his mind. Victor stopped eagerly grabbing his phone every time it rang after the third day when each call was a client, but not the one he wanted.

As Victor got in the car and pulled out of the complex, he decided he’d do what he told himself he would never do again. After all, binging was rarely healthy, and he had a physique to maintain.

“Fuck it,” he muttered as he drove down the old part of town, somewhere he’d been only once or twice as most of the decent restaurants closed years ago. “There’s only one way to get a guy out of my head—drown my sorrows until my head hurts.” Tapping the steering wheel, he glanced at the establishments that were left in the older neighborhood; he’d wanted to find a hole-in-the-wall where he could sulk in peace.”

He nearly slammed on his brakes as the colorful window ad caught his eye. It was exactly what he was needing. Perfect! Turning onto a side-street and parking, Victor walked up to the glass double doors, grinning like he’d won the lottery.

The sign on the door read: “Saturday special! All large cappuccinos and lattes $2.99!” Drowning in sugary goodness, always the cure-all.

Nothing beat a latte from a coffeehouse—not even a three hundred dollar machine he just had to have from a late night infomercial.

Victor was practically drooling at all the choices the small shop offered. He was lost in thought as he stared at the long list of blended cold and piping hot drinks as a barista called out from behind a gigantic industrial espresso maker.

“I’ll be with you in a moment. Do you know what you’d like?”

“Um…I think I want the special—large vanilla latte with extra cream on top, please.” Victor looked down from the menu, only then noticing the person that walked to the register.

“Yuri!?”

Yuri pushed up his glasses, his nervous tick when he was on display. Ignoring looks from his coworkers, he tried to sound normal and laugh off the loud exclamation of his name. “Uh, yeah, it’s me…” He tapped his name tag as if Victor hadn’t just shouted his name, tilting his head down to hide his embarrassment. “Yuri,” he exhaled.

“That’ll be $3.23 with tax…Sir.” The younger man looked like he was about to pass out. He felt warm, like everyone’s eyes were on him, judging him for knowing such a handsome man. _Does everyone know that I bought this gorgeous specimen as an escort? Is it that obvious—I_ _’d never be able to associate with someone so desirable._

Without taking the offered money, he called out the order, also adding, “Um, yeah, I’m taking a break, guys.” Yuri swiped his employee card, then closed the open register without thinking. Walking around the counter, he pointed to the furthest standing table in the back—seemingly in a daze.

Victor followed Yuri to the table, watching his demeanor. The man looked nervous, embarrassed—scared even. Yuri ran his hands over the marble surface repeatedly, waiting for Victor to speak. _Why isn_ _’t he saying anything? Did he find me to ask for his money back after coming to his senses?_

The escort ran his long fingers through his fallen silver bangs, his own nervous tick. “So, Yuri…you…work… _here_?” Victor didn’t mean for it to come out as sounding demeaning; he felt bad the moment the sentence left his lips. “Not that it’s bad or anything!” He recovered, hesitantly putting a hand over Yuri’s fidgeting fingers. “It’s good to see you.”

When unsure brown eyes met expectant blue, Yuri’s entire behavior changed. Victor could practically see the pent-up knots in his stance fade away with a touch and a glance. The younger man even managed a slight smirk, his shoulders relaxing.

"Yep, this is where I work. I didn't find the life I was looking for here, remember? So, I took a job that would pay at least my part of the rent. A business major ended up _not_ being the best choice so far."

Victor unconsciously stroked Yuri’s wrist, leaning in a fraction. "I see. If you can believe it, I'm not using my degree either."

Victor's cocky smirk had the other bursting in laughter. Yuri covered his face so he couldn’t disturb the other guests.

Without missing a beat, he commented under his hands, "And here I thought your job required some type of specialty."

"Did you just make a sex joke?” Victor’s face lit up at the comfortable banter; his mouth forming a perfect “O” at the unexpected comedian in front of him.

"Maybe."

Victor was becoming mesmerized by the man—a man that was so shy and introverted on the surface but had a spark of fire flickering underneath. A smoldering fire that Victor was dying to play with. He had to remind himself that Yuri was just a client, though he felt differently with him than any other appointment he’d had.

Victor leaned forward with a devilish grin on his face; Yuri moved toward the other automatically.

"Oh, it does require _some_ special abilities..." Victor in a low whisper so just that Yuri could hear.

The younger man, turning red, began to return the flirtatious banter but was silenced as a coworker delivered Victor’s latte order, setting it between the two men.

Victor continued to stare at the blush creeping up on his table mate’s cheeks, waiting for the response that was cut off. Disappointingly, the shy Japanese man seemed to compose himself, adjusting his glasses, but paused as he took in the sudden frown on the other’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Yuri asked, noticing how Victor was turning the coffee cup aimlessly.

A pout formed on the older man’s full lips and he peeked up from his fallen bangs. “I asked for extra cream on top.”

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Yuri stammered out as he put his hand on the cup, turning toward the direction of the staff counter. “I’ll go fix it.”

A hand on his halted the barista’s movements, seeing Victor crooking a finger at him to come closer. Yuri cocked an eyebrow questioningly but did as instructed. “Hm?”

As Yuri’s face came within inches of the other man’s, Victor explained his reasoning. “Um, Yuri—I said _cream_.” He murmured softly, flashing the other a wink. “The bathroom’s that way.” He pointed behind him to the sign indicating, “Restrooms.”

Yuri was utterly floored. The poor boy didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or make a disgusted expression. "Did you just insinuate...? Oh. My. God…you did! Victor!”

The escorts fingers walked up the other’s hand, still hovering near the cup. "I wonder if it has hints of hazelnut and mocha."

“Damn, do you flirt like this with _All_ your…your… _customers_!?” Yuri asked between clenched teeth in a hushed tone. He wasn’t upset, but borderline mortified having never had anyone speak so provocatively sexual toward him before—and he was at work no less!

Victor straightened up, flashing another debonair smile toward his precious little virgin. “At times, but I only mean it with you. Something about you—I can't help it. You're so enticing.” He reached over for the sugary drink, taking a sip. “Flirting—just one of my _special abilities._ _”_

Without thinking, his mind having gotten stuck in the escort’s flirtatious web, Yuri blurted out, “Fuck, if that’s just one of them I’d love to see the others—tomorrow, 9 PM?”

Victor couldn't stop the chuckling as he saw Yuri's hand come up and slap a hand over his mouth, ears, cheeks, and neck turning pink instantly.

A muffled, "Oh my god. I don't know where that came from," escaped through the stretched fingers as Yuri’s eyes grew wide, stunned at his own admission.

The older man leaned in, putting his elbows on the table; he couldn’t stop smiling. "As adorable as you're being right now, I, unfortunately, have another engagement tomorrow night."

Yuri pulled his hand away from his mouth, running it through his hair instead. "Oh...OH! I get it. Sorry I…"

"Hold it.” He put up a finger. “Let me check my schedule."

Yuri stared at Victor's handsome face as the man looked up, eyes dancing to-and-fro, bobbing his head from side to side in thought as he contemplated his agenda in his head.

"But…I can do tonight! If you'd want to, that is. What time are you off?"

Yuri rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging. "Well, um, six. I get off at six."

"Pick you up at six then?"

"Here? I don't know—I'll smell of coffee without showering first."

Victor ran his fingers on top of the other’s hand that was left on the table—tempting the shy barista with a sensual touch. The escort couldn’t get enough of touching the soft flesh. "Espresso...my favorite cologne." He continued despite Yuri's skeptical expression, putting his fist to his chin. "Hmm...I wonder if your sweat tastes like it too." He paused, catching Yuri’s eyes with his own. "May I test that theory tonight? Would you like me to?"

A shaky nod and abnormally loud gulp was the answer—received loud and clear.

"Sounds like a date. Your casual wear is fine for the restaurant I'm taking you, so don't worry about..."

"What? Restaurant?" He asked in a panicked tone. “I thought we were just going to…you know…”

"You have to eat, don't you?" Victor grabbed his drink, taking out a few dollars for the tip jar.

"Anyway, I don't want to get you in trouble. You need to get back to work, and so do I." Victor said with a wink. “I will see _you_ out front at six sharp. Look for the silver Audi.”

Yuri stared at the man, jaw hanging open for a second. “Audi? You have…an Audi?”

Victor smirked before scrunching his lips and making a kissy sound. “I get paid _very_ well—as you know.” Another wink and the flirt was walking out the door, Yuri waving to the man’s back with a dumbfounded expression, unsure of what just transpired.

 

* * *

 

 

“Wow, I’ve never had steak this tender before! Where has this place been all these years?” Yuri took a sip of water before knocking back a cinnamon whiskey shot. “Shit and these shooters are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Hot as hell, my favorite—like wasabi!”

Victor grinned, pleased at how happy and content his date looked. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it. This is one of my favorite steakhouses.”

"Do you do this with all your clients? Taking them around town?" Yuri asked, putting his fork down and dabbing his mouth.

"Well, I am an escort...so yes, I go out with clients. But usually, it's them taking me around, showing me off—that kind of thing."

"So, why..."

Yuri’s breath hitched as both palms are taken, squeezed by soft, warm hands. "Yuri, I do illusions for a living. You want your virginity taken. If that's all you really wanted, you could have gone to any decent looking whore on the street and gotten it done much cheaper than what you're paying me or even better, meet someone at a bar and it’s free. I want to give you an experience. I think there’s a reason you chose me instead of a number of other _resources_. You wanted to give yourself to someone but not just a _bend over, take what you can get and, hope it doesn_ _’t hurt_ fashion _._ "

Yuri bit his lip and wouldn't meet the man's eyes—Victor saw right through him.

"You'll remember the day you lose it and my face for the rest of your life. I'm not an uncaring asshole. I want you to think of me and our time together as something you look back on with a satisfied smile not a frown of shame or regret."

“Th-thank you—for that. It’s embarrassing to be so backward and terrified that I want to pay someone in hopes that they won’t hurt me. It’s just—my roommate— his horror story of his first time with too much eagerness, pain, even some blood—I don’t want that. I could never trust my body to just anyone,” He shrugged, picking up his fork again. “well, you know what I mean— from a bar or party or something like that, not that I even go to those.”

Yuri downed another shot that the waiter dropped off, hoping the liquor would calm his nerves.

“Oh, Yuri. I know I’m still more or less a stranger to you, but trust me—when I’m inside you, pain is the last thing you’ll be feeling.”

Scooting out his chair, Yuri placed his napkin on the table. “Um, not really dinner conversation…” He seemed to be swaying slightly; Victor picked up on the signs—face flushed, eyes a bit glassy, and perspiration beading on his forehead.”

Victor rose, extending a hand after placing a hundred dollar bill on the table. “Let’s get going; you look a little…”

His quick thinking had Yuri bending over the chair before the projectile could soil his khakis.

Poor Yuri was green, unable to handle the tasty whiskey. “I don’t feel...” Another round ended up on the floor.

After apologizing profusely to the waiters, Victor ushered his date out the door and into the car. Yuri was a mess of embarrassed apologies and drunken tears.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I ruined it! Again! Ruined!” he mumbled as Victor got him buckled into the seat.

Victor sighed heavily as he got into the driver’s seat shaking his head. "I'm much too nice, I swear. I should be pissed right now—not even haven gotten paid yet!" Pressing the engine start; he heard a soft snore—then another and another. Turning, he witnessed Yuri curling up on himself rubbing his face into the soft leather. The shy man was out for the count it seemed. Shaking him on the shoulder, Victor tried to rouse the young man yet had no success—receiving a few smacks in his direction.

Leaning over, hesitating a hand over Yuri’s left hip, Victor checked his pockets all the while murmuring that the other should be thankful he's not some axe murderer or overall sicko. Pulling out a set of keys, a roll of hundreds, and his wallet, the man curses. "Yuri, dammit! You shouldn't be casually walking around with this much on you! The escort quietly chastised the unconscious man. “You're a thief’s dream—much too naive.”

Pulling out the other’s driver's license, Victor typed the information into his phone’s GPS before returning the card to its rightful place. “Hmm…Katsuki. I like it.” The older man smiled at the sleeping beauty in the passenger seat. “Much better than mine. Thank God you have a US license or I'd be drowning you in coffee right now to interrogate you for your address, Mr. _I-can-drink-hard-liquor-to-impress-my-date,_ Yuri Katsuki.”

 

* * *

 

 

Luckily, Yuri’s apartment was on ground level allowing Victor to carry his _still a virgin_ client to his door. In an awkward maneuver, Victor managed to lean Yuri against the wall while trying a few keys until the door opened. Walking through the small living room, he found two bedrooms across from each other. Victor poked his head in the left first, seeing photos, cameras, and clothes scattered along the floor. _I_ _’m betting this one is definitely not Yuri’s room._

The other room was much more _anxiety-ridden introvert_ style.

Victor set Yuri on his bed, grabbing a nearby cover and tucking him in, removing his glasses to put on the side table. Taking out a business card, he wrote a quick note and set it on the nightstand where the other would see it as he woke. Before returning to the living room to leave, Victor leaned over the adorable sleeping form, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Maybe third time’s a charm, hmm? Once again, until next time.”

The escort was smoothing back his hair as he collected himself walking to the front door, halting as it suddenly opened.

“Who the hell are you!? And what the fuck are you doing in my apartment!? I’ll call the police!”

Victor’s hands flew up in defense. “Wait, wait! I’m Dmitry— I mean, I’m Victor. I’m Yuri’s—Yuri’s…friend.” The accused man pointed toward the bedrooms. “He’s sleeping—passed out in my car after dinner. Apparently, he can’t hold his alcohol.”

Phichit dropped his backpack on the floor. “Victor? As in the prostitute, Victor?”

The escort lowered his hands, slowly. “Um, yeah…” The air in the room got unsettling. “So you know? Yes, then, I’m _that_ Victor. I’m sorry to scare you. I got the address from his wallet—all I did was put him to bed and write a note. I swear.

The Thai man gave Victor another once-over, a glare at first before his hazel eyes turned soft.

“Well, Yuri never could drink.” He sighed, walking toward the cautious escort, grabbing his hand to give it a manly shake. “I’m Phichit, his roommate. Thanks for helping him and making sure he’s safe. I, and I know he, appreciate it.”

“Yeah. Um, no problem.” Victor ran a hand through his silver locks to calm himself. “So, I’m gonna go. Nice meeting you.” In a few strides, the tall man was already at the door, opening it to leave. “He can call me if he wants.”

Phichit stared at the closed door for a moment. “Damn, Yuri—What have you gotten yourself into?” Shaking his head,  he ventured down the hall, taking a peek into the other’s room to ensure he was there. Yuri would be having some explaining to do the next morning.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri awoke with a splitting headache. Bleary-eyed and nauseous, he reached for his glasses, knocking them clear off the table. “Shit.” He felt a business card as he slid his hand around the floor, nearly falling off the bed in a blind reach for his eyeglasses. Taking the paper, he held it up to his nose, close enough to read with his poor vision.

He read the message twice. A few simple words noting the gist of the previous evening.

“Fuck.” It was going to be a long, long day with much apologizing.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was hot off the proverbial laptop press! Yay!
> 
> I'm really happy with how the personalities and story are moving along; I admit I was laughing my ass off when I was typing some of the dialogue. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear from all you awesome readers out there but it's never necessary! Hope you enjoyed this much longer chapter. <3


	3. Chapter 3

 

* * *

 

Yuri sighed as he paced the length of his room—phone in one hand and business card in the other. He frowned as he glared at his laptop as if the computer was at fault for the website displayed on the screen. Walking over to his desk, he slammed the lid shut, hiding the beautiful face that took up most of the browser window. He had to call him—it was only right after all. Even if the man was an escort, he deserved an apology for nearly being puked on and having to go out of his way to take a client home due to the said client’s irresponsibility. _What will I say?_

The younger man plopped in his office chair as he flicked the card across the room. _Gee, I_ _’m sorry I inconvenienced you, made you pay for dinner and failed to compensate you for your time._ Yuri snorted at his high-pitched voice as he muttered to himself. _Oh, and by the way, can you still fuck me so I can feel better about myself? That is_ _…if you can get the image of me barfing out of your head first._

It had been exactly five days since Victor took Yuri out on a date. The escort even texted him a few times to make sure he was alright and didn’t hold any ill will for going through his pockets and taking him to his apartment. Yuri didn’t respond. The shy Japanese man was being flaky and just plain rude, and he knew it. His parents taught him better than to be a jackass just to save himself from embarrassment or in this case, more embarrassment and shame.

Yuri brought the screen to life, scrolled to Victor’s number, and let out a breath he’d been unknowingly holding. Pinching the bridge of his nose, then adjusting his glasses, he waited for the call to connect. Hearing the smooth Russian accent coming through the handset made him shiver; he slightly hoped the man wouldn’t pickup—ignoring him like he rightfully deserved 

 

> “Hey, Victor. Um…” He didn’t even wait to ask if it was a good time to talk—words escaped like prisoners in a jailbreak. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your messages. I wasn’t mad or anything—grateful actually that you took so much care to get me home safely. I still owe you too, so if you don’t mind, could I…”

 

Yuri paused, just realizing that there were voices in the background. After face-planting on the desk, he propped the phone up to his ear. _Shit..is he in the middle of_ _…is it with…?_ He sucked in a breath and blew it out gently to calm himself. _No, he wouldn_ _’t have answered the phone if he was…with someone…right?_ He began again, more polite this time. 

 

 

> “I’m sorry, do you have a second?” Yuri wondered if he should just hang up without giving Victor a chance to respond. 
> 
> “Well, I’m a little busy at the moment.” Victor’s voice sounded distant as something rustled in the speaker. “Can I call you back? … _One pound..._ _”_
> 
> Yuri’s head jerked up. “What? One pound? A pound of what?” His mind automatically went to something filthy.
> 
> “Chicken.” Victor paused on the line as he mumbled, thank you. “I’m at the grocery store, deli section.”
> 
>  “Oh!” The Japanese giggled, he couldn’t help it. “I thought…I thought…you were, um, somewhere…else…doing someone, err, something…else…” Yuri nearly couldn’t take it, he was fumbling his words and now accusing the man of possibly just doing his job like it was some kind of abomination.
> 
> “Whore’s gotta eat…” Victor walked down an empty aisle, putting his mouth millimeters from the phone as he spoke in a hushed tone. “…something other than ass that is.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at his own witty comment. “Why, what did you _think_ I was doing?”
> 
>  “Nothing...nothing at all.” Yuri was grinning from ear to ear and laughed breathlessly into the phone, stopping a few seconds later when realizing he may just have hurt the other’s eardrums. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect _that_ to come out of your mouth just now. Damn.”
> 
>  “There it is.” 
> 
> “What?”
> 
>  “That laugh. It’s cute—I’d love to hear it more often.”

The shy man was glad the other couldn’t see his face. He could feel himself blushing at the smooth compliment that was so elegantly thrown into the conversation.

 

> “Um, thanks. Okay, I’m going to hang up now.”

Victor shook his head as he strolled past the vegetables. Yuri Katsuki—always so quick to downplay himself; a trait that was exceedingly frustrating at times.

 

> “Sure, I have more shopping anyway. Text me though—much easier to type than hold a cell on my shoulder with my mouth to it.”

Yuri agreed, ending the call with a quick, “Bye.” Pushing the phone away from him, Yuri didn’t have but a few minutes before his text notification went off.

 

* * *

 

 _Victor/ <<  All this food in the cart and I have no one to share it with. (_ _⌣_⌣”)_

 _Yuri/ >>  Don_ _’t buy so much then._

 _V/ <<  But I like to cook! It_ _’s boring without anyone to cook for though._

A few minutes passed before Yuri received another message.

_V/ <<  Do you eat white rice?_

Yuri had to chuckle. _Did he forget what nationality I am?_

                        _Y/ >>  Um_ _…Is that a joke?_

 _V/ <<  (_ _⊙__ _◎_ _) I’m an idiot. lol I’m used to asking people’s preferences. Sorry, sorry!_

 _Y/ >> Being Japanese, I think I_ _’d be disowned if I didn’t. Just don’t get that long grained crap. Look for Nishiki Sushi Rice. It’s not bad—for being U.S. grown anyway._

_V/ << Rice Snob. lol_

_Y/ <<  You bet your ass—it_ _’s in my blood. lol_

 _V/ << Oh_ _…someone’s saucy over text. Where’s my cute little shy Yuri??? What have you done with him—impostor!_

_Y/ << The benefit of typing versus speaking in person._

_V/ <<  But I want to see that red face of yours. Come over, say in an hour or so?_

_Y/ <<  I don_ _’t know…You may not make it out of the store in time if you keep texting me._

 

Yuri laughed at the comfortable banter. This was all new to him, talking to someone, even over text, so easily. However, the laptop was a sobering reminder of who he was talking to—a professional that was paid to make people feel special. If the shy man was honest with himself, it hurt that most likely it was all an act, despite what the escort said at the previous dinner.

Shrugging the uneasy thoughts off, he saw Victor’s reply—the man was already in the car and about to head home. One last text encouraged—more like gently demanded— that he arrive ready to eat in two hours. Rolling his eyes, Yuri pocketed the phone as he got up to pick an outfit from the closet. “May as well get it over with,” he reasoned. “I needed to give him the money anyway and have him do what I hired him to do—then let him go so he can stop pretending he likes me.”

 

* * *

 

Victor yelled from the kitchen. “Come in—it’s open!”

Yuri entered, walking over to the couch to drape his jacket across the back. “How’d you know it was me? You shouldn’t leave the door unlocked like that.” He moved over to the sofa table, running a finger across the glass box. Flipping the lid, he slipped five hundred inside just in case the older man refused to bring up the subject. The barista’s conscience just couldn't take it anymore. Victor had already declined an online payment Yuri tried to give him the day after puking his guts in front of the man. This time he would get his money. Glancing up, he startled when he saw Victor leaning on the edge of the kitchen counter, watching him, for how long he didn’t know.

“I knew it was you because no one else has my address. Just like leaving my door unlocked any other time except for when you’re coming over is dangerous—giving my address to my clients is also dangerous. I guess I’m just lucky you weren’t a psycho that would break in to kill me in my sleep.”

“I could say the same for you.” Yuri bit his lip as he met the other man near the stove as he dropped mushrooms into a pan. Victor nearly jumped as he felt shaky hands come around his waist from behind—the warmth down his back was comforting as Yuri rested his head between his shoulder blades. A voice reverberated, slightly muffled from being covered by the fabric. “Thank you—for everything. I don’t know why you’re so sweet to me after everything I’ve done.” He paused, taking a breath. “What I haven’t done. Sorry for wasting your time and dragging this… _job_ out.”

Victor backed up, making sure he was far away from the sizzling chicken and mushrooms, then turned to embrace the defeated-looking man. “It’s nothing; don’t worry about it.” Yuri sighed contently as he felt his back being stroked. “I enjoy spending time with you, so…you get away with a lot. You’re cute, funny, and you don’t try to flatter me or try to appear as someone you’re not. I like that.” He smiled down at the other as the younger man pulled away, leaning his hands on the adjacent counter-top.

“Oh, stop. Now who’s trying to flatter?” Yuri tried to hide his uncomfortable blush as he reached for a random bottle of wine, pulling the loosened cork out on the first try.

Victor caught the action out of the corner of his eye despite Yuri facing away from him. Coming around the shorter man and reaching over, he plucked the container out of the man’s hands. “Nope, no alcohol for you tonight,” he said as he kissed the top of Yuri’s head. “Now, go sit down, the Chicken Marsala is ready.”

“Fine.” Yuri frowned, flashes of the mortifying night came back to him. Sitting down, he started to play with the condensation on a water glass. “Don’t want me to fuck it up like the last two times, huh? God, I was so stupid. You should have just left me there in the restaurant, laughing as you went.”

Victor walked the steaming plates of Marsala with rice to the table. "Stop hating on yourself. So you spent the first night with an escort talking instead of fucking and then you nearly puked on him the second appointment—no real harm done." The forgiving man paused on his way back to the kitchen for tea, leaning down to kiss the pouty lips that were jutting out at him, giving the other a smirk and a wink as he left. "I blame it on nerves and not wanting to seem like a virgin—even though you are."

Yuri rested his elbows on the table, berating himself internally as listened to Victor continue from the kitchen."But, don't worry, I'm putting you and your nerves to bed tonight. Don't think, just feel, alright? Let me feed you, seduce you, and then make love to you."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "I'm going to look stupid, I warn you. Be prepared to jack off later—I won't be any good."

Yuri gasped as something hit him directly in the back of the head. Looking down, he sees a blue oven mitt on the floor. Rubbing his head like he was hit with a frying pan, the younger man yelled, more stunned than anything, “Hey! You can't—you can't—do that!"

Victor came around the corner with his brows craned upward. He set the tea glasses on the table, never taking his eyes off the other, he folded his arms. "Why not, because you're technically still my client? Because you paid me to sleep with you?"

Yuri looked away, picking up a napkin, he started folding it aimlessly to stop himself from thinking about what the other had said. When Yuri didn’t answer, Victor continued, in a softer voice this time as he moved closer to the sitting man.

"Yeah, I saw you slither over to the box and put that money inside. And just so you know, whatever I decide to do with or to my clients is at my discretion. If my customer doesn't like it, they can leave. I do what I'm comfortable with, and right now I'm not comfortable with a stunning Japanese man treating himself like shit. Now, what'd I say about putting yourself down?"

"I should go then…"

The escort didn’t give Yuri a chance to move, taking another step, he wrapped his arms around his painfully awkward date, hugging him and burying the dark head of hair in his shirt. He took Yuri's face, cupping it, making the other look him in the eyes. "You're not going anywhere except my bedroom. I'll drag you in there if I have to.” A smirk crept up on the handsome face. “I’ll strip you, tie you up, and..."

The escort paused, just realizing that Yuri had a wide-eyed look of fear on his face. He didn't get that Victor was trying to smooth over the tension by joking.

Victor gasped. "Oh, no, no, no...I mean, shit, Yuri…I'm not serious! I'd never force you! I'd never force anybody. Fuck, you are...you are really something...so innocent. I won't tie you up either." He paused with a sort. "We aren't ready for that yet."

The shy man shook his head and not so subtly wiped his eyes on the other’s shirt. Putting his arms around Victor’s waist, he released the breath he'd been holding. "I'm a mor..." He stopped himself. "Let's start over. Can we just eat now?"

"Of course. Let me dim the lights and get some candles in here—need to get the mood back." He leaned down, capturing Yuri’s lips, dipping a tongue inside to give him a taste. Pulling away he smiled genuinely. “There’s a hint of wine for you,” he winked. “Forget everything else. It’s just you and I, and we are going fully enjoy this meal and each other tonight. No worries and no anxiety.” Victor slid his nose down to Yuri’s neck, giving it a suck. He murmured against the sweet-smelling skin. “Now, eat before it gets cold. I want my dessert—a sweet, succulent cherry…and you want me to have it, don’t you?”

Yuri gulped, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through the silver hair next to his cheek. “Yes, it’s yours.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! Sorry to leave you guys hanging like that! I know, you're probably yelling at your screen right now saying, "Just take him to bed already!"
> 
> You won't have to wait long, I promise!
> 
> My original writing of this third meeting was a little over six thousand words so I had to trim it down into different chapters big time. Tomorrow is Monday for me and despite my hatred for that particular day in the week, I will try to get the next chapter edited and up that night or at the latest, Tuesday. Chapter four will also be nearly double in length.
> 
> Till then! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is an updated chapter, which was re-posted on Oct. 3, 2017.

 

* * *

 

Yuri curled up to Victor’s side, flexing his feet as he stretched out over the length of the sofa. The meal had been glorious— chicken marsala with a little extra sauce drizzled over the rice. The flickering of candles danced off their eyes as they hummed in contentment, Victor leaning his head on the other’s crown.

"That was fantastic; damn you can cook!” Yuri stretched his limbs as Victor turned to allow the smaller man to slide between his legs, resting a mop of dark hair on his chest. “Thank you for making all that. Though, I do find it funny that you asked me if I ate rice but didn’t mention mushrooms. You’re lucky I’m not picky.” He tipped his head up, smiling at the other, giving a quick peck to the chin above.

“If you were picky, you wouldn’t have chosen me, but that’s another topic entirely.” Victor nuzzled his nose into the sweetly scented hair. “I’m glad you enjoyed it though; it was nice to cook for someone.” He earned a breathy moan as he slid his long fingers down Yuri’s neck, working the tense muscles below. Victor’s skilled fingers massaged out the tension and knots one by one. It felt good, but not good enough. Getting frustrated, Yuri  hiked himself up, whipping off his t-shirt and tossing it on the floor.

“Mmm, that’s better,” Yuri murmured as one hand ventured lower down his back. The sensual touches made him shiver, causing a stir in his crotch. Arching forward, he wiggled his hips, inviting those fingers to explore further.

Kneading hands were replaced with butterfly kisses as Victor felt his date become malleable under this touch. Yuri raked his hands down Victor’s pants, squeezing each time he felt a nip on his neck. “Oh, fuck,” Yuri blurted out as a dampened finger caressed then pinched a hardened nipple.

“Turn around,” Victor whispered through the black hair splayed on his chest. As the other changed positions, Victor removed his own restrictive shirt. Yuri caught himself staring as he hovered over the other’s legs. Sensing the hesitation, he responded to the unasked question. “Go ahead, you can touch me if you want.”

Yuri had the man gasping in shock as he did much more than touch. Going on pure lust, he attacked the muscled chest, running hands and a tongue over the flesh from navel to collarbone.

“Oh, shit, fuck!” Victor ran his fingernails over the other’s back as his nipples were experimentally licked. Pulling away, Yuri smirked, licking his lips— enjoying what he’d tasted. Pushing his own boundaries further, he encapsulated the entire nipple on the next taste, giving the bud a swirl with a tongue and a hard suck.

Victor was huffing and squirming under the little minx, stretching his hands out to cup the ass sticking up— an ass that looked way too constricted in bluejeans. He’d had enough when the other nipple was given a flick followed by an endearing giggle.

“Yuri,” Victor’s breath hitched as he felt Yuri grind his crotch into him. “Stop.” He put a hand on the other’s shoulder, halting him. Yuri looked up, unsure if he was doing something wrong. “Sorry, I…”

“No, I love the boldness, and it feels divine. I need you to get up though—we’re moving.”

Eagerly hopping up, Yuri squeaked in surprise as he was unexpectedly heaved up into Victor’s arms, given no choice but to wrap himself around the other for balance. The attack on the man’s chest continued as as he carried his lover to the bedroom— Yuri not giving up his assault on the pink mounds.

The moment Yuri’s back touched the sheets, Victor on was crawling on top, giving the clothed erection an open mouthed kiss before traveling up the toned chest. Nips and sucks crept up the heated flesh before returning back down, closer to Victor’s desired dessert.

Yuri was wriggling and softly moaning as he was touched as he’d never been touched before. Eyes closed, head back, he fisted the covers below.

Teasing the waistband of his jeans, Victor glanced up to see the dark-haired angel putting a fist in his mouth. “Let it out; it’s okay.” Hazy brown eyes met sparkling blue as Yuri nodded, removing the hand. “I’m taking your pants off—Is that alright? Tell me to stop if I do something you don’t like.”

The shy man nodded once more. “Yes, do what you want. My body is yours tonight—I’ve never—I don’t know what I’m doing so…”

Victor’s heart-shaped smile was back as he looked at the other lovingly. “That’s a dangerous proposition, Yuri. Never give someone free reign over your body—that’s giving someone power over your very life. You’re far too sweet; I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Yuri ran his hand down into the soft locks of silver. “I trust you—not just because of the money—something about you…I feel safe.”

Victor moved up to give the other a bruising kiss, taking the other’s tongue in his mouth and sucking harshly with a moan. A reply came as Yuri felt his button and zipper being released with one hand with another threading through his hair. “People can be deceiving—just be careful who you trust.”

Wiggling his hips, the man below was relieved of his pants and underwear—skin becoming prickly instantly. “Are you going to harm me, Victor?” Yuri asked, trying to calm his breathing as he watched the other rise, removing his own pants to reveal a massive erection. He gulped, a streak a fear running through him. “Is that why you’re warning me?”

“No.”  Warm lips ran up a leg, kissing as he went, only stopping when he was inches away from Yuri’s hardening member. “No, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you; I just don’t want anyone else to.” The sad look that crossed Victor’s face disappeared in an instant. He had to stop thinking of the future and do what he needed to do now. Shaking his head, he put any worries to the back of his mind, diving for the lovely pink sac between Yuri’s legs.

The boy screeched as his balls were licked and fondled for the very first time. “Oh, my God!!! Victor!” The seductive torture didn’t stop there. Kissing around Yuri’s cock, he teased him before sucking the tip into his mouth. Giving the hard mass a few sucks, licking down the shaft, he deep-throated a few times for fun, earning a yank to his silver-locks.

“Hold your legs up,” Victor instructed when Yuri was able to regain control and stop babbling. The poor boy was beside himself. He was on cloud nine, feeling so good, not realizing the best was yet to happen. Hesitantly, Yuri did as asked, feeling very exposed. Victor didn’t want him to feel self-conscious anymore than he already did, so he tried his best to keep the adoring snickers to himself. The mewls and whimpers were absolutely the most charming yet arousing thing Victor had heard in a long time. The stunning man lewdly splayed out on the escort’s bed had no idea how desirable he was at that very moment.

Reaching over, Victor grabbed a small bottle of lube and a condom from the nightstand, tossing the square wrapper nearby. Positioning himself between the other's legs, he squirted a big dollop of lubricant in his hands and rubbed them together as Yuri watched on, mesmerized by the girth that was supposed to fit inside him without pain.

“Lift.” Victor settled a pillow under his partner’s hips. “Relax your lower body—I’m starting with one finger, and it’s gonna feel very weird at first.”

The silver-haired beauty was true to his word, starting slowly as he opened up the flower below. Copious amounts of lube allowed Victor to eventually reach a total of three fingers inside the tight cavern. Yuri bucked as the man brushed against his prostate, causing him to scream curses. After a few rounds of in and out, stretching his three fingers apart as much as he could, Victor removed the digits, wiping them on the bed.

Patting the bed a few times, Victor glanced around the perimeter—he couldn’t find the condom he’d set on the duvet earlier. Laughing to himself, he got up to find where it had slid on the floor. “One sec.” He kissed Yuri’s ankle in apology. After it was found, he rose to see Yuri had turned, now facing down and on all fours with his head buried in a pillow 

Victor licked his lips as he took a moment to appreciate the round ass that was open and ready for him. Caressing the exposed thighs and squeezing both cheeks, relishing the beautiful body before him, he inched up the trembling form until he was folded over the man with his rock-hard erection pushing into the cleft of his ass. Playfully nipping at Yuri’s ear, he whispered, "Yuuurrriii..." in quiet sing-song voice. The other turned slightly, feeling a nose slide uphis temple. "This isn't the movies, Love. You'll remember this moment forever. Wouldn't you rather see the person taking you for the first time instead of burying your head in my sheets?" He patted Yuri's ass. "Turn back around—from behind would be much too deep for your first time anyway.”

Yuri twisted back, settling the pillow under his hips once again and spreading legs for the other to get between them. Yuri squeezed his eyes shut, but opened them again when his name was called.

“Watch me…so you can verify I’m putting a condom on. Even though I care about your safety, not everyone will…”

Yuri’s eyes were fixed on the man kneeling above him, focusing intently as the latex glided over the escort’s dick. A dick that Yuri was starting to feel very wary of at that moment. A few more drops of lube and a couple strokes and Victor was re-positioning himself between the trembling thighs.

Yuri smoothed his hands up Victor’s chest as the man laid down on top of him, supported by his elbows. “This…this is really happening?"

Victor softly moaned as he bucked his hips forward slightly, his cock gliding past the other’s hole. "Yes, this is _really_ happening,” he whispered into his lover’s ear, kissing the lobe to reassure him.

"Here we go. Any last words?" The pair was nose to nose, Victor looking directly into excited but worried cocoa eyes.

"Tha-thank you for being so patient—so gentle." Yuri captured Victor’s heart-shaped lips. "And," he wrapped his arms around the other’s neck. "please, don't hurt me..."

"Never,” he paused. "Unless you want me to.” Victor gave him a wink before nuzzling into his chest. He then positioned himself at Yuri’s entrance, rubbing against it a bit. "Relax; don’t forget to breathe. Do what comes naturally to you. You can grab me or my hair, scratch my back—even bite me. Whatever is fine; I won't break. This is for you.” Victor kissed him once more. “Ready?”

 

* * *

 

“Ready,” Yuri said as he took a deep breath to center himself.

Victor cupped his warm cheeks, rubbing his thumbs in circles, never taking his eyes off the other’s as he pushed himself forward—his breath hitched as he felt the other’s walls give way, allowing him access to the sacred space no other had been given the right to enter. He watched the planes of Yuri’s face changed as he was penetrated for the first time.

“So…full!” Yuri ran his fingers through the silver hair above.

“Wrap your legs around me—you can push me in at your own pace if you want,” Victor whispered before capturing the quivering lips. Yuri had moaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a second, but didn’t cry out or otherwise say much as the first few seconds ticked by. _I hope he’s not in pain._

Yuri did one better. Wrapping his legs and arms around the man above tightly, he nuzzled his face into the crook of Victor’s neck and sunk his teeth in—instantly pulling his legs together and shoving Victor forward, burying the man inside him almost as deep as he could go in that position.

A shocked Victor gasped and tried to pull his hips back, but was unable due to Yuri’s strong legs locking him in place. “Yuri!? My god, I’m deep—too fast—you’re so tight!”

Yuri kissed and lapped at the bruising skin of the bite before placing a kiss on the other’s shaky lips. “You’re too slow.” He grinned at the stunned man. “I’ve been waiting and worrying about this moment for a long time. I needed you inside me—taking what’s yours.”

Running his hands down Victor’s back and sides, Yuri kissed his clavicle as he barely moved his hips. He whispered in the other’s ear, giving it a nip. “Have your dessert—I’m offering.” He loosened his legs so the other could move. “Just go slow at first.”

Victor was bewildered, never having had a client like the one under him at that moment. “You’re always surprising me, Yuri Katsuki.”Pulling out and pushing back in, Victor made sure to bump the other’s sweet spot, getting a moan and a scratch to his back in return. “You’re beautiful…just beautiful.”

As he felt Yuri’s walls loosen, Victor picked up the pace, starting to lightly pound into the warm hole at Yuri’s urging. Sliding a hand down, he stroked his partner’s rock hard cock, bringing the other on the edge of orgasm. Welts bloomed on Yuri’s chest as Victor left his mark on the once unmarred body.

“Oh god, Victor! Victor! If you tease me like that while stabbing my prostate I’m gonna fucking explode!”

Victor breathed out a playful giggle as he angled his dick and did it again. He was having such fun hearing the younger man squeal and scream as he was made love to with alternating slow and fast strokes. Victor grinned devilishly, making Yuri look at him as he reared back and shoved in as he pulled the other’s cock hard with his slicked fingers.

The shy boy screamed with a slew of Japanese and English curses as his orgasm hit him like a tsunami wave of pleasure. He couldn’t control the buck of his hips as streams of white covered their stomachs. Victor let loose his own curses as his de-virginized lover squeezed his insides so tightly upon orgasm that it made the older man lose it, giving him one of the strongest releases he’d had in a long time. Victor hadn’t noticed the pain when nails scraped down his back as the man under him shook and moaned in ecstasy.

“Amazing!!!” Victor breathed out as he came down from his high, feeling himself start to soften. He slipped out gently, removing and depositing the well-used condom in the wastebasket. Yuri turned to spoon into the other, grabbing the escort’s arm and wrapping it around him while the other slid behind his head. The two men laid their quietly, basking in the glow and scent of sex.

Yuri was still catching his breath, a little dazed from the emotional and physical toll. Victor nuzzled into the dark, sweaty hair, uncaring since they were both drenched anyway. “Yuri,” he started softly, “are you alright?” Concern was etched in the escort’s voice. He’d never been with a virgin before, but he thought it was odd that Yuri hadn’t said anything besides a few moans after orgasming. The other didn’t even look at him after turning over.

Victor leaned over, trying to get a glimpse of the other’s face. He then heard the last sound he wanted to hear—a sniffle. It was like a white-hot dagger to the escort’s heart. _Reality is coming back to him, isn’t it? He’s regretting it. He regrets giving me, a stranger—an escort—his virginity. He’s going to hate me._

Worried thoughts shot through Victor’s head like lightning. As much as is hurt to think those things, he had to push past his own concerns to check on his partner—the man who just gave him a precious gift that couldn’t be returned. "Oh, God, Yuri…did I hurt you? Do you want me to leave—give you some space?”

Yuri turned, wiping a tear from his eye. "No, no, you didn't hurt me. It was...fuck, I can't even describe...amazing? Spectacular? I’m so goddamn happy right now it’s embarrassing—acting like a girl after she gives it up. I don’t want you to leave—that’s the problem I guess—I want you to stay."

"Then...why are you crying? I don’t understand.” Victor’s hand cupped Yuri’s reddened face, brushing a tear away with a thumb.

"It's me. I just...I just realized...I gave myself to you…had sex with you and..." He blew out a heavy breath. "I don't even know your last name."

Victor's face paled in anguish as he hugged Yuri tightly, kissing his damp forehead, finishing with a peck to the crown of his head. "Oh, Yuri. Sweet, Yuri. I don't give cli—I mean, I don't typically give people my first name, nonetheless my last name. I..."

Yuri covered his face with the comforter, sliding away from the other man, mumbling, "Yeah, I know...I know what I am. I put the money in the box, remember?"

Victor sighed, snuggling into Yuri's hair despite the other scooting away. "No, don’t pull away from me—you're not going anywhere right now. You're too emotional."

Yuri pulled the covers from his face, revealing red eyes and pouty lips. "What do you care, _Victor the Escort?_ You don’t really care about me—I’m a _job_."

Victor moved to squeeze his ass. "Don’t be like that.” The man sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You'll be the ruin of me, Yuri Katsuki. I don't know what it is about you. You are so wrong—I can't stop myself from caring about you. And if you were just a job you wouldn’t be here right now. If you were a regular client, I would have taken your money and screwed you in some hotel. You definitely wouldn’t know my real first name or my address.” The man ran a shaky hand through his messy silver hair. “Fuck, I've already broken so many rules!"

A mumble came from below. "I thought you made the rules..."

A chuckle reverberated through Victor's chest into Yuri's. "Yes, I did say that, didn’t I? Apparently, I tossed the good 'ole Victor Nikiforov Rule Book out the window while it burned up in flames when I met you. Fuck the rules, huh?" He grinned down to meet the other's eyes that darted up in surprise.

"Yep. Nikiforov. It doesn't roll off your tongue as nice as Katsuki though."

Yuri couldn’t stop the tears from coming—though not from anxiety or sadness this time, but from pure joy. “Thank you. You don’t realize how much that means to me.” He pushed himself up to capture the blue-eyed man’s lips.

Victor sighed once more, catching the other in a hug. “You don’t realize what I’ve just given you.” He had an unsteady tone to his voice. “Listen, Yuri, my name, my address, even the car I drive is information for you and you alone. Honestly, I’m a bit terrified.” He hesitantly put a finger under Yuri’s chin, ensuring that the man’s full attention was on him. “You now have the power to destroy me—to destroy my career—to destroy my life.” He paused, taking a breath. “Please, don’t. You trusted me with your virginity, now I’m trusting you with my livelihood.”

Yuri captured the man in a nearly rib-breaking hug as he peppered the worried face with sweet kisses. “Oh, god, Victor. I would NEVER…”

Nuzzling him, the escort rubbed the back of the other’s head. “My Yuri…but you already did…”

“No, I never told…” Yuri stopped, a memory coming back to him. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Phichit! I fucking told Phichit your name! Oh, god. I’m so sorry! I ruined everything again!” Yuri’s anxiety was back in full force after a brief moment of peace as the pair made love.

“I’m always fucking up—saying the wrong thing, asking the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing! I’m so stupid!!!” Yuri screeched as he wove his fingers through his hair, pulling it harshly. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” The poor boy was shaking in the bed as he fisted his hair. He betrayed Victor—he was an idiot that didn’t deserve such a nice and handsome man. It was all true—his anxiety told him so.

Victor’s face changed like a switch had been turned. He was aggravated, bordering on pissed. The taller man had Yuri pinned underneath him in one quick movement; the other hadn’t seen it coming. In the next instant, Yuri’s hands were torn from his hair and pinned together above his head with one strong hand.

“STOP IT!” Victor huffed, glaring at the shocked man under him. It was Yuri’s turn to be fearful; he was powerless under the stronger man’s weight—a man that he didn’t technically know—who could be capable of anything. His panic had him on high alert; goosebumps erupted on his skin; he started trembling and breathing heavily. A tear slid out, landing on the pillow accompanied by a tiny voice. “Please…don’t...”

“Then stop hurting yourself!” Victor released him, gathering him in his arms and holding him tightly, rocking him in his arms.

“Dammit, I’m sorry—I—you were about you rip your hair out. I’m not the one that’s going to hurt you, Yuri. You’re not stupid—you’re a genuinely caring man with a pure heart. And goddammit, I want to protect you, even from yourself. I don’t know why, but you are special to me. I cannot stand it when you hurt yourself…when you hate yourself. I’m so sorry I scared you. I know this night turned into shit.” He laughed dryly. “First times are never perfect.” He drew Yuri into a kiss, and the other let him. “I didn’t tell you that to make you loathe yourself—I told you that so you would understand that you have my life and my heart in your shaky little hands. Please be careful, don’t crush them.”

Yuri grabbed the back of the other’s neck, rubbing the ends of hair there. “Victor, I’m sorry too. I’ve got years of anxiety and self-hatred inside me. I got bullied and beat up as a kid—you don’t get how backward I was…how backward I am. What kind of normal person would hire a stranger to pop their cherry? Who does that?”

“You do. And I’m so glad you did and that you chose me.”

Yuri rose, getting up off the bed to wipe himself off with a sheet. “Well, you got one thing right?”

Victor let himself fall in the warm space the other just occupied. “Hm?”

“I’ll definitely remember this night forever. Nothing like making love and then getting bitch slapped.” Victor started to defend himself, that he didn’t raise a hand to him, but Yuri cut him off, putting up a hand. “Let me finish,” he sighed.

“No one has ever called me out on my bullshit like that before. I mean, Phichit would make comments and push me out of a funk, but when I was dead set on hatred, nothing would get me to think otherwise—except you. You are the only person, Victor Nikiforov, that has had the balls to put me in my place. You did scare me for a second—I thought you might hit me and my mind wandered to getting beaten up as a child.  When my rational brain kicked in while you were talking, I realized that I needed that jolt to wake my ass up to what I’m doing to myself. Here you’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I’m cowering from you like you’re going to beat me when you’re simply trying to prevent me from essentially cutting myself over and over, only I do it in my head instead of on my arm with a blade.”

Yuri paused, a grin oddly appearing on his face, confusing the other as they locked eyes. “Dammit. See, you must be special to me too—once again you’re the only person that can get me to go on a tirade in the middle of a bedroom stark naked and me not even worry about how I look or if my words are offending you. That’s progress.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I think you need to fuck some more confidence or sense into me or something—that and I need to get a second job to pay for it.”

Victor shook his head, putting two fingers to each of his temples. “This has been…the strangest, most emotionally wonderful yet draining date of my life.” Yuri agreed, nodding as he walked to the en-suite bathroom. “But it was so worth it—even if it was interrupted by my insecurities.”

Even with the emotional explosion, the escort wasn’t deterred—he felt something for the shy man, and he was going to see where that path led.

“So, when can I see you again?” Victor called out with a grin as he heard the water start. A head popped out of the doorway. “That’s _my_ line. You can when you can get paid.”

Victor laughed as he waved the other man away. “And _that_ is **_my_** line!”

Yuri slammed the door as a pillow hurled his way. Victor could hear the cackling even over the sink’s running water. “Hey, how’s your ass?”

The younger man poked his head out again, darting his eyes around looking for more pillows. “It’s wet!” Yuri turned to shut off the water.

Victor smiled, amused by the response. “You think it’s bad now, just wait ‘till I come in it,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“What’d you say?” Yuri called out, hearing talking but not being able to make it out.

“Nothing, Dear…” _Nothing you need to worry about…yet._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start the party! Yuri is no longer a virgin!!!
> 
> I hope this chapter read alright. I debated breaking it up into two chapters since it is over 4k words, but I couldn't figure out a proper place to split it without it being lopsided.
> 
> My original intent was to let them have wonderful, no-issues first-time sex, but the characters kind of took it away from me while I was writing. I guess it's more believable because 'absolutely perfect and without worries' in regards to losing one's virginity typically doesn't happen in real life. (And if it did, you are incredibly lucky!)
> 
> If you'd like, tell me what you think. I'm always striving to write better and things don't always translate from my head to the "paper" as well as I think it did. :)
> 
> 10/3/17 Update: I did rework this chapter with the editing critiques I received in mind. I'm still not entirely happy with my use of pronouns, but I hope for improvement as I get more experience.  
> <3


	5. Chapter 5

 

* * *

 

"You said this was a small gallery showing." Yuri hesitated, one hand on the glass door, as his eyes darted past the first one hundred or so people he saw in ball gowns and tuxes.

Putting an arm around his best friend, Phichit patted the other's back. "It is a small showing—for my entries anyway. If I'd have told you that my photos would be up with the big boys you wouldn't have come."

"So you tricked me?"

"No, I simply neglected to mention my version of small is a bit larger than yours. Come on," Phichit nudged the other forward, "you want to support your one and only right?"

Yuri shrugged the hand off, giving the worst side-eye he could muster. "One and only? You mean one and only asshole? In that case, I've already got one and don't need another."

"Oh stop." Phichit took out his phone, snapping a quick picture of Yuri before the annoyed man could stop him. "You're a man now—act like it. This cute pic of you is going in the next show too if you don't put on a smile."

It was painful, but Yuri turned his grimace into a half smile while rolling his eyes at the other. "What do you mean, 'too'?"

"Nothing, nothing. Now, that's a better face...for you anyway." Phichit grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter's tray. "Here." He wrapped his friend's fingers around the stemware. "Go mingle—enjoy photos. I release you my child into the wilds of gorgeous people."

Yuri took an undignified gulp of the bubbly concoction, slurping for good measure. "Fuck you."

Phichit waved him off, blowing a kiss as he walked backward to his display room. "Ha ha, never. But maybe if you're lucky someone will take pity on you…then again, your boy toy will probably give it to you real good tonight so you might wanna save it for him. He turned as he heard someone call his name. "Gotta go, but if you need me, I'm in Gallery Room Three upstairs. Landscapes," he pointed to a far hall, "are that way; I know you like those."

“Hey, don’t leave!” Yuri lowered his voice when he saw a few unhappy glances as he fast-walked toward his departing friend. Speaking between clenched teeth, he asked, “How the _hell_ did you know I had a _session_ later tonight?”

The grin on Phichit’s face was anything but reassuring. Yuri inched backward at first when Phichit leaned in close to his ear. “You talk in your sleep sometimes—loudly.”

“No, I don’t!” Whispering was not in Yuri’s ability as more people turned to stare.

“Shhh. Not so loud. And yes you do. Jesus, man, who knew you could be so lewd—I know _I_ didn’t teach you those words. Your man’s gonna have a hell of a time with you when you finally let loose.”

“Shut up; you’re embarrassing me.”

“Only in front of your awake self.” Phichit giggled, murmuring, “Don’t get all pissy—you know I love you, even if you are kinky.”

Crossing his arms, Yuri defended, albeit weakly, “One, I am not like that and two, he’s not mine.”

“Oh, but you want him to be…” Plucking the glass out of the other’s hands, Phichit finished off the rest of the alcohol, giving the flute back to Yuri with a wink. “Now, this time I’m really leaving. No one’s gonna buy my stuff if I’m not there to shake hands and rub elbows. Go, have fun for once…and check out my work will you?”

“Okay, okay.” Biting his lip and taking a breath, Yuri tried to calm his nerves as a group of enthusiastically chatty women walked past, brushing his arm with some of their handbags. _I hate crowds._ He watched his friend disappear into a sea of dresses as the photographer made it upstairs. Yuri was alone in a mass of people.

After walking around a bit aimlessly, Yuri made his way to the hall of landscape images. Shots of the sea were always the Japanese man’s favorite—it reminded him of home. Some of the stills appeared almost abstract as different lenses and photography techniques were used. Yuri felt a calm come over him as he took in the fields flowers and grasses. An image of bare winter trees was especially intriguing—they looked so sad yet beautiful at the same time. Taking another drink from a tray that floated by, he turned to make his way upstairs.

“Oh!” An older woman shouted out, ringing her hands of the white wine droplets.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Yuri felt around his pockets, but he didn’t have any tissues nor a handkerchief. “Let me um…get napkins or…” He back stepped as he adjusted his glasses a few more times than necessary. “I wasn’t paying attention. One sec, I’ll…” Before he was able to glance above the crowd to find a restroom, a hand nudged him out of the way.

“Oh, Dear…are you alright?” A tall man fluffed out a pocket square, dabbing the lace of the sleeved gown as much as he could, muttering his own apologies as his back was turned to Yuri.

The woman battled the other away. “I’m fine, you worry too much over me. This poor dear just happened to bump me…it was an accident…and this is an old dress anyway.” The lady patted the man’s cheek as she turned him around to face a thoroughly embarrassed, red-faced Yuri Katsuki.

“Ma’am I’m truly sorry; please, let me get…”

“Young man,” she put a hand on Yuri’s padded shoulder, wiping the imaginary dust off the suit coat. “you look like you’re about to pass out. It really isn’t a big deal, Sweetie. Dmitry here is a worry wart. I swear he thinks I’ll kick the bucket if I’m the least bit startled.”

The man laughed uneasily, putting his arm around the cinched waist. “I would never, Lilly…”

“Oh hush, you.” She slapped her date on the back playfully.

Yuri was silent as he took in the beautiful pair in front of him. One a thin, shorter woman, about her mid-fifties and the other a tall, muscular man in his early-thirties with ocean blue eyes and tousled silver hair.

Yuri took a few steps backward, running a hand through his own locks. He mumbled a few times before words would come out coherently. “Um..I…ah…sorry…again, Ms. Lilly…Mr. D-Dmitry.”

“Lilly, Dear, I’ll be right back. I think I need to show this charming boy where to find proper towels to dry you off.” He kissed her cheek as Yuri steadied himself on a nearby table. He looked like he was about to topple over.

“Don’t you dare yell at that poor kid. He already looks ill from humiliation.” She turned to the other. “I’ll wait here while you two get some damp cloths. And don’t you let him sass you,” she said, gesturing toward Yuri. “He may look aggravated, but he’s really a softie.”

“Lilly!”

The woman waived the two men away, wetness flying as she moved.

Yuri’s eyes scanned the area, desperately seeking the men’s room so he could dive into a stall and hyperventilate. This was unexpected—not only did he drench another guest in wine, but the man she was with was the man he’d dreamed about since he gave up his virginity to him a week ago. It wasn’t like Yuri was unaware that Victor had many clients, he just didn’t expect to see him _working_. It was unnerving and he felt a little sick to his stomach—Victor was going to…with her…and then be with him later that night. Saying Yuri was unsettled was an understatement.

Nearly falling into the bathroom door, Yuri let it fly backward, forgetting Victor was right behind him. Quick reflexes prevented the day from getting worse and having someone’s broken nose on his conscience as well.

A splash of water on his face didn’t make Yuri feel any better. He refused to look in the mirror to see the man behind him as he gripped the countertop so tight his knuckles were turning white.

“Yuri…”

“Don’t talk to me. I can’t…”

Victor let out a sigh, shaking his head as he took in the hunched over form at the sink. “It’s not what you think. My job is…”

Yuri flipped around so quickly it made Victor take a step back, bumping into a stall door. “No.” He put a finger up, pointing it in the other’s direction, but dropped it immediately. Getting hostile would not help the situation. He knew in his heart he had no right, but his emotions were becoming unhinged. “It is exactly what I think it is. I know, it’s your job. You’ll fuck her in a few hours and then fuck me later tonight—acting like you give a shit about both of us.”

The irate man wasn’t ready for the reaction he received. Before Yuri could think, he was pushed up against a wall with a firm grip on his jaw. Victor’s body was pressed against his, pinning him helplessly to the spot. “You don’t get it. You’re just a jealous little shit right now. My job is not to screw anyone and everyone that makes an appointment with me. Not everyone wants sex. Some people just want a kind ear to listen or a simple date to a fancy gallery exhibition. I have known Lilly for years; she’s one of my long-time repeat customers—and we have not once fucked…or kissed for that matter. She likes my company because I remind her of her _deceased_ son. So next time get your facts straight before you try to go off on me for doing my damn job!”

He attempted to turn away but was unable; Victor was in his face, and Yuri couldn’t turn from those burning blue eyes. “I’m an ass. I’m sorry…”

The escort was bewildered at the other’s actions. He’d never had a client get so pissed over another client before—he should have known Yuri would surprise him. “Yes, you are being an ass—and tonight that ass will pay for your actions.” Victor took the opportunity as the other’s mouth dropped, crashing his tongue inside the warm cavern as he held Yuri’s face tightly. The kiss almost hurt, but Yuri welcomed the contact. He could feel Victor’s agitation as his lips moved, taking nips of Yuri’s bottom lip. “You’re lucky I don’t make you blow me right now as punishment.”

“You can’t do…”

Grinning, Victor looked down Yuri’s body once before catching his eyes. “Sweet, Yuri, don’t tell me what I can’t do—besides,” He licked across his top lip gently. “if you weren’t interested, why did you just get hard?” Victor ran a finger down the other’s crotch. “I think someone likes it when I’m a little forceful.”

Yuri stuck his bottom lip out as he nudged the other away so he could wrap his arms around himself. “Whatever.”

Victor placed a wet kiss on his forehead. “I need to go take some towels to Lilly—she’s probably wondering where the hell I’m at. You better stay here a few and get—situated.” He paused, reaching down to squeeze Yuri’s ass, whispering in his ear, “I expect you to keep your appointment tonight. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m going to give you a little lesson on blowjobs—I want those pouty lips around my cock this evening. Got it?”

A groan slipped out before Yuri could slap a hand over his mouth. Instead of answering, risking something more embarrassing escaping, he shook his head—a bit too enthusiastically.

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Dmitry has a date that’s waiting on him.”

 

* * *

 

Yuri paced in the bathroom a few times before he felt normal enough to exit. He didn’t know what was worse, making a spectacle of himself as he spilled his drink on someone or Victor finding out he enjoyed a bit of domination. _That damn man..I don_ _’t know how he sees through me so clearly. Am I that transparent or is he just good picking up on body language?_

Phichit roamed all of upstairs and down, unable to find his friend. “Damn, don’t tell me he left without letting me know,” he grumbled. Breathing a sigh of relief, he weaved in and out of the throng of people when he saw Yuri leave one of the far bathrooms.”

“Yuri,” he called, waving his hand in the air. Yuri was startled as he was given a bear hug.

“What…”

“Guess what!? Dude, I just sold one of my larger photos! Someone paid freaking three hundred bucks for a picture of yo…” He stopped, jumping around the other like he was a kid in a candy store. “It doesn’t matter—I sold a big one!”

“What?” Yuri jerked from Phichit’s hold. “Did I just hear you right? You sold a picture of…?  Of…ME!?”

Phichit rubbed his hands together, clenching his teeth while breathing a nervous chuckle. “Well…come on…Yuri…”

“Oh, no you fucking didn’t. What the hell! I never gave you permission to take my photo, and now I find you did _and_ you just sold it!?” Yuri turned away from his friend, fuming. He couldn’t clench his fists hard enough to distract himself; he wasn’t a violent person but at the moment he wanted to punch a certain Thai photographer.

This was bad. Phichit never saw his best friend so upset. It was just a picture, after all. “Yuri, no one can even tell it’s you! It was when you were at work, and I was waiting for you to clock out…it’s just a blurred side shot of you.” He yanked the other’s hand, twisting him around so he could speak to him face to face. “You were talking with a customer and laughing…not one of those fake laughs you do, but a real one. I’ve never seen you that relaxed and free just chatting before, so I snapped a picture. I blurred it so it looks like a random dark-headed man in a purple apron with a dazzling smile. No one would know it’s you—it’s just a real-life still.” He reached to hug him again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think—I should have asked. Man, you were just so…stunning…happy for once.”

Yuri crossed his arms. “Yeah, just the opposite of right now. Great, now some old perv will get _happy_ with my goddamn photo in his living room or some shit.”

“It could have been a smokin’ hot lady too.” Phichit flinched, rubbing his arm from the throb of a smack. “What…hot girl is better than an old guy. Who cares, it was an anonymous bid.

“Don’t do this ever again, Phichit.” Yuri’s face fell, uncomfortable at the thought that some stranger would have an image of him on their wall from now on. “It’s creepy.” His body shook with a tremor. “Gah, gross.”

“Why are you so bitchy? What the hell happened when I was gone? I said I was sorry and I told you, no one will know.”

“I’ll know, Phichit! I will know my face is out there…even if it is blurred and abstract or whatever.” Yuri folded his arms, huffing. “I’m taking a cab home.” He started walking toward the front of the building, not giving his friend another glance.

Phichit glared as his shoes, pissed at himself for being so thoughtless. Before the other could get out of earshot, he offered, “Hey, I’ll give all the money—as an apology.”

Yuri waved backward without turning. “I don’t want anything. I’m just disappointed, and I’m going home—don’t wait up for me; I’ll be gone when you get there.”

“Shit…I fucked up, royally…” Phichit made his way back to where his gallery was being taken down. He’d sold a few shots throughout the night, but none as lucrative as Yuri’s photo. All the excitement was gone, reality hitting him in the face that just because Yuri let him post a few selfies of him online did not mean he could blow an image up and sell it to a stranger. Lesson learned. He hoped it wouldn’t destroy their long-held relationship.

 

* * *

 

Yuri glanced down at his watch.

“Thirty minutes. Where are you, Victor?” Shivering outside the condo entrance, Yuri took out his phone again, this time pressing the call button next to Victor’s name. Hearing footsteps coming up the stairway, he ended the call, peeking over the side to see who had arrived.

“Victor! Where were you? You’re pretty la…” He paused as he saw the man lugging something.

“What the hell is that?”

The escort smiled then apologized for his tardiness. “Oh, yeah, there was this awesome piece at the show! Who knew it would be so cumbersome to get such a large print into a two-door!”

Yuri stared at the man, wide-eyed with his jaw dropped.

“Yuri? What’s wrong?” Victor passed the other, taking his keys and unlocking the front door. “Come in; I’ll show you—I think you’ll be surprised…”

Yuri followed, dumbfounded at first. “I have this feeling…that somehow I won’t be…”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this quick interim chapter! I wanted to get it up for the weekend since I'm unsure if I'll have the time to edit and update these next couple of days.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading this crazy stuff outta my head! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath and insecurities—what will happen next!? Good? Bad? Eh? Read on to see...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

 

* * *

 

Yuri mashed the on-screen keys of his phone furiously, adding words like “pissed,” “groveling,” and “pray.” He was propped up on his elbows, attempting to glare at the screen while a breeze brushed over his bare back and ass.

“Would you stop blowing on me? Just a minute!” Yuri didn’t give the man behind him the courtesy of a glance as he went back to his all-important phone. “Phichit must realize my wrath, and he needs to grovel at your feet for the sheer luck that you bought the gigantic image of my face—God knows why— instead of some stranger!”

Victor crawled up to lay beside the other, coming up to brush some hair behind Yuri’s ear. “Side profile,” Victor corrected. “And as much as I love that you don’t consider me a stranger and that you’re not having a panic attack about the picture anymore, I’d rather have _you_ groveling at my feet—with your mouth open—instead of your roommate.”

“Put the phone down, Yuuurrriii…please…” Victor begged after the flirting failed.

Yuri continued tapping on his phone, determined to get his message across as he ignored the naked man stretched next to him.

As they were undressing earlier, he couldn’t get the frustration about the print from his mind considering it was resting against the wall in Victor’s bedroom. In reality, he was glad the escort was the one to purchase the oversized photo, but he didn’t dare openly admit it. The line about no one would notice who was in the image was apparently just a smooth lie Phichit fed him to avoid more issues. Victor recognized it immediately as he passed it hanging in the gallery and, on a whim, bought the print without thinking of the possible repercussions.

Batting the hand away that was trying swipe his phone, Yuri snapped, “Dammit, just one more minute. I’m a paying customer! You can wait!”

Victor rolled his eyes before getting up to cage the body that was stretched out on his bed, making sure the tip of his hardening cock nudged the top of Yuri’s cleft. If off-handed flirting didn’t work, maybe this would. Leaning down, he began to pepper Yuri’s neck and upper back with sweet kisses, commenting as he ventured lower.

“Oh, but your merchandise is waiting…so _impatiently_ …”

Yuri was so engrossed in his text conversation that he didn’t move as his cheeks were slowly spread apart. Victor moaned, licking his lips as he gazed upon the crinkled pink bud. Gliding his nose down the crease, he paused, blowing a puff of air on the tight entrance. No response.

This was it. No more nicely waiting, _very expensive_ , merchandise.

The phone clattered to the floor as it tumbled off the bed. Yuri’s eyes went wide before a scream escaped his throat. A moan followed the screeching as he gripped the sheets with both fists. “Son of a bitch!” squeaked out of Yuri’s mouth between more moans of pleasure.

Victor dug his tongue into the entrance deeper as his lover pushed back against him.

“What…are you…doing?” Yuri breathed out when he realized his hips moved on their own accord. “Ew…don’t…”

A chuckle radiated from between the other’s legs. “Don’t stop you mean? Good, because I’m hungry and you are simply _delicious_.”

Yuri yelped when Victor grabbed his dick with a slicked firm hand, gliding over the length with expert strokes. “Don’t stop!!! Yes, more Victor!”

Taking that as a good sign, Victor swirled his tongue inside, flicking it out and in a few times to match the rhythm of his stroking. “Come for me,” he murmured between licks and sucks.

As if Yuri’s body obeyed Victor alone, he convulsed, bucking forward as he released in thick streams of white onto the fresh sheets below.

Victor continued to eat Yuri out as he came down from his high. Still clutching the sheets, Yuri steadied his breathing enough to speak. “Wow, that’s one way to get me off my phone!” He rolled over, careful to avoid his own mess on the bed. Flopping on his back, he looked up at Victor, reaching his hand out to caress the other’s cheek.

“Thank you; that was incredible! You do too much for me, Victor—I’m sorry I was ignoring you.” Yuri shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, you have another of my firsts…”

Capturing Yuri’s lips, despite him turning his head at first, Victor ran his hands down the sensitive body. “Don’t think about it—just enjoy my lips on yours.” Chuckling, he added, “Funny, I have a feeling I’m getting all of your firsts.”

“Someone’s presumptuous,” Yuri chided.

“Maybe I am…but you’ve got two of mine now. I’ve never had someone reject me, a naked man sprawled out on a bed, in favor of their cellphone. And, much more pleasurable, I’ve never eaten someone out without a barrier before. You’re clean, so I went for it.”

Yuri covered his face with his hands, turning away from the other. “Thanks for the firsts but, God, that makes me sound terrible when you say it like that! I’m so sorry!”

Victor pulled Yuri’s hands away, kissing the knuckles before gathering both wrists and putting them above the dark head of hair. “Yuriiiii…if you’re going to mumble I’d rather you do it around my cock instead of in your hands.” He placed a kiss on the smirking lips below. “If you’re _that_ sorry for ignoring me you can suck me off if you’d like. I mean, I wouldn’t mind or anything…” Trying to get up without his hands, Yuri bent forward for a kiss, failing to reach and catching a nipple instead earning a deep moan from the other. If the hardness poking the side of Yuri’s hip was any indication, Victor would be all too happy to slide his dick between those pump lips.

“O-ok…um…I might be a little awkward.”

“But, I’ll try,” Yuri quickly followed, “Can you show me what to do…if I’m really…bad?”

Victor nodded. “Of course I’ll guide you—just do what comes natural and I can coach you along if needed.”

“Do you…want to stand? I-I can get on my knees…” Yuri asked in a shaky voice, unsure of what position would be best.

Victor ran a hand through Yuri’s dark locks before grabbing his neck to nip at a collar bone. “I’ll scoot up to the top of the bed so you can be comfortable too. I won’t have your first BJ be in a demeaning position, though I admit, it’s arousing to look down at your lover on their knees—mouth open—taking you in. The eye contact in that scenario is also erotic.” He shuddered, offering a laugh. “But all that for later possibly—if you end up liking giving blowjobs; not everyone does.”

Yuri scrambled between Victor’s legs, eager to put another first time behind him. He’d wanted to see what Victor tasted like ever since he saw the well-endowed man, but he would never be able to say such things out loud. Leaning down, mouth open, he was about to take a lick when a hand stopped him.

“I’ll tell you when I’m close so you can pull off…and…please, don’t forget to watch the teeth—just a scrape can be very painful and make someone soft in less than a second.” Victor smiled as Yuri nervously touched his temple where his glasses usually sat. “Don’t worry, let my hands guide you and don’t be alarmed if I fist your hair. I have good control; I won’t fuck your mouth and if you feel I’m gagging you, just tap my leg.”

Yuri began slowly as he ran his fingers up Victor’s thighs and gave the tip a quick suck. The taste was bitter; he tried not to make a face as he dove forward to pop the entire head in his mouth. After a few minutes of lavishing all the attention on purplish top, Yuri felt hands come from behind to thread through his locks, massaging the scalp below. A nudge from the kneading fingers had Yuri taking more of the dick, but a few swirls of the tongue still didn’t do much.

“May I?”

Yuri glanced up as he heard the smooth Russian voice. Nodding, he gave consent for the other to take control.

“Sorry,” Yuri mumbled, looking down after he pulled off the slightly softened member.

“Don’t be sorry,” Victor cooed. “Learn. Use your tongue as you pull off and back on. Your hand can stroke my base as your mouth focuses on the head. More advanced you can move from dick to balls and back. All in time; you’re doing fine.”

The blush on Yuri’s face couldn’t be hidden. He was embarrassed but also beaming inside at the godlike man before him. Here Yuri was, paying the man for sexual experiences, and Victor couldn’t have been more caring or gentle. It didn’t matter that the pay was hundreds of dollars less than what he should be receiving, something that was slowly eating away at Yuri, Victor still took great care to ensure his client was able to check off all the virgin boxes he’d wanted without pressure or impatience.

The second try was much more satisfying. Victor guided the hot mouth in a slow rhythm to start, allowing Yuri to take over as he got used to the motion needed. Yuri was reluctant to move his hands at first, but got into the movement as the the moans and groans grew louder. His heart quickened as the hand on his head tightened its grip during his attempt to push the cock deeper. The gasp that followed after Yuri hummed as he swirled his tongue down the shaft had him wanting to be even more experimental.

As Yuri gained confidence and kept up a steady rhythm, Victor was near powerless under him. Phrases in Russian and English were like praises directly to Yuri’s ego as the young man sucked even harder, venturing a hand to cup the tightening balls.

“Oh, God, Yuri! Yuri! I’m…close…I’m…” Victor tapped Yuri’s shoulder frantically. “Come. I’m gonna come…pull off…”

Yuri ignored the pleas, only increasing the pressure of his fondling. Despite the dick in his mouth, he tried to grin as he relished in the cute panicky calls.

Unable to contain himself, Victor ran all ten fingers through the head of hair between his legs and yanked, screaming Yuri’s name as he came deep within the throat that wouldn’t cease. The delightful suction didn’t stop as the warm liquid coated Yuri’s tongue and teeth. Victor’s breathing soon steadied, his hands fell to the bed as he tipped his head to rest it on the headboard.

Yuri let up when he felt the mass soften, keeping his mouth shut as his eyes raked over the mess of a man. Victor dove for the tissues after opening his eyes, expecting that Yuri wanted to expel the ejaculate in his mouth. “Here…,” he handed Yuri over a wad of the thin cotton. “spit it in this.”

A smirk edging from the corner of Yuri’s lips was the only warning Victor had that the man situated between his legs would _not_ be doing anything of the sort. A tilt of the head, a gulp, a cough and the very essence of Victor Nikiforov was gone—all but a drop that was sliding down Yuri’s chin.

Victor bolted up with shock, cupping the other’s cheeks as he searched the other’s eyes for an explanation. “You swallowed it!”

Yuri opened his mouth as proof, grinning and licking his lips with a moan. “Mmm…a little salty…a little strong…but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” He patted his stomach. “You’re inside me now…that’s oddly very sexy.”

He wasn’t prepared for Victor to attack his lips with a vengeance. An anxious tongue lapped the cooling residue off Yuri’s chin then explored every inch of that remarkable mouth, licking away any remnants of come. Pulling away, Victor was able to speak coherently. “I can’t believe you did that! You swallowed my…MY…come!”

Yuri shrugged, giggling as his neck was sucked and nibbled by a most excited Victor. “It’s nothing. I mean, I kinda wanted to taste it and well…why not?”

“Why not? Why _would_ you? With what I do for a living…I-I’m just surprised is all.” Victor wrapped the other in his arms. “I’m so happy right now. I think I lo—” He released the other, pulling away and clearing his throat. “Um, sorry. Got carried away.”

A loud grumble broke the uncomfortable silence that stretched after the almost admission. Yuri was the first one to laugh.

“So, you _really_ _were_ hungry!” He exclaimed with a grin on his face.

“I guess so…” Victor replied as he got up to find his boxers. “You probably are too—not a ton of protein in that and all. You were fantastic by the way! I couldn’t have had a better blowjob and with the added bonus of a swallower. Damn.”

Yuri sat up a few inches taller on the bed, his ego larger than it had ever been in his life. “Now you’re just trying to compliment my sub-par, non-existent skills.” He played off the flattery like it was a fluke.

Victor shook his head. “No, I’m serious. You drained me good—literally and figuratively. So much so that I don’t really feel like cooking much.” He ran a hand through his messy silver hair. “Where do you like to go? What do you like to do? For fun—to eat—whatever.”

Yuri answered as he shuffled around the bedroom, gathering his own clothes. “Well,” he said, pulling on a sweater,” I don’t go out to eat much, but as for fun…ah…there’s this park that I like to go to and read sometimes. It’s got a gazebo at the end of the trail, and it overlooks the river. That’s about the only thing I do for fun. I’m not really a _fun_ type of person…if you’ve noticed.”

Striding over, Victor lifted Yuri’s chin, stroking it with two fingers. “I seem to have lots of fun when I’m with you.” Yuri rolled his eyes and chuckled. Victor loved his flirty winks.

“Let’s go. We have some daylight left, and I have some cheese and crackers we can bring. Make a picnic…”

“Now? As in go now? Um…I guess we can.” Yuri checked his phone for the time. “Let’s stop by a convenience store and get some sandwiches first.”

Victor wandered into the living room, finding his shoes, keys, and coat. “Shall we?” He asked as he opened the door for Yuri to step out.

 

* * *

 

Yuri returned to the car, plopping the shopping bag on his lap before fastening the seatbelt. Taking a sandwich out of the bag, he held it up, shaking it for Victor to see.

“I don’t know how these American stores get away with soggy sandwiches like this. 7-Eleven is the U.S. is _nothing_ like the konbinis of Japan. At least you get food that is _actually_ fresh but still portable back home.” He sighed, putting the package and bag on the floorboard.

As Victor drove to the location, he muttered without much thought, “Maybe I should check out these fancy stores of yours someday. It seems unheard of to eat decently from convenience store food.”

“You should! Of course, they have a lot of bad food too, but you can even get cheap sushi. You’d be amazed if you saw what we have.”

Slowing for a light, Victor reached over to squeeze Yuri’s hand. “Seems like you miss it.”

Yuri shrugged, looking out the window. “Yeah. There’s a lot I miss sometimes.” He got quiet as they pulled up to the parking area and as soon the car stopped he was out stretching his legs. Discussing home wasn’t something he wanted to talk about at the moment.

“Wow!” Victor exclaimed as they came upon the large white gazebo. It was in fantastic condition considering how far down the trail it was located. The view was one that couldn’t be beaten in their area of town. Fall started unseasonably late that year, so the trees still had the gorgeous golden, orange, and red hues. “It’s beautiful here!”

Yuri shook a blanket out before draping it over the small table. Grabbing the basket, he set out the picnic as Victor dusted off the seats. Picking up the fluted bottle, he turned to Victor, puzzled.

“Sparking grape juice?”

Victor nodded. “I’m driving, so no alcohol for me.”

Grinning, Yuri filled the cups, setting places for each of them. _No drinking whatsoever if he_ _’s driving? Could this man get any more perfect? He’s in the wrong profession…should be a saint or something._

After talking about random things like their childhood and favorite books, Yuri couldn’t get one question out of his mind. He knew he shouldn’t ask it. The very idea of it would probably ruin the entire date. But that was the problem—a date. They were on a date…again.

The question came tumbling out before he could stop it. If it wouldn’t have made him sound insane, he would have sworn the anxiety made him do it.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Hm?” Victor answered, putting his cup down and clearing the crumbs from his hands. “What do you mean? Doing what?”

“This.” Yuri gestured, indicating the food and their environment by whirling his arms around. “Dates. You keep taking me places.”

Victor still didn’t get what the fuss was about; he was confused and a little taken aback when Yuri seemed agitated. "The business card you left the note on—I went to your site—I saw the rate for one date night of dinner and _other activities._ " He didn’t know if he was getting worked up at the situation or at himself; he’d been holding this in for a while now, wondering why Victor was indulging him. He was never able to get a straight answer before.

"So..." Victor tried to smile, scooting closer. He could practically feel the storm that was rumbling inside Yuri’s head at that moment.

"Victor, your date nights fucking _begin_ at three grand. So, why have you only taken, what, a thousand from me—your hourly rate times two—so far? I've taken up tons of your time and you've even paid for dinner one night and cooked the other!”

Yuri sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I can't pay you that. I mean, unless you take credit cards, IOUs, or…blood sacrifices." The curt laugh that followed wasn’t lost on Victor.

Victor’s smile was brighter than the sun as he looked into Yuri’s stressed eyes. "Blood sacrifice? … Kinky."

"I'm serious,” Yuri whined, punching his fists into his knees, followed by tucking his head into them.

"So am I!" Victor grinned once again as he tried to laugh at the other’s sad attempt at hiding his head. "As long as you let me lick your wound...Paid in Full as far as I'm concerned."

"Gross. Not funny,” came the muffled reply.

“But you laughed; I heard it,” Victor quipped.

Yuri looked up, pulling his head out of his lap and sitting up like a proper person having a conversation. “Dammit. I need to know why you’re letting me…have you…to myself even though I don’t have the means to pay you for even one full date. I-I feel like I’m…taking advantage or something.”

Huffing, Victor ran both hands through his silver hair. "Okay, okay. Firstly, as you should know, I don’t do what I don’t want to do so you aren’t taking advantage, and secondly, you are fucking adorable, and I enjoy your company much more than I should. I want to spend time with you too and I can't, in good conscience, charge you for that when I persuade you to come to my condo. Something, by the way, that I should not keep doing, but I thought you'd feel more comfortable in a home rather than some dank hourly rate motel." He snorted at the thought of Yuri looking past his shoulders, making sure no one saw, before entering a run-down place like he was breaking the law. "I want to see you." Victor paused, rubbing his temples. “That’s the truth…”

"You’re too caring and sweet for an escort,” Yuri replied, sounding more sad than accusatory.

"I don’t know why you think people of my profession can’t be just as wonderful as anyone else, but I assure you, we can be. Making people think they are the center of my world, even for a short while, is my job. Appearing loving _is_ in the job description. It just happens to be real with you." Victor rose to gather the used cups and plates, putting them back in the basket. "I'm sorry. I can't control how I feel, though I'm trying. Yes, I am essentially an actor, but this is not all an act; I enjoy being with you."

Yuri reached out to stop the hand that was going for his napkin. Smoothing the cool skin with his fingers, he took Victor’s palm and put it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the softness. “I really like spending time with you too. As you said, probably too much.” Victor stumbled backward as Yuri pushed him up against a post and claimed his mouth. Tongue and teeth clattered as Yuri lead, deepening the kiss, moaning as he tasted the escort’s mouth. Releasing the reddened lips with a smack, he continued. “Despite our confessions…as bad of an idea as it may be…when can I see you again? It may be wrong, but I’m trying not to think right now.” Yuri’s voice was desperate and unsure; he wasn’t used to being even a little bit forceful.

“Fri-day,” Victor fumbled the word as he stole another kiss. “You can come over Friday. Good?”

Yuri hummed over Victor’s mouth. “Perfect, that’s my birthday.”

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please fasten your seat belts; we have some slight turbulence ahead. There are no emergency exits—we will go down this ship—while using airline terminology.
> 
> Thank you and have a pleasant reading experience. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 

* * *

 

Victor twirled one of the spent candles between his fingers as he checked his phone for the time. Glancing up, he sighed—calming breaths but no talking.

“Yuri, if you wanted to exercise after that huge piece of cake I have a much more fun idea instead of wearing a hole in my carpet as you pace back and forth for…oh…about five minutes now.”

Yuri paused for a second, running a hand through his hair before he started again—still no conversation.

Blue eyes followed the movement before he took aim—missing wouldn’t be a very effective stopping mechanism.

The fretting man didn’t notice the candle soaring through the air until it beamed him in the temple.

“Hey!” Yuri batted his hair where he felt the wax brush past. Victor earned a mean look, but it was mission accomplished—Yuri finally stopped, folding his arms around himself as a cute little frown formed on his lips.

“Good. You’ve stopped. Now, you’ve been acting distracted this entire afternoon. If I wouldn’t know better, I’d almost say you want to tell me something but you’re terrified to do so.” Pausing, Victor straightened up as he wedged a cushion behind his back—just in case he was attacked for what was about to come out of his mouth. Pillows make great weapons after all.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” He was hoping he would be able to get the question out without so much as a smirk, but he failed with a snort. “Because…that would be like…miraculous shit right there. Plus, we used condoms every time—even that one time in the coffee shop bath…”

“Don’t you even bring up that little escapade.” Yuri interrupted. “It was temporary insanity, okay?”

Chuckling, Victor commented under his breath, “Yeah, insanity for my cock. I’m not the one that ordered a mid-shift _double whip, extra cream special_ …so…don’t get all mad at me…”

Putting his hands on his hips, Yuri huffed, “I want to ask you something serious but, yes, I’m scared—I don’t know if I should…and here you are joking.”

“Joking is how I relieve stress…sometimes…well…not really…mostly it’s…” Victor put his hands up, “Never mind. Anyway, if you’re that afraid then the answer would probably be,  _don_ _’t ask,_ but now I’m dying to know what’s got your panties in a bunch. I’m right here. Ask, Birthday Boy. Or, sit on my lap so I can give you _my_ present.”

Yuri rolled his eyes before closing them and pinching the bridge of his nose, taking his glasses off completely—somehow it was easier if you didn’t see the person clearly when asking something inappropriate or embarrassing.

Flipping the glasses over and over in his hands, Yuri confessed his desires.

“I want to have sex with you—with-without a condom.” He started rubbing his upper arms to distract himself from the crushing anxiety and pressure he was bringing down on himself as he continued. “It’s stupid but…I don’t think I’ll ever…um…trust anyone as much as you and I want to feel…the…it in-inside me. Just once.” Yuri held his head down, ashamed for what he was feeling and for what he asked. He thought his chest was going to burst as he heard—silence—painful silence. It was a bad sign, and he was afraid to put his glasses back on and look Victor in the face.

Confusion forced him to look up and put his eyes back on. As much as the silence hurt, what came next was worse. Laughter. Victor was doubled over, lying on his side laughing his ass off.

“I’m-I’m sorry! I’m not…” Victor covered his mouth, sitting back up on the sofa as he tried to contain his outburst when he saw a tear streak down the other’s face. “Oh, fuck, don’t cry! I’m not laughing _at_ you. I just…I just…oh shit…” He snorted back another giggle.

“I just wondered how long it was going to take you to ask me that question to my face.”

“Huh…? What?” Yuri’s mouth was hanging open in shock. “…to your face…?”

Victor nodded as he opened his arms, waving the other to sit in his lap. As Yuri reluctantly took a seat next to him instead, Victor reached for his phone, opening the email app. Putting a comforting arm around Yuri, he asked, “You…don’t remember…the email? Really?”

The horror that crossed Yuri’s face was priceless. “Email? Oh God…what email? When?”

Victor scrolled through until he found it. “It was…about a month or so ago—a bit after your Date-o-Vomit.”

Yuri covered his face with his hands as Victor continued, unable to hold back a few extra snickers. “You forwarded me a copy of your negative STI panel…”

“No!” Yuri wailed.

“Oh, yes, you did—see?” Victor opened the attachment, showing it to Yuri, but he refused to look. Patting his arm, Victor couldn’t help but continue. “Oh, it gets better! You also added the helpful caption of, and I quote, ‘com inside me Victor!’

“I think I’m gonna vomit right now…” Yuri tried to get up, but Victor yanked him back down.

“Let me go! I JUST WANNA CRAWL IN A HOLE A DIE!!!!”

Victor grinned, eyes sparkling with mirth. “You spelled come wrong…AND…you ended the heartfelt woo with a little poop emoji.”

Yuri grabbed his chest, his face falling into Victor’s lap. “I can’t breathe! Can’t breathe! Oh, god! No! Kill me NOW!

Taking a sip of the wine he had next to him, Victor choked up in another fit of laughter. “If you got your damn face outta my crotch you could breathe just fine. You’re not gonna find any sympathy down there—it likes the idea.”

“Ahhhh…shut up….busy dying here…” And more muffled sounds came from the buried head.

Victor combed his fingers through Yuri’s hair as he tried to coax him out of his lap. "Yuri, honey…” He whispered, “Next time you're asking someone to put their dick in your ass raw…you… _might_ want to reconsider the poop emoji." Yuri growled as he came up from his hiding spot at the kissy face and noises Victor was giving him.

"Easy now…just, you know, a thought…for next time… _I_ _’m just sayin’…_ "

Yuri frowned and felt the arms loosen, allowing him to jump up. “...I hate you.... No next times. Jesus, fuck…I’m just…I’m going. I’m freaking embarrassed, and I’m leaving. This is why I shouldn’t drink—ever.”

"Yeah, you’re embarrassed…now. You’ll look back on this and laugh to yourself one day. _Really! —_ Or, you know…maybe… _not_.”

Crossing his arms and shaking his head, ‘No,’ Yuri moved in reach of the front door.

“I have to give you credit though. It's the most unique way I've seen to get me into bed without protection. Very bold of you, Yuri. I have to say, I'm kinda proud—sex in a stall in one thing but this…" He whistled as he arched his eyebrows. “Damn.” Victor still had a few chuckles in him.

Yuri was red from his neck to his ears; grabbing his coat, he went for the door. It slammed shut just as quick as he opened it; he was in shock as his back met the cool surface of the wood and a knee positioned directly at his groin.

"You ask me something like that, and you want to run away after?" Victor pinned him with his eyes alone. Nose to nose, he could feel the unsteady breath on his skin. “I don’t think so.”

Yuri couldn’t tell by Victor’s expression if it was anger, disappointment, or something entirely different that caused his current trapped predicament and he barely heard when he’d said—his mind was focused on escaping not listening. A streak of self-induced fear caused him to shudder when Victor continued, leaning in so close the man’s lips ghosted over an ear. “That can be a dangerous proposition. Did you know asking that sort of thing of an escort service will you get thrown out and blacklisted? Did you know that, Yuri?”

Yuri shook his head in a panic, "No…No...I-I'm sorry. I didn't. I swear, I didn’t."

“Shhh…” Victor cooed. “You’re trembling—don’t be afraid.” Yuri continued to stand by the door as he was released and Victor stepped back. He figured he may as well be next to the door if he was about to be thrown out on his ass. He closed his eyes as he felt Victor’s arm brush past, touching the doorknob. _This was it. Happy fucking Birthday and goodbye. Once again, I ruin everything good in my life._

The click of the lock caused Yuri to flinch. _Locked? He just locked it?_ Not understanding, Yuri met Victor’s gaze; he didn’t sense hostility but was cautious—like he could ever read people.

Yuri was motionless as a lingering kiss was placed in the center of his forehead. He felt the warm lips move as Victor uttered the last thing he thought he would hear.

“It’s a good thing I don’t work for an escort service then.” Victor smirked as he glanced down to see Yuri’s pupils dilate as he left the statement hanging in the air for a split second. “I make my own rules—did you forget already?”

The confusion and the beginnings of a question on Yuri’s lips had Victor explaining before ideas of “conned,” “liar,” and “used,” popped into Yuri’s head.

“Wait…” Victor put a finger to Yuri’s mouth before he could speak. “The original number you called was my old escort service from years ago—they recommend me if they think a caller will need _special_ _handling_ but I’m independent now, which means _I_ make the decisions and keep what I make. They want easy transactions; I don’t mind putting in the extra work to help those that truly need what I offer, so they don’t see it as competition.” He paused, contemplating a way to ensure Yuri understood.

“Think of it like Hosts from your country. Except—I admit that I do “between the sheets” _if_ it’s needed or wanted and if I’m comfortable with it.”

Victor gave Yuri’s nose a peck and let the other have some space between them. “One more thing,” he licked his lips, “before you get crazy ideas—no, you were not and are not a charity case that I felt sorry for.”

Yuri was silent for a moment, unsure how to process it all. “So…ah…um…you’re not…going to throw me out the door?” He was able to get out after a few false starts and clearing his throat.

Brushing back his hair, Victor smiled—a tender heart-shaped grin. “No. I’m not going to do that to you. Besides, how can I come in your ass if it’s out there?” Victor rubbed his chin as Yuri looked at him with his mouth agape. “Well…unless you’re into public sex, but I don’t feel like getting arrested.”

Yuri tried so hard, so very hard to prevent himself from being affected by such an ill-timed joke. It wasn’t funny—it _shouldn_ _’t_ have been funny. He looked away, but the upturned smirking corner couldn’t be hidden. “You’re doing it again, dammit.”

“Laughter _is_ the best way to diffuse a tense situation.”

“Your laughter is what got us into this in the first place,” Yuri quipped.

“Ha! No, _your_ drunken antics is what lead us here. I sure hope you don’t make a habit of emailing escorts for some risky fucking when sloshed because _that_ could end your life in the long run,” chided Victor with a goofy grin on his face.

“No—I’m not an idiot—at least I hope not. You’re one hundred percent the only one that I’ve been with.”

Smiling, Victor crooked a finger toward Yuri and sauntered into the kitchen, getting out two shot glasses and a clear bottle. He lined up two shots of vodka on the counter, picking up one and putting it to Yuri’s lips when he met him on the tile.

“That’s good because you’re about to get a little tipsy and receive a _very_ _unsafe_ birthday present.” Victor poured the burning liquid down Yuri’s throat, then downed one himself.

“Vi-Victor, it’s not unsafe if we’re both clear…”

If Yuri wasn’t intoxicated by the high proof vodka, he was going to be by the possessive alcohol tainted kiss as Victor’s tongue pushed in as far as it could manage. Letting him go, Victor snickered as he took Yuri by the hand toward the bedroom. “Shush—don’t ruin the fantasy—we’re living dangerously here…”

The comment combined with the booze caused Yuri’s skin to flush; he giggled—it helped relax him slightly, but there wasn’t enough alcohol in him to stop his burdened mind. In his heart, he wished the night to come would be the one to last forever because everyone knows; there aren’t happy endings when _professionals_ are involved—particularly with losers like him—at least that’s what the anxiety said. He snuggled into Victor’s back as he was dragged down the hall. At least for tonight, he would live in the moment and enjoy every sinful pleasure his lover would offer.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, maybe I had a bit too much fun with this one...I thought both Victor's and Yuri's actions fit the characters well while still being kinda plausible. I hope you enjoyed it, though it was a tad short.
> 
> (And, public service announcement: I do not condone unsafe actions like these. A clear panel doesn't necessarily mean you're free of infections/diseases as it depends on your last risky encounter and when you took the test. Don't play with fire--do it enough and it'll kill ya.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long to get this one out--it hurt a little bit. lol The feelings you'll read got a little personal. Hugs for our two sweethearts, Yuri and Victor!
> 
> Enjoy! <3

 

* * *

 

Beads of sweat rolled off his muscled skin as he tossed and turned. Sleep was hard to come by these days. After a few moans and heavy breaths, Victor awoke, throwing his covers to the side. He was sticky not just from the perspiration but from a pool of thick dampness that had collected in his navel; it felt gross as it trickled down his side when he moved to turn on the light.

3:45am.

Muttering curses, Victor reached over to the other side of the bed, yanking the opposite side’s sheets and wiping himself off. It wasn’t the first time he awoke from a wet dream depicting his night of bliss with the one and only Yuri Katsuki. The same Yuri Katsuki who had been strangely silent for two weeks straight after they shared a blissful condomless night.

Victor shuttered as he fluffed the pillow behind his head. The dream was just as vivid as the night it happened.

How Yuri glistened from above, soaked in sweat as he rode Victor’s cock for everything it was worth. Victor digging his fingers into those chiseled hips while Yuri screamed, climaxing after a hard jab to his prostate as the escort emptied himself into his body. Yuri curling up in the fetal position, not wanting to lose his lover’s essence then Victor trying to hide a laugh when Yuri squeaked in surprise, experiencing the cooling substance trickling out for the first time down his thigh. And Victor chastising himself as he proceeded to roll the man over and fill him a second time, using the excuse of ‘just helping out and replacing what was spilled.’

The memories danced in his head like a movie he couldn’t stop watching. He saw Yuri’s epic fail of attempting to covertly push the come back inside himself and the beautiful blush that crept up on the other’s face after Victor suggested a remedy to the problem at hand.

 

*****

"But Yuri, you look so enchanting with your legs spread and my come leaking out of you like that.” Victor dipped a finger in the gelatinous puddle, taking a lick. “Want me to plug you? Keep it inside?”

Yuri’s eyes darted back and forth, he hummed as he nibbled a reddened lip as he thought about having something like _that_ inside him.

“It won’t hurt,” Victor reassured. “It’ll just keep you full of me for a while longer.”

Nodding sheepishly, Yuri agreed as his mind wrapped itself around the idea of being able to have Victor seep inside his walls. He giggled just thinking about it—it was immensely erotic.

Victor talked as he worked, sliding in the jelly plug until the flared base was flush against Yuri’s puffy hole. "How does it feel?" Victor moved up to kiss up his bare shoulder while his hand stayed to wiggle the toy. "To have that locking my burning seed inside you?"

Yuri groaned in response, cuddling into the soft sheets. "Warm and..."

"Wet?"

Yuri snickered. "Yes, very very wet."

"Good. I'll take great pleasure in thinking about the cute little noises you'll make as I trickle down your legs when you take the plug out later."

Rising, Victor went to the en-suite, taking a handtowel off the rack and tossing it at Yuri as he got back to the bed.

"A towel...why...?" Yuri asked as Victor's smirk grew wider. "And why are you staring at me like that...it's creepy."

Hopping on the bed, he laughed. "You're gonna need that considering I made two very enjoyable deposits tonight—take it with you—just in case. I didn’t need any extra lube for the plug just so you know—that’s all my _personal_ _brand_ inside you."

Yuri grumbled, feeling the said plug shift as he changed positions on the bed, feeling it push in deeper as he flipped on his back.

"What? I couldn't help it! You were so open and inviting. I didn't hear you protesting as you scratched the shit out of my back trying to push me in deeper as I came for the second time."

“You know…” Victor took Yuri’s hand, rubbing it before kissing the knuckles. "I'd love to see what kind of mess you make as you pour out of me one day."

Yuri’s head popped up, but he only stared at the beautiful man before him. He didn’t know what to do with the blatant invitation as he’d never thought of being allowed to be a top before. Being shy and already dealing with performance anxiety among other things, he’d assumed he always be a receiver, taking what future lovers offered him and being grateful for it. Victor took in Yuri’s deer-in-headlights expression.

“Don’t look so worried and stunned. Forget I said anything; I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Not everyone is a swi…”

“I wanna do it…I’ll do it…,” Yuri blurted out. “I mean, I don’t know, if we still are…um…never mind. I didn’t mean to comment…it just…came out.” He covered his head with the edge of the blanket, muttering to himself about being embarrassed.

Sliding the covers down, Victor turned Yuri’s face to capture his lips. “No worries. No pressure. Like I said, forget it.” Turning toward the glowing numbers, he padded Yuri’s ass, telling him he probably wanted to get going soon so he wouldn’t fall asleep while driving. Yuri agreed—after a few more snuggles. The younger man didn’t want to let go; Victor felt desperate squeezes to his midsection as Yuri turned and buried his head in his chest. A calming breath escaped the younger man’s lips as Victor’s arm came up to embrace him just as fiercely.

 ***** 

 

Victor sighed as the reel came to an end, feeling the familiar ache in his groin, the memories conjuring his want—his need for the other man. He stroked himself in silence, just wanting the hard on to subside; there was no reason to fully enjoy the stroking—the comforting warmth, the sweet smell distinctly Yuri—was missing.

After cleaning off a second time that night, Victor struggled to find sleep. Tossing and turning, finally watching a bit of TV allowed him to catch a few hours rest before a message alert startled him awake. _Yuri!? Fuck, finally he responded!_ Clearing the sleep from his eyes, Victor grabbed his phone, swiping at the screen to view the text.

            _??? / <<  Hey, sexy. I wanna make sure u will b at my 21 party tomorrow. Don_ _’t b l8—my girlz expecting my hottie bf to be there._

It was a client, but not the one he wanted.  

“Fuck!” Victor yelled between clenched teeth. He _hated_ parties—especially girls’ birthday parties. They tended to pay well but he always ended up having to put a halt to the drunk females’ antics. It was always either girls thinking he was a stripper or a free ride for everyone to grope and flirt with as much as they wanted. He felt a wave of nausea just thinking about the bullshit that he’d dealt with in the past.

                  _Dmitry / >>  Yes. Party starts at 10—I_ _’ll be there at 9:30. Cash up front, no sex, no drugs as discussed._

After receiving a reply with a ‘fine kk’ and a frowny face, Victor threw the phone across the bed before getting up and stomping to the bathroom, cussing. “The shit I do for work…I swear!” He slammed the bathroom door and started the shower after glancing at the clock. It was already noon—he’d slept in way past what he should have and still felt as if he hadn’t slept a wink. “I am not in the mood to deal with fucking bitches! I quit goddammit!” He grumbled as the lukewarm water touched his skin. It was going to be a _long_ day—today and tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

Victor sat in his car, staring at the apartment complex. He was supposed to be picking up his suit at the dry cleaners, but instead, his car managed to drive directly to Yuri’s address instead. Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, he wondered what he’d say without sounding like a creeper. He already probably sounded obsessed after sending all those messages despite never receiving even one reply. Victor knew he should move on—so he was used and discarded—nothing new there. This was different, however. He felt for Yuri and thought that Yuri had felt for him. _After consenting to the kid_ _’s risky proposal, he stops communicating?_ Victor started to worry after the first week went by and now it was the second week. Even if he had the door slammed in his face it would be worth it; he would know Yuri was at least safe and well.

After running his hands through his hair a few times and checking his face in the mirror, Victor stepped out and headed for the door, praying that Yuri wouldn’t look through the peephole and ignore him or send him away.

After a few knocks, the door creaked opened revealing a short olive-skinned man with hair standing up every which way. The man looked at his uninvited guest with red, tired eyes.

"You're, um, Phichit, right? I'm Victor, remember? From before?" Victor stammered, acting like a nervous boy with a crush.

Phichit nodded, waving the man inside. "Yeah," he yawned, "Come in before all my heat disappears."

Stepping in, Victor rattled off an explanation of why he showed up unannounced while Phichit dug out a coffee mug from the dishwasher.

"I'm sorry, it might be forward of me to show up here, but I got worried...Yuri isn't answering my texts or calls. Is he okay?" He bit his lip as he rung his hands. "I've been trying not to be concerned but..."

Putting both elbows on the counter, Phichit looked Victor up and down before speaking, a forlorn look on his face. "Yuri's gone. Man, he's be gone for...like two weeks I think. Back home."

"Gone? Without..." Victor's face fell as he fidgeted with the phone in his pocket. "Wow. I just—thought—"

Phichit took a sip of coffee, choking on it with a cough. "Bah, I'd offer you some coffee, but this tastes like shit. Damn Yuri, leaving me with no in-house barista."

He started again, less playful this time. Victor was hurting; even Phichit could see that. "I'm sorry...for Yuri." Strolling over he patted Victor's shoulder, "Come on, sit for a bit, will you?"

Victor grabbed a stray pillow as he sat, hugging it tightly as Phichit settled across from him, tucking his feet under himself, rolling the cup in his hands.

"Why?"

The question hung in the air; Phichit didn't know if he should answer it—if he even knew how. His best friend up and left, saying it was time to go back to Japan, that he'd already been mulling it around, but Phichit knew better even without the full story.

"He's terrified, Victor—of you. He likes you..." Phichit paused, rubbing his chin. "Maybe _like_ isn't the right word because I know he feels more than that...and it scares him. You like him too, so that makes it worse."

Victor shook his head. "I don't get it. Why is that bad? It's mutual."

"So you say." Phichit tapped a finger to his temple. "It's all in Yuri's head, you see...you say you like him too, his head tells him it's bullshit. He tells himself he is falling for you and his head tells him to get real—A hot looking catch like you wouldn't want a fucked up loser like him."

Sinking further into the couch, Victor couldn't wrap his brain around it. "That doesn't make sense. I'm telling him the truth."

Phichit shrugged. "No, it doesn't make sense—that's anxiety for you. I'm telling you, in his mind, he thinks he's doing you a favor or some shit—pushing you away to save you because as soon as you know the real him, you'll leave anyway. It’s selfishness too—trying to save himself the pain as well."

"How did you know...?" Victor asked, trying to get as much closure as he could from the only person that knew Yuri better than anyone.

"That he's doing that? He does it all the time. He tried it with me—wanting to be my friend then saying some stupid shit about how he can't do this or something. I don't remember exactly, but I didn't let him get away with it. He needed a friend, and I wanted one, and by God, we were going to be fuckin’ friends. I told his anxiety to go piss off—I wasn’t leaving him to shrivel up on himself alone so his head can tell him he was right all along—that he's not worth it to anyone."

"I don't know if I can...damn, this is..." Victor didn’t understand—couldn’t understand how someone could twist their own feelings and what someone else had said so dramatically from reality.

Phichit took another sip of coffee, nodding and making a face at the much too dark liquid. "You can. You have. You can do it again if you want to—if you’re willing to take the hard road. He told me about what you did— _Bitch slap_ I think are the words he used. He needs more of that. I'm not saying to hurt him, but sometimes he needs a forceful hand. It doesn’t always work, but it’s better than letting him self-destruct."

Pausing, Phichit realized what he’d said, raising a hand, he clarified, "I'm not saying to like...force him, force him...like if he doesn't want it, please God, don't rape him or something, but if you're willing to put up with his shit, he needs to know that you will not let his disease win—that you aren’t going anywhere. But you have to mean it; be ready for the long haul. Yuri needs someone to take control sometimes—when he can’t trust his own thoughts. You know when you see those self-help books tell you to ‘trust your gut’?”

Victor nodded, squeezing the square pillow tighter.

“Well, he can’t do that. He cannot trust what his ‘gut’ or ‘intuition’ is telling him. It’s because most of the time it’s not himself talking—it’s the anxiety. It’s like some monster takes over his thoughts and convinces him that all his fears and doubts are true. You say you want to spend time with him? You like or love him? No. It’s just a way for you to pitty him. He knows you laugh at how shitty he is in bed every single time he leaves your condo. That’s what the disease can convince him of—I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Phichit sighed before continuing, praying and hoping that it wouldn’t blow up in his face that he was sharing such personal, intimate details of his friend with a virtual stranger. But he knew Yuri and he the man in front of him needed to know him too.

“When it gets really bad, and he starts imploding, you need to be his rock—you need to make him understand that you are in control—not him—not his anxiety—YOU. If he trusts you—if he loves you—he will usually submit. Sometimes being there for him involves holding him, rocking him in the middle of the night while he completely loses it—crying until he can’t anymore—letting him release all the horrible thoughts in his head—no matter how much it hurts you. The thoughts that go through him can be painful to hear at times and just because he verbalizes it does not mean he necessarily believes what he's saying. I know it's confusing and it probably sounds a little dom-ish for your part, but with the severe anxiety and issues he has, he needs to feel…to know…you are stronger than he is, that you can take it and will be the wall that is unwavering. This is what it means to love Yuri."

Looking up, Victor chuckled. "He needs a backhand to the face?"

"Yep, backhand to the face," Phichit nodded, putting a hand to hold up his chin. "Figuratively of course."

"Of course."

"And...let’s be honest...you have to see how your job scares the shit outta him. Why would you want someone like him when you can get whoever you want—look how many people you are intimate with. You can get much better ass with a lot less stress involved elsewhere."

"Those are his words, not mine," he followed.

"Because he's real, he’s sweet; he’s fucking gorgeous—need I go on? He's not once tried flatter me and appear bigger and better than he is. He freaks out, goes in for the kill, and then runs away...but goddammit I can see a spark in him sometimes. It's like he wants more from me, but then he takes off—literally this time."

Victor grumbled, slamming his head into the softness behind him. "I know, falling for a client is bad...like really, really bad. I've never done it before; always kept my head about me if I start having feelings, but him..."

"Ya fell for the ass-backward charm, did you?" Phichit laughed. "Seriously, though, he's not a bad guy...just emotional...confused? He’s completely smitten with you. I told him he was a dumbass when he first mentioned the idea of losing his virginity. A sensitive like him...thinking he can let some guy inside him and not feel a thing for the man? Uh huh, righttt…

"It could have turned out worse...for him anyway. You could have been a jackass, not so charming and rip out his heart and stomp on it while making fun of his pathetic-ness,” Phichit mused.

"Instead he did it to me."

Phichit was quick to defend his friend. "Dude, he cried when he left...mumbling about how it's better to let the fantasy go. Oh," Getting up Phichit grabbed a box off the end table, tossing it to Victor. "He left this for you...thinking you may stop by after he rudely ignored you like an ass hat."

Victor turned the small box over in his hands before opening it. Inside was a letter and a roll of hundreds. "Wow, insulting much?" he blurted out.

Phichit peeked up to see. "Damn, that's like two grand or so—his whole damn savings."

Perusing the letter, Victor got the gist.

> "I'm sorry. If I'm honest with myself, I want more from you than I should have, so I need to let you go. This is at least part of what I should have paid you. Please forgive me, I'm messed up and not good enough for you. You know that. I’ll never be able to express my gratitude properly for the experiences you've given me. I’m so sorry for making you pretend for so long."  —Y

Victor launched up from the sofa. "Oh, no, he can't end...well...whatever it was we had...like this!"

Phichit scratched his head. "Dick move, Yuri." He couldn't help himself, standing on tiptoes he read a few lines. "So...he's madly in love with you...but...he can't believe you'd be the same?  Got it—typical Yuri." He huffed. "I care for the man like a brother, but he's an idiot. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care for him—duh."

"This pushing and pulling is beyond maddening. Trusting me with his body but not believing me when I've said I like him too? I even—without a—" Victor held Phichit’s eyes, searching for an answer that wasn’t there.

"I know! Doesn't make sense. Yuri doesn't make sense. Why do you think he's been a virgin this long? I'm surprised he's opened up this much to you despite him thinking it's all an act at times. He's so fickle—he can trust you with his life and then accuse you of bullshitting him in the same sentence—that bipolar shithead.”

“Is he? Bipolar I mean?” Victor questioned.

“Nah. [Depression](https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/depression)—Yes. Major [Anxiety](https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/anxiety)—Yes. But not [bipolar](https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/bipolar-disorder), he swings way too quickly for that and doesn’t have deep highs and lows. I always thought he was more [Borderline](https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder), but I know his doctors didn’t wanna touch that diagnosis. So…he’s just…Yuri. Yuri Katsuki—the man who would declare his love one day and convince himself you hate him the next if he got the notion in his head that he wasn’t worthy of your feelings.”

“Insane.”

“Yep,” Phichit replied, yawning once more.

"Shit, I’m sorry. You want to go back to bed…seems like you had a hard night being asleep still at this hour. I've taken up too much of your time already. Thanks, Phichit...for this," he held up the box, "and the talk."

"Yeah, Phichit rubbed the back of his head, "If—when— he finds out all I told you, he's gonna kill me, but like it or not, despite the reasons, you two were intimately involved. You deserve to know what you're dealing with. I felt it wasn't my place to just...what...warn you? But now, you've come to me, so...fuck it."

"Thanks." Victor tried to smile as he started to walk away toward the door, box in hand.

"Hey," Phichit called out.

“Hm?” Victor turned his head, hand on the doorknob.

"Fukuoka Prefecture."

"What?" Victor asked, knitting his brows.

"Not the city, the prefecture." Phichit laughed, picking up his cup. "Figure it out. I didn’t say a damn thing.” Winking, Phichit waved as Victor opened the door. “Ganbatte, Vikutoru!”

Phichit couldn’t stop the snickering as the door closed with a click, hiding the confused look on Victor’s face. Oh, he was so a dead man, but he’d have an accomplice, that’s for sure. Checking the time on his phone, he grinned. He’d have to wait a while before he could call Momma #2 and let her in on the possible conspiracy to come.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh...someone's meddling...
> 
> Let's hope Phichit knows his friend better than his friend knows himself. (Note that I added some lines into Phichit's talk to make it more clear of what he's trying to convey.)
> 
> Will Victor do anything with the information he was given? Was Phichit in the wrong for what he did or was it justified because he was just trying to help?


	9. Chapter 9

 

* * *

 

The box sitting innocently on Victor’s desk was like a neon sign reminding him of who _wasn_ _’t_ calling and who _wasn_ _’t_ coming over.

After coming home from Phichit’s apartment he stormed into his condo, slamming the door with such force a picture crashed to the ground. Throwing his freshly dry-cleaned suit on the back of the sofa, he went to his room to bury the box that infuriated him in the back of the walk-in closet. It only took a few short minutes for Victor to march back in and dig it out, plopping himself at his desk to stare at the container as if it had all the answers. This was the routine for days.

Come home from a job. Shower. Stare at the box. Throw said box at the wall a few times. Go to bed. Repeat.

Tonight was different, however. Victor came home from a draining charity event full of rich snobs that swore to your face their only desire was to save children from hunger—all while they dined on thousand dollar caviar and nearly swam in Dom Pérignon. It made him sick to his stomach watching the slideshow of starving children while the donors patted themselves on the back at what a good deed they were doing with a toast of champagne that probably would buy two hundred kids a meal per bottle. He was agitated and somber at the thought of spending yet another night alone without anyone to take his mind off things. Granted, he had offers—many offers, yet turned each of them down. When he had a client, it was all business and no play, coming straight home after and sex was _always_ out of the question these days.

Trying to relax, Victor rummaged in the kitchen, finding an old chocolate bar he kept for _emergencies_ and a bottle of Zyr Vodka, also saved for _emergencies._ He felt it was going to be _that kind of night_ as he took the haul to his office. Popping the top off the bottle, he put the cold glass to his lips, inhaling the sharp scent of his favorite Russian vodka. He halted as the acid-like concoction touched his lips, thinking better of it; running to the kitchen again to grab a shot glass. He knew from experience, the stuff was powerful and would knock him on his ass into incoherence in a heartbeat. Moderation would be better—safer.

After three shots and a mouthful of chocolate, Victor was feeling flush as he took hold of his phone, swiping it open to his client contact list. After adding a few more tabs on his browser window, he went back to the cell, typing a quick message—hitting the _Send to Group_ icon before he could think twice. The text was short and sweet, reading: “My valued clients, I will be unavailable for an undetermined amount of time due to family matters. Thank you for understanding. I’ll be in touch. —Dmitry”

Victor felt a small weight lift off his chest just by sending the text. At least, for now, he was off the hook in having to deal with clients and parties he did not want to attend. He was fortunate that he’d saved a majority of his earnings over the years, allowing him as much of a break as he needed. Setting the phone down, he typed a few things in the browser window with one hand while shoving another piece of chocolate in his face. “God, I miss eating whatever the hell I want,” he murmured as his searches populated.

The nickel and glass desk was Victor’s collection spot for paperwork, keys, and wallet, which was a good thing as he didn’t have to hunt to find a credit card or his passport. A few minutes on JAL.com and Victor was running his hands through his shower-damp silver locks, sighing as he reclined in the leather high-back. Taking a glance at the smooshed box nearby, he groaned before gobbling down the rest of the sugary treat.

“Fuck,” Victor cursed, rubbing his eyes with his palms. “What the hell am I doing?”

He clicked out of the Translate and Map tabs, the cursor still blinking near an address that read: 勝生 勇利 福岡県*.

“What, I’m a goddamn stalker now?”

Grumbling to himself, Victor was about to take Yuri’s box and throw it in the trash—minus the cash—when a text alert distracted him. Grabbing the phone, he slumped back into his chair, twirling around as he unlocked the screen.

_That_ was _not_ a good idea. Two seconds into a rotation and he was feeling queasy. Latching onto the glass desktop for support, Victor closed his eyes for a moment before looking down.

 

_Lilly/ <<  You better be running after that boy!_

_L/ <<  You know you’re like a son to me, and if he were here I’d tell him the same…Do not let someone precious get away. Sometimes we don’t have as much time as we think we do—you only live once. You’ve got it bad—a mother knows._

_Dmitry/ >>  Huh? What? How did you know????????  Psychic??????_

_L/ <<  Ha. Ha. Love the bazillion question marks._

_L/ <<  I told you and I’ve known you for a long time now, Hon. I could tell just by the way you looked at each other that night at the gallery. I may be old but I’m not dumb. You tried so hard to hide it, but your eyes gave you away—the way you looked at him. Ah, brings back memories of Henry and me!_

                        _D/ >>  lol Thank you…for not saying anything._

_L/ <<  I know you like to keep your life private—even after these years I only have a PO box. But I can tell you this…it doesn’t matter what you do for a living, you deserve real love, kid. I could tell you were down when I called a few days ago. I put 2 & 2 together. _

_L/ >>  Chase him…or no more homemade apple pies for Christmas—EVER AGAIN!_

_D/ >>  I never knew you were so hostile. Threaten me with the worst! Damn. (」゜ロ゜)」_

_L/ <<  Do as you’re told and you have nothing to worry about._

_D/ >>  I already made plans—I’m way ahead of you. ;D_

_L/ <<  First time for everything now isn’t it? Good luck, Sweetie! Text me when—if you return to work. *hugs*_

_D/ >>  You got it…and…thanks for being not just a client, but a friend too._

_L/ <<  Now you’re making me cry. Just go already._

 

Victor ended the conversation with a cute lovey emoticon—grinning like a goofball. He did love those pies. Now that Lilly mentioned it, Yuri would love them too. That thought got Victor’s brain into a tailspin of cheery Christmas images. Yuri by the tree, opening presents with a bow on top of his head—Victor piling on more until they were falling off the ends of his hair. Yuri sneaking up behind him on Christmas morning with promises of a gift only to plant his ice-cold hands on the center of his back, making him yelp and swear revenge later that night.

Turning off the computer monitor, Victor took another swig of the vodka, from the bottle this time, and headed toward his room. He was getting way ahead of himself, and he knew it. The visions dancing in his head were joyous, but reality was anything but. Victor wondered if he’d regret what he just did when he sobered up the next morning. Alcohol and despair were never a wise combination. In his inebriated state, he thanked the airlines out loud for having a twenty-four-hour free cancellation policy just for stupid-ass drunks like himself who pine after a man who disappeared without so much as a “go fuck yourself.”

If Yuri had just told him to go die in a bus fire or something similar, it would have been much easier to let go—but that is not what happened. Victor had been with a lot of people, some sexual and others not, but he knew when there was a connection and Yuri and he had a connection that burned like electricity through his veins. It scorched him, nearly singeing his heart every time they parted. Victor wondered if Yuri felt the same and bolted because it was too powerful and not with someone that was _long-term material_. It wasn’t that Victor didn’t want someone to call his own, but his job made most people very uncomfortable as it made them think he was some kind of player or sex junkie. Victor Nikiforov was anything but. He longed for someone he could tell everything to and have someone waiting for him when he got home—someone real—someone who wouldn’t judge him. He thought Yuri might be that person—maybe he was wrong.

 

* * *

 

“So, that’s it? You’re just going to take off and go back to Japan—just like that?” Phichit raised his voice as Yuri tore each shirt off its hanger with his back to the other. Pausing, he took one of the fallen hooks, twirling it around aimlessly between his hands. He wouldn’t even look at his friend.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m going home. It’s not like it’s a surprise; I’ve talked about this for months now.”

“You did, but this is still damn sudden to decide overnight without even talking with me about it! I’m you’re friend dammit!” Phichit crossed the floor in a few strides, reaching over to Yuri’s shoulder, spinning him around to face him. “Don’t act like this—” Phichit glared at the mark on Yuri’s shoulder, made visible when he yanked on the sweatshirt. His eyes followed the marred skin, seeing hints of more damage below.

“What the hell is that?” Phichit’s eyes went wide. “Is that why?” He moved to smooth a finger over the deep bruise, but Yuri flinched away. “Did he fucking hurt you!? I swear to God—”

Yuri pressed his lips in a hard line, glaring as he smacked the hovering hand. “NO!” Hiking his shirt back up, he continued. “No, he didn’t _hurt_ me, dammit. A fucking hickey is not abuse you dumbass!”

“That’s one hell of a hickey, Yuri! Jesus Christ…did I see teeth marks…?”

More clothes were piled on the bed, Yuri deciding to roll his eyes instead of honor his best friend’s stupidity with an answer.

“Fine, just ignore me. I just don’t want you hurt, okay?” Phichit walked over and pushed a pile a clothes over so he could sit on the bed.

With his head in the closet, looking for another suitcase, Yuri’s answer echoed in the nearly empty space. “I know, I know, but I’m fine. _Really_.”

Phichit wasn’t stupid. Yuri was anything _but_ fine. Someone that is _fine_ doesn’t come home one day after work and start clearing out their closet to move halfway across the world. “Yuri, please…if you’d just talk to me. If something happened…just…let me help.” Yuri continued roaming around the room, throwing things in boxes while Phichit dragged on with his incorrect assumptions. “I know you’ve done it quite a few times with that escort. He didn’t like… _give_ you anything, did he? I mean, I know you’re smart, and you’d never…without…” Phichit sighed as he rubbed his eyes, feeling the makings of a headache. “It just seems like you’re running away from something.”

Throwing a box of books he was filling on the floor, Yuri turned on his friend, pointing a finger in his direction. “Dammit, Phichit! Don’t you dare accuse Victor of giving me an STD!” He could feel himself getting emotional just thinking about the man in question. “I’m a fucking adult! If I want to move back home—I move back home. If I want a drop-dead gorgeous escort to bust a nut in my ass—he comes in my goddamn ass!” Yuri’s voice cracked as images of their lovemaking became front and center in his mind. Stepping back, he felt the wall behind him and let it catch his fall as he slid down to put his face on his knees. “Dammit,” Yuri sniffed deeply, willing the sadness back in. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Phichit, oh God…”

Yuri let the tears flow freely as he felt the warm arms wrap around him. Phichit scooted close, rocking Yuri as he broke down in heart-wrenching sobs.

“It’s okay…just cry it out.” Swiping the hair out of his face, Phichit grabbed a clean sock from the floor to dab the tears. “Here,” he patted Yuri’s back, “take this to wipe your eyes.” Yuri grabbed the cloth, clearing his face while breathing heavily to gain composure.

“That’s what’s been on your mind. So, you let him come inside you, huh?” Yuri nodded, glanced at his friend then looking way. “Yuriii...why would you do that? You know how dangerous that is…”

“I know! Don’t lecture me like a child. I know he was clean. And _I_ wanted it—I didn’t _allow_ him to do anything. Fuck, it’s just…”

“It’s just…?” Phichit encouraged, rubbing circles in the the tense muscles of Yuri’s neck, resting his head against the other’s.

Yuri dropped his head again, running fingers through his hair. “It’s just…I fucking loved it okay? I wanted more—so much more. Phichit, you don’t understand—I want that man coming in me…forever.”

“I get it. You want him—you love him?”

Pulling his head away and tucking his arms over his shaky knees, Yuri responded without a hint of indecisiveness that usually accompanied his answers and remarks.

“Yes. I love everything about him—his accent, his laugh, his skin, even his smell. Most people wouldn’t have even bothered with me, but him—he sought me out, wanted to just hang out with me. He even cared enough to put a stop to my self-loathing rant. The man fucking brought me home and tucked me into bed after I puked all over from drinking too much. He’s…damn; he’s perfect.”

Phichit had to chuckle. He best friend was in love, and it was hitting him hard. “So, then why the hell are you crying? I mean, it’s not an ideal set up, but nothing is truly perfect. Normally, I’d kick your ass for that risky shit, but that can be done later.” Leaning over, he gave Yuri a bear hug. “You should be happy not crying your eyes out, packing up your stuff, and running _away_ from loverboy.”

Pushing himself off the wall, Yuri got up and started to throw random things in boxes once again, talking as he went. “Are you kidding me? He doesn’t love me. I’m some borderline, depressed, anxiety-ridden annoyance.”

“He said that? He called you an ‘annoyance’?” Phichit took the pants Yuri was folding again and again out of his hands. “Yuri? Did he tell you that or did the anxiety?”

Yuri looked down, crossing his arms around himself. “He thinks it every time he flashes that million-dollar escort smile. He’s an actor; it’s what he does.”

Phichit plopped in the desk chair, suddenly feeling exhausted. “This is one of those times where you need to listen to me.” He snapped his fingers to get Yuri’s attention. “Look at me.” Yuri rolled his head to the side, looking at Phichit with a frown. “If he didn’t tell you that directly then don’t…”

“Stop,” Yuri cut him off. “I’ve made my decision. I’m not playing this stupid game anymore. It hurts too much. Please, let me have some peace to pack.”

“But, Yuri, you’re—”

“Leave. Please. Nothing you say is changing my mind this time.” Yuri spat. He couldn’t let Phichit convince him; he knew what was better for Victor…and himself. Didn’t he?

Phichit tried to talk sense into the man for over an hour, but this time Yuri was the most pig-headed he’d ever been, refusing to listen to reason. He was in agony, and to him, the easiest way to get rid of it was to run and run far until the object of the torture was so far away it wouldn’t matter any longer. He’d always had that instant fight or flight sensation when he was scared, confused, or unsure and it always led him to the same conclusion—flight. Every time.

Yuri tried to convince himself after each box was taped that he was doing the right thing. Phichit gave up the lectures and pleas, leaving with a slam of Yuri’s door and another echoing from the front of the apartment. Yuri was alone in his painful confusion. Everything had turned out perfectly—for the anxiety that is. Phichit gave up on him, and Victor was lying to him. He knew it was true all along—no one _really_ cared enough to make him see that the stabbing in his heart was a warning that what he was doing was unquestioningly the _wrong_ decision. Nothing would get better in Japan, he knew it, but the monster swept those silly thoughts aside as soon as they made an appearance.

 

* * *

 

Victor stared at the colored lines intently as his brain tried to work out the correct path. _Maybe if I stare at it long enough, it_ _’ll just pop out at me…right?_  Hordes of people rushed past, some taking a glance at the stunning American standing in front of the ticket machine looking lost and terrified. Checking the printed address again, he tried to match up any of the symbols but saw nothing that looked alike. Frustrated, he folded up his note and headed to a nearby bench to sulk.

“Ano…eh…help? Need…help?” A young girl, not more than sixteen craned her neck to look up at Victor’s defeated expression.

“Um, yes! God, yes! I need to get here.” Victor fished out his crinkled note and showed it to the girl, pointing to all the kanji on the page. “I just followed the crowd down here from Arrivals. I don’t know if I need a train or taxi or...” He ran his fingers through his silver hair, nervous as he had no idea if the teenager knew what he was saying.

“Ah…hai, hai. Itoshima-shi. Kuko-sen to Chikuhi-sen*. The girl waved Victor over to the large train and subway map, pointing to the orange and red lines that read, 空港線* and 筑肥線*. “This,” she said as she tapped the maze of color that looked absolutely nonsense to Victor.

Victor bowed a little too far, earning him a chuckle. Pulling the bills out he exchanged at the airport, he moved to put money in the machine, but it wouldn’t take it. Hearing a sigh, the girl extended her hand for Victor to give her the bills. The man watched on, impressed as her fast fingers flipped through screens, hitting buttons that looked random to him. After about a minute, following the money deposit, tickets spit out of the little chute below. The kind girl collected the change and tickets, offering them to Victor with both hands, then showed him the way to the entry gate. Flashing her a stunning heart-shaped smile, Victor turned and thanked her again after going through the wicket. She waved enthusiastically with a bright blush on her face, hidden in a flash as she bowed before Victor disappeared behind a pillar.

Settling into a free seat, Victor put his carry-on next to him and instantly collapsed, his head falling back with a sigh. “Shit. Thank God for that girl—I’d have been there for days just staring at the map like an idiot,” he muttered, closing his eyes to ease a sudden headache. “I made it here—let’s hope this wasn’t the biggest mistake of my life. Jesus, I can’t believe I did this. I’m in Japan—chasing after a ghost.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, these two love birds!!!
> 
> It's very sad and frustrating what Yuri has done--to himself and to Victor. I feel for both of them and can totally relate to Yuri's "I love you, I hate you" and "I love you, but you hate me" behavior. We know it's not logical but it's hard to ignore what your own mind is telling you at times. I'd think it's more frustrating for Yuri than it is for Victor, yet it seems just the opposite to the other person.
> 
> I have to say, I so love Lilly's character. You'll be hearing her story in a side one-shot later. She's been through a lot and calls Dmitry (Victor) her 'other' son.
> 
> As always, I love to hear from you, so tell me what ya think if you'd like. Or say hello over on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/myfujoshilife/).
> 
> * * *
> 
> 勝生 勇利 福岡県 = Katsuki Yuuri Fukuoka Prefecture
> 
> Ah…hai, hai. Itoshima-shi. Kuko-sen to Chikuhi-sen. = Ah, yes! Itoshima City. Kuko Line and Chikuhi Line.
> 
> 空港線 = Kuko Line
> 
> 筑肥線 = Chikuhi Line


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...
> 
> Victor's in Japan and on his way to some answers!  
> 

 

* * *

 

The door popped open as the taxi came to a stop. “Are you… _sure_ this is Yuri Katsuki’s address?” Victor asked as he took in the two-story wooden faceted structure. “It-it looks like a little castle.”

The driver chuckled at Victor’s reluctance, but smiled and nodded just the same.

Victor looked down at his app once more. “Katsuki Yuuri…um…koko?*”

"Hai, hai. Katsuki Yuuri-san—imasu.* Yes, yes.” The driver was quick to retrieve the luggage and accepted his payment with a bow. Victor stood in the street as he watched the cab drive away. He’d hoped he wasn’t just dropped off at the wrong address. It would be hard to explain to a random family why he was at their doorstep with a bag when they most likely wouldn’t understand English or Russian for that matter.

The carry-on rolled to a stop as Victor pulled out his crumpled letter with Yuri’s name on it. At least some of the symbols on the page seemed to match the plaque on the side of the home. _Here goes nothin_ _’._   Three sharp knocks and he stepped back, hoping he wasn’t about to make a complete fool of himself.

A sweet looking lady with round glasses and dark hair cut into a bob opened the door. “Hai?*”

This, he wasn’t expecting. Victor had assumed that Yuri would be living alone or possibly with a roommate—not his parents. If he was at the correct house, the lady was probably not a roommate and seemed too old to be a girlfriend. The only other conclusion was—mother. Victor was staring at Yuri Katsuki’s mother. The more he stared, mouth slightly open, the more he recognized the features. The roundness of her face, the curve of her lips, the beautiful hint of caramel coloring in her eyes. It was clear where Yuri got his stunning features. Victor’s senses came back to him as she cleared her throat, feeling uncomfortable as an uninvited guest stood in her doorway without saying a word.

“Oh god,” Victor muttered. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to... I am, uh, looking for Yuri. Yuri Katsuki?” She giggled at the awkward way Victor tried to bow, smiling at him after checking her cell phone for a second time.

“Yuuri-kun…uchi no musuko?*” She rattled off as she waived Victor inside, stopping him as he moved to walk up the small step, pointing to his shoes.

“Off,” the woman instructed.

Victor did as he was told, accepting the slippers he was offered. Looking around as he put on the house shoes, he noticed no one else seemed to be in the house, but assumed there could be people upstairs. It just struck him as odd that a woman would answer the door and then let in a stranger without anyone else being home. It seemed like a dangerous thing to do from his perspective; he could be a crazy foreigner for all she knew. And didn’t she wonder why the hell someone showed up at her door with a suitcase?

“So…Yuri is here then?” Taking off his coat, Victor folded it and sat it on top of his case.

“Un, Yuuri-kun—heya ni imasu.*” She held out her hand for Victor to take, shaking it when he did so. Pointing to herself, she said, “Hiroko,” and pointed to Victor. “Onamae wa?*”

“Oh, of course. I’m Victor.” She patted his hand, almost caressing it. “Okay…?” Victor gently took his hand back, suddenly feeling on display as Hiroko grinned at him, muttering, “Sugoi…hansamu,*” to herself as she turned toward the stairs. “Domo*.” Hiroko gestured toward the staircase, nudging him to go up. “Yuuri-kun…” she jerked her head up and to the side, “up.”

 _This is very weird._ Victor slowly made his way upstairs, feeling Hiroko’s eyes on his back, turning before he got to the last step he saw her still at the bottom of the staircase, typing something on her phone and snickering. _Something is definitely going on here_ _…_

Naturally, Victor couldn’t see what she’d typed from all the way up the stairs, but if he would have it would have put all his questions to rest. It was a simple text she sent, only a two sentences.

 

            _Hiroko/ >>  __“P—he made it here! It is your fault if my son hates me for this!”_

 

Unsettled as he was, Victor didn’t want to turn tail and run now—not after everything he’d gone through to make it to Japan. Taking a steadying breath, he went down the hall, finding only one door at the end that was closed. This had to be it. But was he ready for the consequences? Consequences that very possibly could not be in his favor. He was not invited or even given the address. Victor clasped his hands, praying this wouldn’t end with him getting thrown out on his ass or the police called for stalking.

Down on the main floor, Hiroko had her own worries.

 

                        _Phichit/ <<  __“Ma, come on! When our babies don’t listen to us…sometimes we have to take matters into our own hands right?”_

 _H/ >>  You aren_ _’t here to help deal with him if this goes bad. You’ve experienced his episodes more than me over the last several years. What if he loses it?_

 _P/ <<  He won_ _’t. I told you how he acted when he left. He didn’t want to go, but that brain of his was feeding the anxiety. If he freaks out…um…have Victor or Toshima punch him in the face??? It works._

 _H/ >> Phi! If I didn_ _’t know you better, I’d think you’re abusing my son! Always suggesting to hit him—violence is not the answer and you know it._

 _P/ << Sometimes, sadly, it is. I forced him to tell you after it happened, you know?. Late Freshman year was hell for him—I had to hit him. A busted lip was better than what he was about to finish with that knife. Speaking of_ _…he’s taking is meds right?_

 _H/ >> I don_ _’t want to relive that. And yes, I’m making sure he’s taking them despite the time difference._

 _P/ <<  Good. I don_ _’t think Victor knows Yuri was suicidal in the early days before the medicine and we wouldn’t want to scare the man away with an episode of Yuri-Gone-Mad played in in-your-face HD._

 _P/ << On the slim chance Yuri gets out of hand_ _…let Victor deal with him. Man’s gotta gift to get through to him more than anyone else, plus you saw the site pictures—that man is ripped. He could take Yuri’s squishy body down in a second. lol_

 _H/ >> Now I_ _’m scared…I should go up there. Phichit…I don’t know this man! What if he hurts him? This was a bad idea…I shouldn’t have done this behind his back. I’m a horrible mother…_

 _P/ << Now you_ _’re starting to sound like Yuri. Chill. Let them be. Yuri is family to me and I don’t want him hurt either, Ma. You love him and you’re doing what he couldn’t do for himself._

 _P/ << Yeah, I may be going to hell for putting the idea in Victor_ _’s head to go get his man, but so what. Victor makes Yuri happier than I’ve ever seen him. Yuri ran scared and we both know it._

 _P/ << Yuri_ _’s had too much unhappiness in his life. Don’t go up there. Let Victor work his magic. He’s a good guy, Hiroko. Yuri needs someone strong in his life. Let them work it out—please—for Yuri’s sake?_

 _H/ >>  Fine. But if I think he_ _’s hurting my baby I’m going up there. I don’t care how gorgeous he his._

 _P/ >>  Feel better? Gettin it all out there?_

_H/ >>  Yes, a little._

_P/ >> Please, don_ _’t jump to conclusions. Hehehe, now I know where Yuri gets it from. RELAX._

_P/ >>  Trust the Escort. Believe in the Escort._

_H/ >>  Ha ha ha. Thinking about what he does makes it worse_ _…_

 _H/ >>  I_ _’m trusting you Phi and that man—with my son’s life here. I hope you’re right._

Hiroko hugged herself, looking up the stairs one last time before pocketing her phone and going into the kitchen for some tea. This was a scary endeavor, and she already regretted what may come of it. What if Yuri never trusted her again? Trust was hard to come by with him at times, and here she blatantly went behind his back on the excuse of “I’m your parent, and your best friend and I know what _hopefully_ is better for you.” She closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against the cold counter stop as she heard a door knock from the second floor.

 

* * *

 

“Hai! Chotto matte kudasai, Okaasan!*” Yuri called out right before a crash of something heavy. “Shit! Ah…just a sec!”

“Okaasan?*" The door opened just enough for Yuri’s head to pop out.

“Victor!!! What the hell are you doing in my house!”

Putting his hands up to defend himself, he tried to explain. “Well, I’m here since you—”

“I’m in Japan! Here is Japan.” Yuri couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept as he locked eyes with a man he thought he’d never see again in his life.

Victor nodded, trying not to grin. “Yes. You aren’t dreaming. This is Japan. You are here. I am here.”

The door slammed in Victor’s face, causing him to back up.

“I can…ah…draw you a map? Like….with a little red arrow…’We are here,’” Victor called out. He couldn’t help it; it was a defense mechanism.

The door flew open this time.

Victor stumbled forward as his shirt was grabbed and he was yanked into the room and twirled around to fall against the bed. The slam of the bedroom door hurt his altitude sensitive ears.

“You followed me, Victor? You fucking followed me here—over six thousand miles away!” Yuri was pacing, fingers pulling at his hair. Stopping for a moment, he glared at Victor. “HOW did you follow me!? WHY?”

Lifting up and settling himself to sit on the edge of the bed, Victor fixed his own hair before raising his reddened eyes to meet piercing cocoa. “You left without saying a word. I was worried, so I went to your apartment—talked with Phichit. _I_ _’m_ the one that needed to know WHY! Plus…you left something back in the US, and I was returning it.”

Crossing his arms, Yuri tapped his foot impatiently. “Really now? And what is _that_? What did I leave that was sooo important?”

“Me!” Victor shouted as he bolted up, coming toward the shorter man. “You left me without an explanation or warning. I thought I did something wrong or feared that you were just using me for sex and had no feelings whatsoever toward me. I, however, felt and still feel for you.” Yuri backed up, hitting a wall as Victor closed in, caging him with shaky arms. “I may be just a whore to you, but I have feelings just like anyone else. If you felt nothing, you should have told me and not run away leaving me in confusion. You hired me for a job at first, yes, but…I just…I just thought we were growing into something more. The way you acted, I thought you felt it too.”

It was clear that Yuri was holding back his tears when he spoke, voice cracking as he choked out the words. “Nothing…you think…I felt nothing for you, and I did this to, what, hurt you?” Victor nodded but didn’t interrupt. “I felt the exact opposite. I felt too much! Victor, have you even looked in the mirror or listened to yourself speak? You are so out of my league; I was falling so hard for you, and we had nothing even in common. I wanted you, but I couldn’t have you. You were doing a job, and I fell for your charms—stupid me. It was a fantasy I had to let go of…and I couldn’t do that if you were so close within reach.”

Yuri hesitantly wiped the single tear that slid down Victor’s cheek, keeping his palm rested against the flushed skin. “You’re sweet to fly all the way here, but Victor…I’m not worth it. I’ve got so many issues,” he tapped his head for emphasis,” up here—you don’t even know the half of it. You don’t want that in your life.” Yuri lifted his hands, palms, and fingers facing himself. “You don’t want the added stress of mental illness that is me. Trust me—I don’t want me.”

Victor’s hand slid down the wall to gently rest on Yuri’s shoulders, rubbing in circles with his thumbs until he had the right words.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.” Victor paused, wetting his lips. “Do not tell me what I can’t do and do not tell me what I want.”

Yuri dipped his head, but Victor’s booming voice had him locking eyes with the other a moment later.

“I want you, Yuri Katsuki. Is that clear enough for you? That includes your brain, your issues, your past, your present, and your future. I’ve never met anyone like you, and you are special to me.” Victor shrugged, laughing as he continued. “I mean, you have to be, you’re the only person in the world that actually volunteered to watch old sappy movies with me. When I called you that one time in the middle of the night with a fever, you were the first person I thought of who would get up out of your warm bed and bring me some medicine. I want you and your beautiful soul. You’re worth so much more than I can describe and you need to start seeing that for yourself.”

Patting Victor’s cheek, Yuri cracked a smile amidst the tears he didn’t remember crying.

“Did you just quote a song?*”

“Maybe…”

Yuri’s hands ran up Victor’s sweater-clad forearms. “Well…I don’t want just anyone to hold either. And, I kinda like your pretty face...”

“Now who’s being cheesy quoting a song?”

“You do this every time Victor. How do you break down my walls like this? I told myself that you were acting and didn’t give a shit about me and it was all in my head that you were interested. And now, here you are, in front of me and my heart won’t stop beating like it’s going to jump out of my chest.”

“It is all in your head, Sweetie. I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t _more_ than interested. I’ve had weeks to think about missing you and a whole fourteen-hour plane ride to decide if I’m ready for this. I’m ready for the long haul and…”

“Victor? Are you alright? You’re…swaying a bit there.” Yuri’s hands were all over him, checking his forehead, feeling his cheeks. “You don’t feel warm.”

Stumbling over to the bed, Victor flopped down on his back, groaning. “Ugh, I’m sorry. Jet lag..is…catching up…with a…vengence. I was so pumped up getting here and talking to you…it didn’t hit me…until just now.” A loud yawn escaped his lips. “I had all these wonderful things I wanted to say—to make you understand. Dammit, Yuri, I lo—”

“…Zzz…zz…”

“You’re…snoring? You literally just fell asleep in the middle of an argument?” Yuri chuckled as his eyes raked over the man spread across his bed. “Hey,” Yuri smacked his cheek a few times,” you’re not gonna sleep well in those winter clothes. Get up. Plus, we have some talking to do.”

Victor fought with Yuri half asleep, grumbling that talking could be done later, and the clothing was fine—despite the beads of sweat that were already collecting on his neck.  Taking it upon himself, Yuri stripped him, ignoring the minor protests, throwing all the clothes aside from his boxers in a corner pile. After a few grunting shoves, Yuri was able to get him all the way on the bed and facing the wall, leaving lots of space between his body and the edge of the bed to prevent falling if he tossed and turned.

Yuri shook his head, rolling his eyes as he shook out a light blanket and draped it over the nearly naked man. “You are unbelievable, Victor,” he whispered. “I wanted to be so mad at you—for what—enjoying my company? It would have been easier to forget how much I cared about you if I hated you. And now look what you’ve done. You don’t know how many nights I woke up wishing that you’d just show up here with flowers or something. And here you are.” Sweeping the hair out of Victor’s face, Yuri leaned over and placed a kiss on his temple. “Remind me to thank Phichit. That meddling little shithead knows me way too well—its terrifying. I just hope you feel the same after you know my story.”

 

* * *

 

“Everything alright, Dear?” Hiroko looked up from her book as she reclined in a chair, following Yuri’s movements down the flight of stairs.

“You’re on my list too, Mother,” Yuri pointed in her direction as he got closer, plopping down next to her.

She couldn’t hide the grin. It had to be good news; Yuri wasn’t yelling, crying, or cussing up a storm—yet. “I have no idea what you mean. And I taught you better than to point at people—it’s rude.”

“Oh…you know exactly what I mean. You don’t just randomly invite strangers in the house to let them loose, roaming the halls upstairs. Plus, Phichit _always_ has accomplices.”

Putting her book down, Hiroko draped an arm around her son, hugging him close. “You know I love you and I want you to be happy.” She ruffled his hair a bit, kissing into the dark mass of strands. “Phi filled me in, and I agreed. You love this man—despite what he does? And he loves you?”

Nodding, Yuri cuddled into his Mom’s warmth, resting his head in the crook of her arm. “Yeah, I do. The job is…an issue.”

“And he loves you too?” Hiroko could feel the shrug. “Give me your first guess—before your anxiety gets to twist it. What is it—does he love you back?”

“I think so…maybe…yes,” Yuri answered quickly but felt his mind conjuring up untruths as soon as the words left his mouth.

Hiroko rubbled soothingly down his arm. “I’d say that’s a definite yes. Who in the hell would come halfway across the world to find you, even after what you did to him if he didn’t care about you—if he didn’t love you? That’s not even mentioning the sheer challenge of getting here to Itoshima. The courage to make the leap in the first place. The cost of flights. The language barrier alone would stop most from even bothering.”

“Mom…” Yuri sniffed. “he doesn’t know how bad it can get, even with the meds. He doesn’t know about the suicide attempt. Momma, he’s gonna take off—think I’m crazy—realize he doesn’t have to deal with this shit.”

“Oh baby, shhh…” Yuri’s mother rocked him in her arms like she did when he was younger and having a fit. Running her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp always seemed to calm him quicker than comforting words.

“I don’t know him, and from what I gather, you haven’t known him all that long either, but from what I’ve seen…he’s already gone so far out of his comfort zone for you. You owe it to him to lay yourself at his feet—ask for forgiveness. Let him see you, all of you. Let _him_ decide his feelings and _not_ your anxiety.”

Yuri murmured something unintelligible but didn’t speak up to argue with her point. He knew she was right.

“Hon, relationships are never perfect. There will be days when you’re so in love it makes you blush just thinking about it, and there will be others where you are doubting every decision you’ve made that led you to your significant other. You communicate, no matter how much it hurts. You let him guide you when you can’t do it yourself.”

Locking eyes with his mother, Yuri finally responded, raw and uneasy. “I’m scared.”

That smile of hers got him to do the same, no matter how down he was feeling. “That’s normal, Yuri. It’s scary to bear your soul to someone. Someone that has the power to judge you, to destroy you. But that’s the caveat. You have to relinquish that power if you want to experience such a deep love from another person that isn’t a parent. Plus, they should open up to you too. I guarantee there are things about Victor that you don’t know. I’m not saying that to spike your fears; it’s a natural progression to learn more about someone over time.”

Yuri curled into his mother more as he listened to her soothing voice.

“If you’re right for each other, you shouldn’t fear the vulnerability but embrace it. You’ve got to let Victor see your scars—even the literal ones. You want him to love you, and you love him in return? Trust him and allow him to trust you. Your past doesn’t matter, you deserve love no matter what.”

“The sane part of me knows all this but thank you for reinforcing it, Mom.” Yuri rose, kissing her on the cheek. “I guess I’ll check out the guest room since he crashed in mine—it’s getting late.”

“Why, it _is_ your room?” Hiroko questioned.

“Well, because…you know…it’s…”

Hiroko broke out into a laugh, covering her face with the book. “Ha! Kiddo, you’re twenty-five years old and…Phichit has a big mouth. I know you’ve slept together already. Go to your room if you want. Just…please…be careful and remember these are thin walls.”

“MOM!” Yuri put his hands on his hears. “You know nothing! La la la la.”

“Your mother knows all…wait…on second thought—I don’t want that mental picture. Nope, I don’t know a thing. Goodnight; going back to my book now.” Hiroko waved him off to go back upstairs as she giggled at his hilarious reaction. “Love you…”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really got me. I can relate so much to Yuri's fear of letting himself be seen...really seen. Yuri's ashamed of what he did in the past and it hurts to even think about showing Victor his scars. They've been together so many times but Victor never noticed--they're hard to spot unless you knowingly look for them.
> 
> Yuri's terrified that his scars and past are only things Victor will see once they are pointed out. He's not even thinking about Victor's past--he doesn't know anything about his childhood or even how he became an escort. Maybe Victor is thinking the same; everyone is terrified of their own skeletons coming to light.
> 
> Sometimes you just need your Momma to tell you like it is. Yuri's got support all around him, even though he feels he battles alone. :(
> 
> I was worried about the long conversation via text between Hiroko and Phichit, but I thought it really hit home to how much love surrounds Yuri.
> 
> * * *
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: I will be on an international trip for two weeks coming up. I apologize; there probably won't be any updates until after Dec 1. <3
> 
> * * *
> 
> “Katsuki Yuuri…um…koko?” (Katsuki Yuuri…is…here?)  
> "Hai, hai. Katsuki Yuuri-san—imasu. (Yes, Yes. Katusi Yuuri. Here.)  
> “Hai?” (Yes?)  
> “Yuuri-kun…uchi no musuko?” (Yuri…my son?)  
> “Un, Yuuri-kun wa—heya ni imasu.” (Yeah, Yuri—he's in his room.)  
> “Onamae wa?” (And your name?)  
> “Sugoi…hansamu,” (Wow…he’s handsome…)  
> “Domo.” (It’s like please, go ahead.)  
> “Hai! Chotto matte kudasai, Okaasan!” (Yeah! Just a minute, Mom.)  
> “Okaasan?” (Mom?)
> 
> Song reference: "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me this long to get this out to you! I made it extra long to make up for it. 
> 
> My international trip didn't go as illness-free as I'd hoped so it took some meds and lots of rest to heal so I could get back to 100%.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. It contains some lemony goodness and also a bit of shocker near the end.
> 
> (Note: Mention of suicide is referenced in this chapter.)

 

* * *

 

 

Victor’s eyes fluttered open at the sensation. _…Earthquake?_

He didn’t move until his mind came entirely into the present, even then only moving his hand a few inches to clear the sleep out of his eyes. The gentle shaking was still evident—but it wasn’t coming from all around. It was coming from behind, where, now that he thought about it could feel a presence.

_This_ was _not_ an earthquake.

Listening carefully, still unmoving, Victor concentrated on the sound of heavy breathing. It was muted, but now that he was awake, the sound was unmistakable. He remembered where he was, so logically there was only one person that could be behind him—in bed—huffing and moaning softly. A grin spread across his face as he felt a brush against his ass. The touch was very brief, seemingly unintentional as the bed started to shake more violently. Victor grew hard in his boxers as he pictured his heart’s desire desperately trying to be discreet as he enjoyed himself, unknowing that his bedmate was now wide awake and listening intently.

“Accosting me in my sleep? Yuri! So many sides of you I’m just now seeing,” Victor whispered, his head turning slightly toward the sounds.

Yuri gasped, jerking his body away from Victor on instinct without thinking about where he was—on a small bed without any extra room to move freely.

Quick thinking had Victor turning around in an instant, cupping his hand around Yuri’s head as it came within inches of connecting with the corner of the bedside table.

“Yuri!” Victor shouted between his teeth as he tried to keep his voice down while he cradled Yuri’s head to his chest, fingers tangled into the mass of dark hair. “You almost cracked your head open on the nightstand—this bed isn’t that big to be wiggling around.” Chuckling, Victor let the other go after he scooted close to the opposite end of the bed, ensuring Yuri wouldn’t nearly fall a second time.

Yuri couldn’t do anything but stare at Victor for the first few seconds, mouth agape and face as red as a ripened tomato. “I…um…I thought you were…oh god…this isn’t…”

Victor laid on his side as he listened to the adorable blubbering, unable to contain his smile as he propped his head up with a hand. “If you’re going to tell me, ‘This isn’t what it looks like,’ you, my dear Yuri, are a liar and caught red-handed.” He paused, looking down at Yuri’s comforter covered body, licking his lips as he met the other’s eyes. “Hands?”

Cocking his head, Yuri raised an eyebrow, questioning his request. “Huh?”

Victor unabashedly adjusted himself under the covers before it became uncomfortable, grinning at Yuri the entire time. “I said… Let. Me. See. Your. Hands. Now.”

After a little rustling under the covers, one hand peeked up above the duvet. The rays streaming through a break in the curtains gave Yuri’s _not-so-secret_ secret away as the wetness glistened off his palm and fingertips.

Victor nodded, clicking his tongue. “I see one. I know yesterday you had two of them.”

Groaning, Yuri cast his eyes downward, whining, “Victorrr…”

Victor wasn’t trying to be mean; he was simply having too much fun—arousing fun. He was going to make this a tad painful for Yuri since the man dared to disappear without notice and then masturbate next to the person he unceremoniously dumped while said person was sleeping. Victor could tell by Yuri’s face that he wasn’t sure if he was about to get yelled at, punched, or kicked out of the room. Despite the fact that the pair only knew each other for a few months, Victor sensed Yuri’s anxiety was attacking him ruthlessly about now. “Just a little bit more,” Victor thought. “Then I’ll have you feeling so good you won’t remember why you were embarrassed.”

Clearing the sweaty bangs out of Yuri’s face, Victor made his request again. “Come on…out with it…”

Once again the covers rustled, more toward the edge of the bed facing the room this time. Yuri’s face scrunched up as he wiggled beneath the comforter. After a few moments another hand emerged, but it wasn’t alone.

Turning his grin into an exaggerated pout, Victor shook his head. “Ah…so…not only are you a shit for ghosting me, you are also a little thief.”

Yuri was at a loss for words once more. He _was_ an ass and a thief—wasn’t he? After what he’d done?

Reaching over, Victor placed a sweet kiss on Yuri’s forehead before plucking the blue jelly plug out of his hand. “Honestly, baby, do you think everything that goes in your ass belongs to you?” Yuri started to defend himself but was cut off as Victor continued his train of thought. “Well…actually, I guess you’re right considering the only things that have been _in_ your ass are this toy and _me_. I technically didn’t ask for the plug back and let’s be truthful—we both know I’m smitten with you and am wrapped around your shaky little fingers.”

Yuri’s breath hitched. “H-how can you say that—after what I did?”

Sliding over, Victor embraced Yuri, smoothing one hand down his back while the other carefully held out the toy to prevent lube from getting everywhere. His answer came between licks and nips to Yuri’s collarbone. “I…still…care about…you immensely. And we… _will_ …talk about…that…later.” Releasing his neck, Victor captured Yuri’s lips, sliding a tongue inside without resistance. Leaving Yuri’s lips red and glistening, he focused his attention on the toy, collecting the copious amounts of lubricant off the shaft and sticking the toy’s base to the bedside table.

“As nice as these things can be…how about the real thing? I’m rock hard from that little show of yours.”

“Turn around,” Victor whispered, nibbling Yuri’s ear.

Yuri turned slowly, hesitantly, as he settled himself on his left side. “I don’t…I don’t know if we should. I mean, considering…”

Victor kissed up the column of Yuri’s neck, feeling him relax as one hand rested on his hip. “This won’t obligate you into anything, Yuri. It’s just sex—just as we’ve done so many times before.”

“Um, well, I-I don’t have a condom,” Yuri stuttered, internally chastising himself. He wanted this so badly, and here he had to go and be responsible.

“Does it matter?” Victor asked without a hint of hesitation.

“It-it should…”

“I haven’t been with anyone since you,” Victor replied, repeating what he’d said again. “Does. It. Matter?” He tried to keep his voice low and sensual, but it was difficult. He wanted so badly to be inside the man he'd been pining after for weeks now.

“N-no. I guess it doesn’t,” Yuri responded in a whisper, feeling Victor shuffle as he removed his boxers, leaving them under the covers somewhere. He moaned as he felt Victor’s hand run down his chest. The other’s slicked cock rubbed between his cheeks easily. Yuri probably _had_ used a bit _too much_ lube on the plug it seemed.

Lifting his leg, Yuri rested it on top of Victor’s thigh to give him better access. As Victor rubbed against his hole, Yuri blurted out before it was too late. “Wait!” Victor halted his moments instantly.

“Cover my mouth.”

Victor hummed questioningly at the odd request.

“I don’t want anyone to hear, so please…cover my mouth.” Yuri had to chuckle at himself. “You…you know how loud I can get sometimes…”

Victor nuzzled his nose into the soft fringes of Yuri’s hairline, inhaling deeply. “Mmm…do I. With pleasure—any other desires before I bury myself? You’re covered in lube—I’m going in one push, so you better talk quickly.” He grabbed himself roughly. “I _need_ to be inside you…” More kisses rained down Yuri’s back as Victor impatiently waited for permission to enter.”

Taking Victor’s hand and putting it on his right hip, Yuri let out a sigh as he prepared himself, relaxing all his muscles. “Only one—don’t pull out.” Pushing back, he muttered that he was ready, turning and reaching to kiss Victor’s shoulder.

Victor stroked himself a few times and lined himself up, the other hand tightening its grip on Yuri’s hipbone. Leaning forward he sucked on Yuri’s earlobe before whispering, “I never pull out—especially out of you, Sweetheart.”

Yuri didn’t have time to respond as a firm hand clamped down on his mouth. He groaned into the digits as he felt the burn and quick stretch of being fully entered in one powerful thrust of Victor’s hips. Harsh breaths came out of his nose as his body tried to acclimate to the girth that was now inside of him. Victor didn’t move, giving his lover time for the burning to subside. More than anything he wanted to move and pound into the flesh that he missed so much for weeks, but it wasn’t so bad being able to relish in the heat as Yuri’s insides accommodated his girth.

The sounds of slapping skin echoed in the quiet room as Victor and Yuri became entangled in one another. Yuri pulling himself off Victor’s cock and Victor grasping his hips to slam him back down as hard as he could. Yuri’s mouth was covered for about five minutes before Victor gave into his need to pinch Yuri’s nipples and run his hands down his stretched body. Neither man could completely control the wanton sounds escaping their mouths. It crossed Yuri’s mind once or twice how little soundproofing their house had and how embarrassed he was going to be when he ventured downstairs later. Pleas escaped his mouth directly after the thought. Embarrassment be damned. All that mattered at the moment was how amazing he felt when Victor angled his cock to rub him just the way he liked it.

Victor took a hold of Yuri’s dick, pumping it with fast strokes, as his forceful thrusts became erratic. “Ugh…Yuri…I…” He gasped as he snapped his hips so hard Yuri almost went over the side of the bed. “Coming! Now…gah…”

Just hearing Victor’s pants and sudden admission had Yuri climaxing hard right along with him. Reaching up, he grabbed Victor by the hair and pulled him down for a deep kiss as the warmth trickled down a thigh. He felt Victor shift, attempting to get even deeper as he continued his release. Maybe it was because they hadn’t had sex in weeks, but Yuri couldn’t remember when Victor ever orgasmed this long. Yuri’s climax was over as Victor was still pushing his hips little by little, finally slowing to a stop as he sucked a welt on Yuri’s upper back.

“Oh, fuck,” Victor groaned, his balls feeling like they had been freed from a punishing vice that kept them constricted. “I-I don’t think I’ve ever came that much before.” Reaching down, he felt around where they were connected and chuckled. “Feel it? I’m already leaking out of you.”

Yuri moaned in response, clenching his walls as he muttered, “All mine.”

“Mmm…now you’re milking me? Jesus, Yuri, you already have all of it—that’s several weeks worth I’ve left in your care.”

“Yeah…” Yuri replied in a strained, quiet voice. Victor’s words reminded him of how long they’d been apart, and it hurt. It hurt because he was the reason that caused it all. Victor wouldn’t have had to _suffer_ if it wasn’t for him. He should have been overjoyed that the man he cared for, the man he loved, traveled so far to find him and now they’d just had spectacular sex, but he wasn’t. Yuri’s post-orgasmic glow was wearing off, making him come back to reality.

“I…um…better get dressed and go shower. You can take the one up here, and I can go downstairs.” Yuri pushed himself up, reaching for his glasses on the nightstand. He started to rise off the bed, but a hand stopped him.

Kissing Yuri’s exposed lower back, Victor’s voice came out smooth and playful despite him feeling the sudden shift in Yuri’s demeanor. “Or…we could shower together?” He started to nuzzle into the curve, but a second later it was gone. Yuri was already searching for his pants.

“No, I should shower by myself.”

It pained Yuri to see the defeated look on Victor’s face as the man’s expression turned sad, so he followed up with, “Not that I wouldn’t want to shower with you. It’s just…the shower…it’s a little small…for two.” As soon as the lie escaped his mouth, he knew it wasn’t good enough.

“Sure…okay…” Victor nodded as he too got up to find clothes. “We need to talk anyway, so I guess it’s best to clear our heads away from each other for a bit.” Yuri agreed, slinging a shirt over his shoulder.

The pair went in opposite directions as they exited the room, Victor heading for the second bath next door to Yuri’s room and Yuri moving toward the stairs to use the main bathroom. They didn’t speak again until an hour later after they’d had time to clean up and a moment to collect their thoughts.

Meeting near the front door, Yuri called out to his mom as he pocketed his keys. “Okaasan, I’m going out to show Victor around. Ittekimasu.”

They heard, “Itterasshai!” from somewhere in the kitchen as Victor opened the door to leave.

 

* * *

 

The drive around town was quiet, Yuri only speaking when he wanted to point out some of his favorite places along the way. Victor took in the scenery out the window, marveling at some of the small cars and even tinier streets. Yuri earned a side glance as he took Victor’s hand in his own, resting them on the console as more houses whizzed past.

“I’m sorry. I know my actions must be confusing as hell.” Yuri smiled as he felt a thumb brush over his knuckles. Without looking over, he continued as the car slowed, pulling into a parking area next to a concrete staircase. “There’s something I need to tell you-to show you, Victor and honestly I’m scared as hell. My anxiety keeps trying to get me to believe you will run away from me when you find out…so…I ran away instead.” Victor squeezed his hand as the sniffle came across as booming while the engine turned off. “I left so you wouldn’t get a chance to reject me—to cement the fact that I’m not good for you—or anyone really.”

“You can tell me anything,” Victor said as he and Yuri exited the car and headed to the stairs. “I’ve heard a lot of things in my line of work. You won’t scare me away.”

Yuri shrugged. “Yeah, you say that… _now_. Just wait until the fucked up shit I tell you—you’ll be stealing my phone and changing your flight home in an instant.”

Victor nudged Yuri in the shoulder, yanking on his hand to get his full attention. “I didn’t know you were psychic. Tell me, will I ever win the lottery—that I don’t play? Will I ever get another dog after my old one, Makka passed a few years ago? Will I—”

“Stop, just stop. You’re being a smartass.” Yuri’s lips drew down in a pouty frown as he glared at Victor.

“And you’re being a _dumbass_.”

Yuri hugged himself, still in full-on pout mode, as they both sat down at the wooden table that offered a stunning view of Funakoshi Bay.

“It’s beautiful here,” Victor commented as his eyes roamed the landscape, taking in the other tables and benches scattered around and the seagulls hovering over the beach.

Yuri sat across from him, picking the imaginary lint off his jacket. It was a quirk Victor noticed Yuri did when he was nervous or feeling unsure about him—he put distance between them.

“I…I’m just gonna come out and say it—so you can leave if you want.” Yuri’s tone was shaky, his words coming out quickly like a run on sentence.

“Okay,” Victor smiled as he took the hand that was resting on the dry wood. He tried not to let it bother him when the hand was drawn away, Yuri wrapping both arms around himself. “I’m listening, and you don’t have to be—”

“I tried to kill myself.”

The statement hung in the air. Yuri chewed on his bottom lip, refusing to look Victor in the eye.

“I’d cut myself on my upper arms so no one would see. It stopped helping. It got bad—I took a kitchen knife to my wrists.”

Victor didn’t try to hide the tears that came to his eyes. “Oh, honey…I’m so—”

Yuri pushed up his glasses, glancing at Victor before looking down again. “You can leave now. Save your pity. I know I’m a fucking mental case.”

Leaning back, Victor couldn’t hold it in. Rubbing the back of his neck, he shook his head, and a giggle slipped out. “Yuri—”

“You think it’s funny? I guess it is pretty funny and sad that I wasn’t successful—can’t do that right either.”

“No, I don’t think it’s funny in the least. And I don’t appreciate you trying to piss me off with your words to manipulate me to get up and walk away. I laughed because I cannot believe you _actually thought_ I’d run for the hills because of this.”

“You should,” Yuri snapped as he finally sat up to once again glare in Victor’s direction. He wasn’t mad at him, but he was trying desperately to get there. He had to prepare himself for the pain of Victor abandoning him.

“I’ll ignore that comment,” Victor said as he brushed back his silver bangs. “Can I ask you something?”

Yuri reluctantly nodded. “I guess.”

“Tell me, what happens when you chase painkillers with alcohol?”

Yuri scrunched up his nose, raising an eyebrow at the question. “Huh? I-I don’t know. You’re not supposed to mix them.”

Victor scooted himself closer to the table, resting his elbows on the splintered tabletop and his chin on his hands. He waited until Yuri looked up so he could hold his gaze before elaborating.

“Fine, I’ll tell _you_ then... Depending on how much you take, of what, and how much you drink, you get your stomach pumped in the ER while your mother shrieks at the doctors around you. You feel like you need to vomit while a tube is down your throat and in your stomach extracting all the pills and booze you consumed while all you can do is lay there as your eyes water like crazy. Oh,” Victor held up a finger, shaking it, “And the best part is they put you on a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold—the first time anyway. The second time, it’s longer, and then your father gets the idea that maybe screaming at you and calling you a ‘stupid mother-fucking queer’ in Russian would be helpful.” Briefly pausing, Victor let out a curt laugh. “He almost hit me when I told him quite lucidly that I don’t fuck mothers—I fuck men.”

Victor didn’t even slow down when Yuri first put his hand over his mouth. When he finished, Yuri was pale, looking as if he’d be sick at a moment’s notice.

“God…Victor…you…you…” Putting his face in his hands, Yuri couldn’t finish his sentence. He made all these assumptions like he somehow _knew_ Victor would never be the kind of person have any darkness in his past. How could someone so stunning and charismatic ever feel as low as he did? Yuri felt stupid, asinine, and shameful.

“Yep.” Victor’s gorgeous grin sparkled in the sunlight. “Twice. I was fifteen and seventeen. I graduated school and left Russia shortly after—I haven’t returned since.”

Removing his glasses, Yuri wiped his face with the sleeves of his coat. “I’m so sorry, Victor. I’m-I’m such an asshole. I was so concerned about how you’d feel about me that I never in a million years expected you to have a dark past as I did. I-I don’t know what else to say.” Yuri grabbed Victor’s hands from across the table, squeezing them tightly. “Again, I…I’m…sorry.”

Pulling Yuri forward, Victor brought the cold hands to his lips, kissing each knuckle. “Now who’s the _mental case_?” Releasing Yuri’s hands, he straightened up. “Maybe it is _you_ that should run from _me_?” Thinking better of it, knowing Yuri’s distorting anxiety, he followed up quickly with, “Not that you should _really_ be scared, of course. I’ve gotten therapy in the states, and I’m perfectly healthy—mentally and physically.”

Yuri rose, shrugging off his jacket and folding it up on the tabletop. He walked around to Victor, stopping in front before rolling up his sleeves to his shoulders. Extending his arms, Yuri bared himself to the other.

“I’ve never openly shown these to anyone before, but my mother told me I should let you see…all of me.” Pointing to his left wrist, he traced across it with an index finger. “Here is where I almost ended it all. If it weren’t for Phichit coming in and stopping me, I would have. I was nineteen—freshman year of college. I never imagined how my mental issues would attack me at my lowest while dealing with a new country, new language, and new school. It was my worst year to date.”

Victor took the thin wrist, rubbing it with a thumb. “Hmm…I can barely see anything—you healed very well.”

Shaking his head, Yuri corrected. “No, my father—you haven’t seen him since he works a lot—insisted I put healing cream on it several times a day for months on end. He never said it, but I know he didn’t want anyone to know he had a child that was… _damaged_.”

Taking Victor’s hand, he moved it toward in the inside of his left upper arm. “This is where I cut so no one would see if I didn’t have a shirt on. Razor blades made the cuts fine, so they’d heal quickly, but I’d still feel the pain that I needed. If I couldn’t control my thoughts, at least I could control how much pain I felt physically.” He rubbed Victor’s fingers over the minute bumps. “Some you can feel, others you can’t—it depended on how upset I was at the time.”

Victor held the back of Yuri’s arm and used it to pull him close, brushing a kiss on his forehead before pressing his lips to Yuri’s mouth, kissing him gently. Pulling back from the kiss, Yuri smiled but stepped backward. Confusion crossed Victor’s face as he watched Yuri drop to his knees, pressing his arms and head all the way down to the ground. Victor noticed a couple walking toward the surf glance over as Yuri folded on the sand, seemingly giving him a sad, sympathetic look.

“Yuri…?” Victor asked as he reached down to help the other up, but Yuri swatted his hand away.

“I owe you this. If you are Japanese and you’ve done someone a grave disservice, _this_ is how you apologize—bowing the lowest possible, on your knees, forehead to the ground.”

Eyes darting all around, Victor didn’t know quite what to say. “Um…you…didn’t do anything wrong. You were just scared—”

“No.” Yuri shook his head so fiercely his hair swayed from the wind. “Anxiety isn’t always an excuse! I did a terrible thing by assuming you would never understand what I went through and made everything worse by leaving the country without even talking with you about my fears. I never gave you a chance when you have given me endless chances despite how I’ve acted over the months. You paused your life to come all the way here and find me—to get the answers I denied you. And for that, I am truly sorry. Gomenasai! Gomenasai!” Yuri choked up as he apologized profusely in his native language. “I’m so sorry, Victor…”

Reaching down and running his fingers through the now messy strands of dark hair, Victor moved his hand under Yuri’s chin, pulling up until his eyes met tearful cocoa. “I accept your apology, Yuri. Come here.” Victor opened his arms wide, Yuri taking no time jump up and wrap his arms around the other’s waist and nuzzling his face into the soft overcoat.

Yuri pulled away to kiss Victor’s chin. “That was my most shameful secret, and you know somewhat of how insanely erratic I can get. I don’t,” he wiped his face before continuing, “I don’t want a casual relationship. I need someone for the long haul and if—” A drop of wetness slid down his temple. Looking up he grumbled at the swirling clouds above while more rain littered his face.”

Victor grabbed Yuri's navy jacket from the table, tossing it to him before yanking the back of his own coat up over his head. “Let’s finish this conversation elsewhere—” A clap of thunder drowned out the end of his words. Hopping up he put an arm around Yuri and hustled them both up the concrete stairs as quickly as they could—larger raindrops pounded their backs as they ran. Victor answered the question Yuri was about to ask between the rolling thunder. “I know you don’t want—just a fling. And I know you take issue—with my job. We’ll talk when we dry out—okay?”

Nodding, Yuri agreed as a streak of lightning lit up the gray skies. Both glanced at one another and laughed, picking up their pace, taking stairs two at a time.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I have to know...were you expecting something as shocking as that admission to come out of Victor's mouth???
> 
> What'd you think of the chapter? I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it!
> 
> They still have quite a bit of talking to do since they didn't really hash anything out at all, but at least Yuri got off his chest what he feared and the reaction wasn't anything he was expecting.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in time for Christmas! Here is another longer chapter for everyone. <3
> 
> Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating!!!

 

* * *

 

“The paw print mat,” Yuri mused aloud as he hugged his knees, leaning back against the bed frame.

“Hm?” Victor replied, putting his hot cocoa down and pushing the laptop he was typing on to the side.

“When I first met you…I thought you’d have a dog or something since you had the paw welcome mat. Now I know why. I’m sorry I never bothered to ask.” Pushing his glasses up, Yuri shrugged, giving Victor a half smile. This communication thing was tough, yet he had to start somewhere.

Returning the smile, Victor scooted closer and stretched out his long legs, crossing them at the ankles. “It’s not like talking about our lives was appropriate then. I won’t hold it against you.” He chuckled. “And neither would Makka.”

Yuri rested his head on Victor’s shoulder as he listened to the story of how Makka came to be with Victor. A few years alone in a new place got to a person, and instead of getting a roommate, he chose a dog. He and the little poodle puppy became inseparable after bringing her home from the shelter, the little one’s birthplace. Yuri’s heart melted as Victor retold how the ritual of _late night-late snack_ became an almost nightly occurrence as Victor’s popularity grew as an escort. The pair had a deal—if Victor came home past two in the morning, Makka would get an extra special treat as an apology. As the years wore on the snacks got smaller since Makka kept getting larger. The little furball never once complained though; as long as she had her Victor to pounce on as he came in the door, no matter the time, she was happy.

“She sounds like a real sweetie,” Yuri commented as he rubbed Victor’s forearm when he got choked up.

Victor reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. Yuri opened the leather tri-fold and flipped through the first few pictures.

Makka curled up on the couch. Makka next to the Christmas tree with tinsel all over her head. Makka looking ashamed as trash surrounded her with a fallen trash bin in the background. And the last picture…

“Victor,” Yuri asked with a nudge. “When did you take this?” He held up the wallet’s last image—it was of himself leaning against a car window sound asleep with his fists curled up under his chin.

Bearing all his teeth in a mischievous grin, Victor nonchalantly plucked the wallet out of Yuri’s hands and put it back in his pocket. “You weren’t supposed to see that one,” he said before humming and darting his eyes around, playing completely innocent.

The next moment Victor was whining and grabbing his side, yelling as he fell over in a drama-filled display.

“Ow!!! All I took was one little picture, and you punch me in the ribs! You cruel man!”

Yuri, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, pulled him back up to sit straight. “You poor baby. If poking you with one finger in your side does that, you have bigger problems than being a perv,” Yuri cooed with a chuckle.

Gasping, Victor put his hand on his chest like he’d be hit. “It was a cute little snapshot of when you fell asleep in my car! And I am _so_ _not_ a pervert—it’s not like you were naked!”

Yuri had to smirk at the theatrics that were uniquely Victor. “You shouldn’t take pictures without permission. Do I have to read you the riot act like I did Phichit? Gah, no one may see it in your wallet but—”

“…The nudes are in the safe…”

“What!” Yuri shouted a bit too loudly.

Victor was doubled over covering his mouth so the cocoa he just sipped wouldn’t come spewing out. He couldn’t stop laughing even with Yuri’s pissed facial expression. Luckily he swallowed before his head lurched forward from the pillow to the back of his head.

“See! Now you’re getting violent. First, you get me in the ribs, and now you hit me over the head!” Reaching over he grabbed the pillow before Yuri tried to wack him with it again, sitting on it for good measure. “No pillow for you!”

“Damn, I don’t know who’s crazier— you or me. Here I am trying to talk to you and get to know you—you know, like regular people do—and you rial me up. Do you want me to have a full-blown panic attack on you? Nudes? Really, Victor? You pick topics that are sure to drive me insane with worry.”

Yuri didn’t shrug off the arm Victor put around him, but he didn’t return the kisses to his cheek either. With no reaction, Victor _naturally_ took it further.

“Holy shit! You are fucking disgusting!!!” Yuri pushed himself a few feet away toward a bookshelf as he wiped the spit off his face from his temple to his jaw.

Victor beamed. Yuri wasn’t worrying about nude pictures anymore, now was he? Mission accomplished. “Hey, at least I didn’t lick you _after_ eating out that delicious ass of yours.”

Yuri made a gagging sound at the mental image while still trying to get the gross sensation of saliva off his face. Both sweater sleeves were pulled out and scrubbing his face frantically. It didn’t help the matter that when he was finished his hair was standing in all directions and his face was flushed pink from friction.

Getting it all out of his system, Victor let him off the hook. “You know I never took nudes of you when you were sleeping, right? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons, but you get so goddamn cute.” Sighing, he repositioned himself to sit cross-legged, putting his hands on his knees. “Look…I joke about pretty much everything. Hell, I laughed yesterday about my botched suicide attempts.” He held up a hand when Yuri looked as if he was about to go into lecture mode as his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head. “ _I know_ , it’s a serious topic, and when it comes you and _your_ past attempt, THAT is something that _isn’t_ fucking funny. You will never hear me making fun of you or your issues regarding it or the anxiety—I want you to know that.”

Yuri nodded, mouthing a thank you.

“You said you wanted to get to know me, so…this is me. As messed up as it sounds, I make fun of myself for my attempts because it was a fucking asinine thing to do by a scared, bullied, hormonal _little boy_. A child that thought ending his life would make the bullies pay—make his father pay—and even make God pay for allowing him to be born a half-breed and then sticking him in a Russian school that didn’t take kindly to someone who was different.”

Taking a deep breath, Victor continued to pour his life out for Yuri—something he _never_ did for anyone. Truth be told, no one knew Victor; not even Lilly knew more than vague snippets of his past. He was and is a loner and as sad as it was, the only person he’d ever been able to be himself around _was_ Yuri. He explained that how as an adult being suave and good looking was a definite asset, especially in his chosen field of work, but as a child and then teenager it was the last thing he wanted. Being a stunning blue-eyed beauty with hair of the finest silver only made him stick out which made him an easy target for cruel bullies. The rumors about Victor being gay as he turned fourteen didn’t help matters either.

Running his hands together, he gave Yuri a half-hearted smile. “I was young. I didn’t know the boy I liked would turn on me. He snapped a picture of our first kiss and posted it all over school with the caption of ‘Vikki Nikki strikes again!’ Instead of getting sympathy at home all I got was my father yelling at me that he would not let me destroy the Nikiforov name by being a ‘cocksucker.’ My mom—she just cried in the corner with her poor attempts at curbing my father’s razor tongue.” The sniffle sounded ear-piercing as Yuri stayed silent, feeling bad once again that he made so many wrong assumptions. This man—was a survivor.

“Yeah…my father was the head of the household—the boss. I knew my mother loved me, but she just couldn’t stand up to him. I think she was disappointed too and I’ve long since forgiven her, but it still hurts. I get Christmas cards every year from her—from them. I guess it shows you how much I _truly_ let the past stay in the past considering I toss it in the trash while I put Lilly’s card up on the fridge. Speaking of…they’re probably in the PO Box right now waiting for me,” he mused.

Yuri crawled across the floor, enveloping Victor into a warm embrace. He chuckled as butterfly kisses rained down on his face before Yuri let go and sat beside him, locking their hands together.

“I’m sorry. God, once again, I feel so stupid. I thought you were perfect and perfect people don’t have problems. You never hinted at it; you were always so happy and joking around all the time. My past was tame compared to the abuse you suffered.”

Victor shook his head. “No, we’re not comparing pasts here—everyone struggles differently, and that doesn’t mean one is worse than the other. I have to take things in stride and laugh somethings off—if I don’t it could easily destroy me.” He ran his fingers down Yuri’s tear-streaked face. “I think I was drawn to you because I saw myself in you. I don’t have the anxiety, but I most certainly have a past that haunts me. With lots of therapy, a client turned friend, and a spunky dog I’m come so far from where I was when I first arrived back in the US. But…we all need someone to be there when we can’t quite beat the demons back ourselves. I want to be that person for you, Yuri.”

Yuri’s red-rimmed eyes locked with Victor’s when he squeezed both hands. “I agree, we all need someone.” Biting his lip, Yuri looked back at his bookshelf full of tattered fiction crammed in every space available before turning his gaze back to Victor. “Books can only tear you away from your issues for so long—it’s my coping mechanism, but it fails at times. Would you be…willing to marry me though?” Yuri asked the question even though he was fearful of the answer. He had to know if Victor was truly in this for, not just a long-term relationship, but for a life partner.

Grinning, Victor patted his pajama shirt and pants. “Yuri…if you are proposing…I need to get up—get dressed! Hopping up, he sat on the edge of the bed, putting a finger to his chin. “I mean, I haven’t even thought of who I’m going to invite to the wedding—if anyone. And…” He looked at Yuri, still on the floor with a smirk on his face. 

Yuri rolled his eyes once more. _Here we go…_

“Do you like chocolate cake or vanilla? I like chocolate, but if you like vanilla we can do that too. Or if you want a checkered chocolate and vanilla custom cake I’m sure we can find a baker…”

Walking over to the bookshelf, Victor ran his finger along the spines as he muttered out loud about his preferences for decorations and colors. “Oh, Yuri, we should have a book themed wedding! I mean, we both love to read—did I tell you that? Well, I do. Makka and I used to curl up in the winter and just read for hours and—”

Victor stopped as his finger crossed a badly damaged paperback novel. Turning, he glanced at Yuri, who now was up and sitting at his desk with his hand holding up his head as he listened to Victor be his over the top self.

“Yuri…you have…the book, _Never, never_?”

Yuri got up and took the book from the shelf, smiling as he did so. “Yeah, I love this book! I found it at a second-hand store, and the summary just got to me. I read it when I’m feeling down. The protagonist in the book never gives up and keeps fighting for the one he loves. I know…I sound like a girl, but it’s a good story, and it always makes me feel better to see someone fighting for what they want and eventually succeeding.”

Taking the book, Victor turned it over a few times in his hands before plopping down on the bed. He couldn’t stop looking at the cover.

Returning to his desk, Yuri sat back down and spun around a few times while Victor looked…nostalgic? “Um…you can borrow it if you want. Nice way to distract me from your little hissy about a wedding, by the way. You know what I meant—I don’t want temporary…”

Victor’s eyes darted upward but then returned to the book, waving a hand in Yuri’s direction. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I know what you meant.” His hands smoothed over the sun damaged novel, flipping through the pages and noting the little dog-ears, smiling brightly.

“You can read it if you want…really. You seem…like…memorized by it for some reason,” Yuri offered. He’d never seen Victor so taken with something before and for it to be some tattered random book—weird.

Victor flipped through the pages until he got to the title page, holding it on his thighs as he grinned and blew a kiss at Yuri. “Thanks, but, no…I don’t need to read it,” he answered before mumbling something to himself about fate.

Yuri shrugged, nodding his head to the side as he played with his sleeve. “Oh...o…kay. I mean, it’s a silly book anyway—just a story.” He tried not to sound disappointed. It was just a story—just a story that mattered to him. Who cares, right?

After pulling a few threads loose, Yuri looked back up toward Victor. His eyes went wide, shocked at what he was seeing. Victor, pen in hand—was writing in his book!

“What the hell are you doing!” Yuri shouted as he jumped from his chair. “That’s my only copy!!!”

Victor ignored him, finishing whatever he was writing before snapping the book closed. Yuri looked as if he was going to kill him.

Handing the prized tomb over toward Yuri’s shaking form, Victor explained before Yuri got really upset. He didn’t want him to cry—not from sadness anyway.

“Here,” Victor pushed the book into Yuri’s hands, “now you have the only _signed_ copy.”

“What?” Yuri flipped open the cover, looking up in confusion. “You! You—Victor!” He huffed with a stomp of his foot. “You can’t just sign an author’s name! Victor Nikiforov is not the same as Dmitry Fe-Fe-do-rov.” He struggled to pronounce the last name in his aggravation.

Victor leaned back against the wall, his feet dangling off like a giant in a tiny child’s bed. He chuckled as he steepled his long fingers. “Oh, yes I can—when I wrote it. Dmitry is my middle name. Fedorov is my Grandmother’s maiden name. I’m sure you were curious what I did before escorting.” He pointed toward the paperback now clutched in Yuri’s hands. “There you go…”

“You…w-wrote….W-WHAT?” Yuri stuttered his words. He knew what he heard but how was it possible?

“Yuri, you look so cute when you’re at a cross between confused and elated. You get this little line on your forehead—”

“WHATTTT???”

Victor sauntered over, taking the book out of Yuri’s hands and tilting his chin up for a kiss. Yuri didn’t even protest as his lips were captured, still too much in shock.”

Whispering against Yuri’s lips, Victor was unable to keep the grin at bay. “You never asked me what my degree was in. Creative Writing if you’d care to know.”

“But…but…” Yuri still couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“But what? Escorting made a hell of a lot more money than bussing tables and trying to hack it as a writer. Published authors don’t get near what you see on TV unless you are lucky enough to have a blow-up novel.” He laughed, enjoying the reality sinking in on Yuri’s face. “And you thought we had nothing in common.”

“This is just great. Now I feel even more unworthy of you!” Yuri pouted as he flung himself on his bed next to Victor’s legs, curling up with the book cuddled to his chest. “God, what else are you hiding?”

Ruffling his hair, Victor leaned over and kissed Yuri’s temple. “I didn’t hide it—I just never thought about it until I saw the book on your shelf. I barely sold a hundred copies. It was just a way to help me deal with my emotions and issues from my past; it wasn’t meant to be my one and only novel. It didn’t sell well, and I was looking for other options to make money. I saw an ad for an escort, got hired, and the rest is history.” It was his turn to roll his eyes as Yuri groaned into balled up covers.

“Oh, stop. I don’t know why you feel like _your_ unworthy—and after all the shit I told you earlier.  I’m still me. Nothing has changed.”

Wiping his face on the comforter, Yuri turned his head toward Victor. “Yeah, for you maybe. I just found out I’m sleeping with the author of one of my most favorite books. What else haven’t you told me, Victor?”

Victor swayed his head back and forth, tapping his chin in thought. “Hmm…let’s see. You already know that I’m friends with Lilly, so…” He scratched his head, thinking hard at anything else Yuri would want to know. “Oh,” he snapped his fingers,” I know! I have a big dick that hits all the right spots.”

He chuckled at Yuri’s little growl.

“Oh, you already know that…rrriiight. Aside from that fact…I um…I’m worth almost a million US dollars—on paper that is. Bet you didn’t know that one.”

Yuri lifted his head. “Are you screwing with me?”

“No, but I’d love to. Strip and you can fanboy all over me while I fuck you senseless.” Victor patted Yuri’s ass with one hand while sliding the other under him, slipping the book from his grasp. “Let’s put this somewhere safe. I wouldn’t want to have to hunt down another copy and sign it because my number one fan—my only fan—came all over it.”

Rising, Yuri took off his wool sweater, tossing it in Victor’s face. “Let me get this straight. You’re a rich escort, published author, gorgeous as fuck, and have been blessed with a stunningly _unique_ personality.  So—why the hell do you want to be with someone like me? I need to know!”

Victor leaned over and walked his fingers up Yuri’s bare stomach. “Because…you give _great_ head?”

They both cackled as Yuri launched himself up, pushing Victor down and settling on top of him. “You just won’t stop, will you?”

Yuri snuggled into the warmth of Victor’s hands as they cupped his cheeks, rubbing circles softly into the skin as his face became somber.

“Baby, I can’t give you a list of why I care for you. It’s just…a feeling, a knowing that you are the only one that I can be myself with and a craving for everything that is you. Never in my life have I allowed myself to become so emotionally exposed toward another person. If you want lists, I can give you _reasons why_ I want to spend time with you, but those are just things I enjoy not what makes my soul ache in your absence.”

Victor stopped a tear from falling as he continued to strike down Yuri’s random anxieties without even realizing it.

“I love the way you snort when you laugh so hard you cry. I love the way you make me feel when you show me a genuine smile. I love the way you surprise me with a sudden burst of boldness. I love the face you make when I release inside you.”

Closing his eyes, Yuri put his forehead to Victor’s. He was overcome and trembling as the words sunk in, causing a couple more tears to escape.

“How’s that for genuine?” Victor held Yuri as he calmed, rocking him ever so gently. “Serious can be boring to me; I’d much rather laugh and have fun, but I think you needed to hear my internal thoughts as best as I can convey them.”

“Thank you, Victor…for sharing part of your life—your thoughts—with me,” Yuri murmured as Victor switched their positions.

A few kisses dotted along Yuri’s jaw as fingers brushed along his arms. “I should thank you too. I’m honored to be given the gift of knowing your pain—it’s the only way I can help you through it. I’m thankful for you fully trusting me.”

Twisting his fingers through the silky strands, Yuri pulled Victor toward his mouth. “Today I do, tomorrow may be different. My anxiety makes it difficult but I…love you, Victor and I’m terrified you’ll get sick of it—of me.”

Yuri hummed as Victor’s fingers ran through his hair, stopping behind his ears to rub the sensitive spots below.

“Mmm…nope, I don’t think I’ll get sick of you.” A soft reassuring smile flashed across Victor’s face. “Yet, I may feel exasperated at times and upset at your disease…but not at you—at least, I’ll try not to. I’m not perfect or someone to put on a pedestal, but I will do my damnedest to soothe your fears and anxieties as best I can. And…to answer your question, yes, I would be willing to marry you—more than willing actually, considering I love you too. Everything else can be worked out as long as we _both_ are willing to commit to this—to each other and communicate no matter how difficult it may seem.”

Yuri agreed that they both needed to be on board for the turbulent future they would have if they chose to become exclusive. Yuri was already, but Victor still had his job which included sex at times.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else, you know that already,” Yuri responded as he buried his face in Victor’s armpit. It felt safer if he wasn’t looking at him. “I’m not going to give you ultimatums. With my mental issues, that’s the last thing I’d want you to do to me.”

Victor’s head popped up after hearing the question. “My job. I know, it—”

“It makes me feel inferior,” Yuri interrupted. “I’m scared you’ll be with all these amazing people and realize there are tons better than me with less stress involved. And…I’m-I’m selfish. I-I don't want to...share you—your body—with anyone else."

Victor hugged him as best he could while Yuri was tucked underneath him. “That’s all you needed to say—the truth of how you feel.”

Yuri frowned. “But I can’t tell you what to do! I don’t own you—I can’t demand you quit.”

“Funny, I don’t remember you ever asking or telling me to quit escorting. I know you don’t like it, but you never pushed it. Plus, I have a confession to make…”

Clearing his throat, Victor’s tone became serious. “I too am selfish and expect your body to belong to me as well. Despite what my current occupation is, I also do not tolerate cheating. I want us to be able to enjoy each other without fear. I never want to feel I have to use a condom with you to protect myself. I plan on never using one again with you, so you know.”

Cupping his chin, Victor ensured Yuri was all ears and looking him in the eyes. “If you'd ever subject me to that kind of risk—that's it. No second chances. You don't really love someone if you dare expose them to life-altering harm."

Yuri nodded furiously. “I-I understand and agree completely. Exclusive means exclusive—no one else. But, what about…”

“Me being a whore?" Victor finished, chuckling at his own response. “Oh, excuse me, _Professional Escort_ , I mean. Well…I guess I’m giving it up. It’s not like I need the money. Hell, maybe I could start writing again.” He put a finger to Yuri’s lips when he started to complain. “No, no…this is my decision, and I want you more than any job or person. Tell your anxiety to screw off—I’m not going to blame you later for me quitting on our first major argument or something either.”

“…So, Yuri…will you let me take care of you? Be with only you?”

Trembling hands traced up Victor’s torso, across his neck, and cupped lightly around his warm cheeks. Yuri’s breath was rapid as his heart pounded so hard it almost hurt. Victor was offering to give up what he’d known for years just to become some random mental case’s boyfriend. What the hell was he thinking? At least, those were the first thoughts that ran through Yuri’s head as he gazed into those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

“If…if I’m dreaming…I don’t want to wake up,” Yuri whispered as he lifted his mouth to meet Victor’s. “Make love to me—I’m yours.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh...what is this now...Victor isn't just some sexy escort with a sorted past??? The boy has brains! Hahaha. They had to have something in common besides sex and issues in their childhoods, right?


	13. Chapter 13

 

* * *

 

Yuri stirred as Victor kissed him on the cheek before making his way out of the bedroom. It was a little earlier than they’d usually get up, but Victor was restless and ventured downstairs. Rounding the stairway, he saw Hiroko slinging a purse over her shoulder. He watched as she dug into her bag before patting her pockets. She jumped after turning to grab her coat not expecting anyone to be there.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Victor ran a hand through his messy silver hair. “Heading out? This early?”

Nodding, Hiroko snatched the keys she was looking for. “Yeah, getting chores out of the way. Luckily stores are open earlier since Christmas is in two days.” She paused as she buttoned up her jacket. “Do you celebrate Christmas? I mean, we don’t but we can always whip something together so you don’t feel—what’s the phrase—left out.”

Victor waved his hands in front of him. “Oh, no, no. It’s fine! I live alone so it’s not like I really celebrate, anyway. The most I do for Christmas is eat pie a friend of mine gives me every year. That’s the extent of my celebrating—I’m not religious.”

Hiroko grinned. “Well, alright then. I’ll be back in a while.” She gestured toward the kitchen. “There’s some rice and nori in the refrigerator if you want any for breakfast.” Making sure she had her shopping list, Hiroko walked toward the door, keys in hand.

Biting his lip, Victor hesitated a first. “Um…Hiroko?” He hoped this wouldn’t sound weird. “Ah, do you mind if…I go with you? I mean, there are some stores I’d like to check out nearby.”

Shrugging, Hiroko waved him along. “Sure, if you don’t mind me dropping you off while I get groceries.”

Victor thanked her and grabbed his coat and scarf, slipping on shoes as Hiroko walked outside and started the car.

“You know,” Hiroko began as she pulled out of the drive, “I’m surprised Yuri didn’t want to go with you to the mall. He hates crowds but this early the places are practically empty.”

Victor laughed as he tapped the armrest like an out-of-control SOS. “He’s taken me to a few stores around here already. I just don’t want him to go this time.”

Hiroko glanced at Victor out of the corner of her eye, pursing her lips.

“Ah, I mean!” Victor gasped, realizing how negative he’d sounded. “No, it’s not that I don’t want him around. I’d rather shop by myself today because…well…” He fidgeted with the seatbelt as he thought of how to tell her. “Okay, I’ll just spill it. Can I ask you something?”

Hiroko was quiet as Victor spoke his mind. Victor's legs tapped the floorboards as words poured out of his mouth. A wide grin spread across Hiroko’s face when Victor finished with a heavy sigh. She was thankful she’d studied English or she wouldn’t have been able to make out the string of word-vomit that ran past her ears.

Patting Victor on his shoulder, Hiroko shook her head as the car came to a stop in front of the mall. “Don’t tell my son I said this but…you are so cute. When I first learned of your occupation, I was worried. I thought Yuri had fallen for some scandalous trap or something. I mean, he is so meek and unstable at times—it would have been easy for you to hurt him. But here I sit, looking at you and I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

The click and whiz of Hiroko’s seatbelt met Victor’s ears. Looking up, he saw Hiroko’s gentle expression; she put a hand to his cheek. “These weeks you’ve been here you’ve become like family. I don’t have any doubt that you love Yuri and want the best for him. So,” she cupped his chin before turning and opening the car door, "you do what feels right to you; it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. And I can always smack some sense into him if needed—I’ve been doing it for years after all by talking through his feelings when his emotions get twisted. Well, either I or Phichit anyway.”

Victor's eyes followed Hiroko as she strode around the car and leaned against the hood.

“I thought you were going to drop me off,” Victor commented as he stepped out, tying the scarf tighter around his neck.

“I was, but from what you’ve just told me—I’m thinking you need a little help. Besides, shopkeepers speak little English if at all.”

Nodding, Victor waved toward the entrance. “After you.” The pair walked past the first few stores before Victor spoke again. “Thanks, by the way. This is one of my _don't think just do_ ideas—I'm glad you approve and that you're coming with me.”

“To translate,” she quipped with a wink.

 

* * *

 

“Okaasan, doko ni Vikutoru?”* Yuri asked with a yawn, rubbing his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. “It makes me nervous when he’s not there.”

Hiroko turned, setting the hot kettle on the table. “He’s outside—clearing the snow off the sidewalks. What’d you think, he went home without you knowing?”

Yuri turned his head, his eyes downcast. He wouldn’t answer that question; it was embarrassing enough that such thoughts ran through his head—he wouldn’t voice them as well.

Coming over, Hiroko captured him in a bear hug, ruffling his hair before pinching his chin. “Aw, baby—you should know better than that by now. But I know. I get it.”

Yuri stood there in thought before jerking up. “Hey! Wait, a minute! Why is Victor doing _my job_? Not only that, he’s out there without a coat?” He pointed toward the coatrack in the corner. “I see it right there! He’ll freeze! Mom, why’d you let—”

Putting her hands on her hips, Hiroko glared at her son with a smirk. “Don’t you raise your voice to me—I can still put you over my knee if I wanted to!”

“No, you couldn’t!” Yuri folded his arms, unable to hold in a laugh.

Hiroko tapped the wooden spoon in her other hand before pointing it at Yuri and shaking it. “Victor can you put over his knee if I wanted him to!” She countered, chuckling as it came out of her mouth.

Yuri threw his hands in the air, stomping as he went to get his jacket. “Ok! I am _not_ even going there.” Flipping through the various coats and hats, he poked his head out from the mess. “Mom, where’d my coat go? I know I left it here…”

“See you didn’t let me finish. Victor didn’t want to wake you so he took care of the snow—said it was the least he could do for staying here. He took your coat instead of his.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask me. Maybe it’s warmer or something.”

Growling, Yuri yanked the other coats off the hooks to get to Victor’s. “Well, I’m switching him and going to help.” Between pulling at coats and looking for his shoes, Yuri pulled down all the coats, scattering them on the floor. “Shit.”

Tossing Victor’s coat over his shoulder, Yuri returned the others to their rightful places. Slipping on shoes, he was about to open the door when he noticed a red booklet on the floor. "What's this?"

“Hm? Must have fallen out of one of the coats.” Picking it up, he turned it to see lettering he couldn’t read. It wasn’t English or Japanese. As his fingers brushed over the golden two-headed eagle on the front, it clicked—Russian. Glancing behind and checking to see his mother was still out of sight, Yuri flicked open the pamphlet to see Victor’s picture and more Russian lettering. There was only one thing he could read amongst the Cyrillic—dates.

Fixated on the passport, Yuri hadn’t heard his mother coming around the corner.

“Hey, weren't you going outside.”

Jumping, Yuri crammed the booklet in the closest pocket of Victor’s coat. “Um, yeah! Yeah!” He ran his fingers through his hair—they were shaking. Hiroko eyed him but said nothing, going back to what she was doing.

In a daze, Yuri’s mind went into overdrive as his shoes crunched in the snow. _Why did Victor have a Russian passport? He said he was American and I’m not stupid, those passports are blue with English. Why would he lie? Why did he never mention his age or birthday before?_

Yuri’s heart melted as he spotted Victor slinging snow over his shoulder—looking adorable in his Mizuno coat as he huffed.

“Hey!” Yuri called over as he ran toward him, waving. “That’s not how you shovel snow. Are you trying to hurt your back?” Victor turned and smiled as he saw Yuri, but it faded as Yuri came near to yank the shovel out of his hands. The pair just stared at each other as the silence stretched between them.

Victor twisted in confusion at Yuri’s pained expression, unknowing that Yuri’s anxiety was filling his head at the moment. _Why didn’t you tell me? Did you not love me enough to tell me your birthday was two days from now—on Christmas? Were you scared I wouldn’t like you because you were turning 30 or something? And the passport—were you so wrapped up in your escort persona you told me the lie instead?_

“Yuri? Are you…alright? You’re gripping that handle pretty tightly.” Victor backed up a few paces. “You kinda look like you’re about to hit me with it. Did I…do something wrong?” He rubbed his hands together as Yuri looked on in silence. “Look, I thought I’d help out. If that upset you, I’m sorry. I just…your mom needed help and…”

Shaking his head and sighing, Yuri brought himself back to the present. “No, you’re fine.” He bit his lip before continuing. He had to sound normal—there was an explanation, right? His anxiety was doing this—putting him on edge. “You’re just going to hurt yourself. Here, I’ll show you.”

Yuri didn’t speak about his feelings, keeping them buried which caused him to snip at Victor as they cleared the fallen snow. Victor tried to make light of the tenseness in the air but Yuri would have none of it, only solemnly smiling before turning and shoveling a different patch away from Victor. Yuri was warring with himself and he couldn’t have distractions—he could do this himself. He refused to break down and accuse; that’s what he’d done in the past and it never helped. He huffed as he took out his aggravation out on the snow, scooping more and tossing it to the side. He stopped as a hand came around to settle alongside his.

“Slow down there. I think you got it all,” Victor murmured as he pointed toward the ground. Yuri gasped, seeing what he’d done—the snow was long gone and he’d torn up the soil underneath.

Turning, Yuri’s widened eyes met Victor’s gentle gaze. “Oh, God! I didn’t realize—I-I’m sorry!”

Shrugging, Victor collected both shovels and steered Yuri toward the front door. “Well,” he chuckled, “it’s not my lawn, but I’m sure it’ll grow back. No harm done. Now, if you would have smacked me in the face with the shovel—then I’d have to say you’re in deep shit.” Yuri grinned, nudging Victor’s shoulder at the comment, the first time he’d done so since being outside.

Back indoors, Victor shook out the coats before hanging them on the rack. “You looked good my jacket. I didn’t think you’d come out, so I used your coat—more insulation.” Yuri simply nodded. He’d forgotten to switch coats when he saw Victor killing his back attempting to shovel snow.

The rest of the day went on as normal, yet even Hiroko noticed that Yuri wasn’t connected to Victor’s hip as he typically was. She almost commented but decided against it. If Yuri had an issue, he would have to learn to speak up on his own. It pained her to see Victor act playfully and Yuri respond so half-heartedly. She caught Victor’s eyes a few times, giving him a knowing glance. They both knew something was off.

After the laundry was folded and put up, Yuri grabbed his phone and announced he would watch TV downstairs instead of in his room where he’d normally cuddle up with Victor.

“Hold it,” Victor said as he grabbed Yuri’s hand, stepping around him and shutting the bedroom door. "What's up?"

"Hm? Nothing. My back hurts and I can stretch out more on the couch…"

"Yeah, I know, you said it hurts earlier today. Did you forget...I can read people very well?" Victor asked.

Shrugging, Yuri side stepped Victor as he tried to get to the door. His hand brushed the knob before strong arms wrapped around from behind.

Victor kissed up the side of Yuri’s neck. "You've been doing that thing all day since this morning—where you scoot away from me and shrug from my touches."

Looking down, Yuri nibbled at his bottom lip but didn’t argue. Victor could always see right through him.

Spinning him around, Victor took Yuri’s hands in his down, smoothing the skin with his thumbs.

"Yuri, I will pull it out of you. One way or the other." Victor lifted Yuri's chin when the floor seemed more interesting than his words. "Look at me. What's your mind saying? It's something about me, I know—ask me—tell me. I swear I won't get upset; I don't care what it is."

Yuri stuttered something unintelligible, attempting to pull away but Victor wouldn't budge. Seeing the stress on Victor's face, he gave in after a few minutes. This man, this ever patient man, would not let him get away petty lies and excuses.

Clearing his throat, Yuri spoke. "It's-it's saying...that you...lied to me. It's saying I can't trust you— _again_." Yuri cupped his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I can't help it."

Victor smoothed his hands down Yuri’s back to soothe him. "Go on. Why is your anxiety saying that? There's a reason, a trigger. What is it?"

Yuri fumbled around but eventually spit out what he’d been hiding. “I-I found a passport in your jacket—A Russian passport.” Victor’s sharp breath made Yuri quickly explain. “I swear, I wasn’t snooping! It-it slipped out when your coat fell to the floor.”

Reassuring fingers threaded through Yuri’s hair, making their way down his arms. "See...now was that so bad?" Yuri shook his head. "I'm here, Yuri. I can take it—all you have to do is tell me."

Yuri once again nodded, a few tears streaked down his face. He didn't want to be like this. He didn't want to accuse and doubt the ones he cared about most.

"Now, about that passport." Victor flicked the salty streams from Yuri's face. "I bet you didn't check all the pockets, did you? Because if you did, you would have found my US passport." He grinned, kissing Yuri's nose. "Dual citizenship, baby. My father is a Russian citizen, my mother an American, and I was born in the US. They applied for both so I could have the rights I'd need if I moved to Russia. I keep both just in case."

"That...explains...a lot," Yuri replied, feeling foolish beyond belief.

Victor patted his hip. "Yes, it does. That's why you need to come to me immediately with these worries. I'll never hide things about myself from you and communicating prevents you from freaking out like you did. If you want to know something—ask. I’m used to keeping things to myself so I forget to be forthcoming, but I’ll never lie to you."

Picking up Victor’s hands, Yuri put them to his cheeks before leaning in for a kiss. Feeling Victor’s lips on his brought comfort back to his scattered mind. “Thank you…for not getting upset with me. I’d think most people would leave after the _first time_ I accused them of lying.”

Victor dipped Yuri’s head back to lavish kisses down his throat, murmuring, “You forget, I’m not _most people_ and neither are you.” He cupped both hands behind Yuri’s ears, locking eyes. “Because _most people_ would take one look at me and see a dirty whore and here you gave yourself to me seeing nothing but trust. I think I am the one that needs to be thanking you for giving me the chance in the first place.”

Nuzzling into Victor’s chest, Yuri fisted the back of his shirt. “You’re amazing, Victor. The patience of a saint.”

“There will be days when I ask for the same patience. You get more today because you tried.” Yuri knitted his brows as he looked up at Victor.

“I could tell you were dealing with something—trying to make whatever it was go away before it became too much to handle. I appreciate you trying to save me from your thoughts but as you found out—it just gets worse if you let it fester—if you don’t confront them.”

Yuri nodded. He knew it was true, but he still kept repeating the same conversations. “I know, I know. It’s just,” he pointed to his head, “my brain and all.”

Victor patted him on the back as he led him out of the room. “Then let's distract that brain with some TV. I believe you had a show in mind?”

Sighing as he ventured to the couch, Yuri smacked himself mentally. _This would have been so much easier if I’d just come out with it. Why oh why do I make everything so difficult!?_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for keeping up with me!
> 
> I was stuck on my other story, "Use Me," and then I was dealing with aggravation at work. *Ugh*
> 
> Yuri's inner thoughts of having the same b.s. run through his head over and over and having the same conversations/arguments is exactly what I deal with all the time. You know you should do better and be better but it is so hard, even with medication. My hat is off to anyone dealing with mental illnesses--I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We got to see Victor and Hiroko's interactions, which I really enjoyed! I wonder what they talked about...hm...
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear from you! <3
> 
> * * *
> 
> * Okaasan, doko ni Vikutoru? = Mom, where's Victor?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those that haven't given up on this story. I hadn't planned on writing today but I decided to put my butt in the chair and just do it. I owe it to you guys and to our sweet Yuri and Victor.
> 
> Just be forewarned, as I said in a previous story note, I'm trying to go with the don't edit just write concept, so this story has very minimal editing. Minimal as in a run through Grammarly.
> 
> Please enjoy this long-awaited next installment. <3

 

* * *

 

Victor squinted in the darkened room when he awoke and patted the side of the bed. “Yuri?” Cold met his fingertips. He swung his legs around to the edge of the bed and stretched before getting up and grabbing a robe hanging on the door. The room seemed cooler without Yuri in it.

“Yuri?” He called again as he took each stair while clearing the sleep out of his eyes. His stomach growled when he made it to the silent living room “Mm…food.” He made a right to head into the kitchen.

Victor’s hand hesitated on the light switch. “Way too still. What the hell is—”

“Happy Birthday!” A pair of voices rang out. The lights flicked on and Victor shielded his eyes at first. “And Merry Christmas!” Yuri shouted as he walked toward Victor holding a red and green decorated cake. The glow from each of thirty-one white candles reflected in Victor’s widened blue eyes.

“Oh, my god.” Victor put his hands to his cheeks. His mouth still hung open in a perfect "O".

Yuri stopped just a few feet from where he’d started and glanced at his mother. His cheeks flared with the same hue as the little icing roses that sat upon the quarter sheet cake. “I…um…I’m…sorry.” Yuri’s hands trembled as Victor didn’t respond. “I just…I just thought…” Tears sprang to his eyes and his mother rushed over and took the cake from his hands, setting it on the table for safety. Yuri’s hands hovered in the air where the cake had been.

Victor ran a hand through his silver hair and stepped forward, taking the shaky hands in his own. He steered Yuri next to the wall and held him there.

“I can’t believe you…”

Yuri tried to interrupt but got cut off.

“…did this.”

Yuri had his hands out to distance himself from Victor. He yelped when Victor yanked then down to his sides. He caged Yuri against the wall and claimed his mouth. His hands threaded through the dark hair and tilted Yuri’s head back and moaned into the kiss. Yuri gasped for air when they were finished.

“I thought…you were mad.” Yuri wiped his tears with a sleeve.

Victor glanced backward to see Hiroko trying not to laugh in the corner. She appeared to be sneaking around toward the back door, so he pressed his lips to Yuri’s ear. “Babe, if your mother wasn’t standing there I’d bend you across the table and show you how _not_ mad I am. In fact,” Victor left on hand on Yuri’s chest and reached as far as he could to take a swipe from the cake’s icing and brought it around for Yuri to see. He lowered his voice to a mere whisper again. “I’m so ecstatic right now I’m thinking of using your body as a plate and,” He put the frosting into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the finger. “licking it out of your hole just like that. Slowly, before I add my own cream.” Victor kissed him once more and released him from the wall to turn and grin and Hiroko, who almost made it out without a peep.

“Sorry…I got…carried away. Hiroko, thank you so much for this wonderful surprise.” Victor turned to Yuri and took his hand, yanking him to his side. “No one has ever done something this sweet for me before. Thank you both. I was just so shocked before and didn’t have the words.”

Hiroko snorted and covered her face. “You’re so welcome and I’m sure you found the right words with Yuri’s face as red as it is.” She grinned at both. “I think I might need to step out for a bit or at least clean up the basement far far away from upstairs.” With a whistle, she skipped out of the kitchen, but not before giving Yuri a wink.

Yuri ruffled his hair before adjusting himself the moment his mom was out of sight. “Um…well…okay…better make a wish and blow out the candles.”

Victor grinned while he sauntered over to the front of the cake. “I’d rather blow something else right now, but I suppose we don’t want to catch the house on fire with all those candles. Shit, I can’t believe I’m so old.”

“Oh stop.” Yuri walked around and put his hands around Victor’s waist and kissed his back. “You are so not old. I’d have thought you were my age if I didn’t see your passport. Why didn’t you say your birthday was in a few days before?”

Victor shrugged. “I’ve never really celebrated it much, so I didn’t think of it. But at least now I can make a wish after all these years, right?”

Yuri nodded and rubbed his shoulders and stepped back for Victor to have space to think of a wish.

“Got it.” Victor sucked in a breath and blew as hard as he could, covering all the candles. It took two big breaths until they were all out.

Victor sat at the table while Yuri grabbed plates and utensils. Yuri grinned the entire time he cut the cake and served Victor and himself.

“Okay, come on…what’d you wish for?”

“Nope, not telling.” Victor took a big bite and grinned. Icing covered his teeth.

“Oh, that’s attractive.” Yuri scooped up a blob of icing and ran it down his neck. “But this is better.”

Victor groaned. The chair scraped across the hardwood floor when Victor rose without a word. The other chair groaned as he pulled Yuri’s out from the table. Yuri licked his lips when Victor sat on his lap and grabbed his hair, yanking it back. A tongue darted out and lapped up the sugary goodness in one wet stroke up Yuri’s neck. Victor kissed back down his neck, ensuring nothing was left behind. “Get your ass upstairs. And bring the cake.” Victor rose and sauntered toward the living room and stairs. He didn’t have to look back to know Yuri was scrambling to grab some cake and catch up after he picked his jaw up off the floor.

The moment Yuri crossed the threshold of his room the door slammed behind him. The piece of cake was haphazardly tossed on the desk while Victor captured his lips. Their erections were rubbing through Yuri’s clothing. Victor had already stripped from his robe and underwear.

Yuri stumbled when Victor pushed him onto the bed and yanked his sweats off in one motion. Yuri tossed his shirt to the side before catching an overeager Victor in his arms.

“No boxers? I like it.” Victor snickered and kissed up Yuri’s stomach. “My present. Just waiting for me and I don’t even have to unwrap it. Turn over.” He patted Yuri’s ass while pinching a nipple.

“Wait.” Yuri pushed himself onto his elbows. He was heaving from the heady kisses. “I have a gift for you…but…I don’t know if you would want to.”

Victor cocked an eyebrow. “Hm? Anything you give I’d want.”

Yuri toyed with the top comforter for a moment before confessing. “I want to give you what you give me everything we make love. I want to…fuck you.” He took his glasses off and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I mean, I thought it would be appropriate…considering you took my virginity for my birthday and I…I could take yours. You said you’ve never—that way before, so…” Yuri saw Victor’s smirk above him. “But.. if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to dominate you. I think it would just feel good but I don’t want to hurt you or—."

Victor’s deep kiss stopped his rambling.

The bed creaked as Victor turned and stretched out on his stomach. Yuri was in shock as he took in the view between Victor’s legs. Victor looked back and wiggled his ass.

“My body is yours to enjoy—on one condition.”

“Hm?” Yuri was biting his lip while he stared at the perfect lines of muscle down Victor’s back.

“I get to feel you. No pulling out. Are you okay with that?”

Yuri removed his glasses and set them on the bookshelf. He whined when he let his hands roam up Victor’s thighs and around his cheeks. “Okay with that? Victor, that’s been a wet dream since I met you.” He pulled his hands back and slapped one over his mouth. “Shit…I just said that out loud. Just…um…pretend you didn’t hear that.”

Victor whipped around tore Yuri from his embarrassment. A second later Yuri was on his back and his cock was resting between Victor’s cheeks.

“Now that’s a coincidence. I had similar thoughts of riding you until you couldn’t come anymore.” Victor grinned at the groan that escaped Yuri’s lips when he pushed back to grind himself against his lower stomach. The lube fell on the bed after Yuri’s half-hazard grab that ended up being a swat.

“Someone’s eager.” Victor kissed around each of Yuri’s nipples, teasing but not sucking. His head began to rise but Yuri reached out and guided his mouth his own. After a deep kiss, Victor pulled away. “Very eager apparently.” He pushed himself up and took the lube, squeezing a large pool in his hand.

Yuri’s head slammed back into the pillow as Victor’s cool hand met his cock and smoothed the gel down his shaft. He made a point to scrap his nails gently against the flesh.

Yuri’s hands came up to rest on his shoulders. “Let me open you.”

“You’re going to open me. Very deeply.” Victor took Yuri’s leaking cock, leaned forward, and rubbed it around his entrance. “I’ve used toys for years. I know myself and I don’t need slow scissoring. Just ease yourself inside.”

Yuri’s face scrunched in confusion. “Are you sure? If I hurt you…”

“My love, I’m aching more without my present.” Victor groaned. “If you’re ready, I’m ready.”

Victor chuckled when Yuri’s tip pushed against his hole. He let himself fall until the tip slipped inside.

Yuri grabbed his hips. “Oh, God. So warm. I don’t if I can—”

“Shhh.” Victor ran his hands up Yuri’s chest. “It’s okay. I’ll go slow so you can get used to it. And if you come too soon…so what.”

“But, but I want your first time to be memorable not a one-second wonder.”

“Yuri…” With a growl under his breath, his kissed the trembling lips. “Relax, breathe.” He cupped his face and slid down a fraction, making Yuri moan. “You’re inside me. Trust must, I won’t forget this, no matter what and it’s already amazing…because it’s you.”

A tear slipped down Yuri’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Victor took his time and eased his way down Yuri’s shaft. Both let out the breaths they’d been holding when Yuri felt himself surrounded fully by velvet warmth. Gentle rocking morphed into bodies colliding. Yuri panted and grabbed Victor’s hips, guiding him as he slammed himself back down. They continued pushing and pulling, fingers and nails scraped at each other's backs, until Yuri cried out.

“Coming!” His face was pink, eyes squeezed shut. Victor forced himself down hard, forcing the cock as deep as it could go.

Victor stroked himself and squeezed his muscles just to hear the whines from below. A grunt followed Yuri’s gasp and Victor released on Yuri’s chest.

“Wow.” Victor’s eyes were wide when they caught Yuri’s. He collapsed on top of him and buried his face into the mop of sweaty dark brown hair.

Yuri’s arms encircled him and rubbed his back as they both came down from the high.

“Yuri?” Victor’s voice was still muffled by the hair.

“Yeah?”

“I love being inside you, but…we are so doing this again.” Victor groaned when he eased himself off and laid next to Yuri. “I don’t want to get up.” He clasped one of his hands with Yuri’s.

Yuri kissed up Victor’s shoulder. “That was…indescribable. I could cuddle like this for hours…but…” His unoccupied hand fanned at his chest. “it’s gonna get a little uncomfortable if we don’t clean up. Shower with me?”

Victor rolled off the bed and grabbed one robe for himself and another for Yuri.

The shower was quick, they laughed while running back to the room in nothing but towels. Victor took and random shirt and cotton sleep pants out of a drawer and Yuri did the same. Yuri stretched out on the floor and reclined his back on the bed. Victor took the spot next to him and nuzzled his head into Yuri’s lap. Minutes when by in silence, just Yuri stroking Victor’s hair and Victor caressing a thigh.

“You can tell me, you know.” Yuri broke the silence.

“Tell what?”

“Your wish. I promise I won’t laugh.”

Victor rubbed his chin. “I don’t know…you just might. And, wasn’t that supposed to be secret?”

Yuri playfully slapped him on the shoulder. “Oh come on. It’s just for fun. I’m curious, but if you really don’t want me to know…”

Grumbling, Victor turned his face into Yuri’s stomach and whined something in Russian. He popped his head up after a long sigh. “Okay, okay. But, don’t laugh…or preferably, don’t run away.”

Yuri knitted his eyes and leaned backward, jutting his chin inward. “It’s something creepy or really weird, isn’t it? Maybe I don’t want to know then…”

“Oh, no, you wanted it, now you’re gonna get it.” Victor rocked up to his knees and crawled to the closet.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you gonna just tell me?” Yuri craned his neck to see over Victor’s head, which was currently buried in the back of his closet.

Victor tossed out a random shirt and a pair of shoes. “Better to show you.” A pair of Yuri’s hiking boots tumbled toward him on the floor. “Found it.” He scooted backward until he was out and could slide the doors shut. A bag dangled from his fingers.

With a deep sigh and a sweep of bangs, Victor rocked onto his feet but stayed on the floor. “Get up and grab that pen over there on the bookshelf, will you?”

Yuri nodded and curled his lip in question but did as he was told. His fingers were inches from the shelf when told him to freeze. His hand hovered in the air. “Um…?”

Victor shuffled to a stand and tossed the crinkled bag aside. “Turn around…slowly.”

Yuri’s feet didn’t seem to move at first, but after a few turns he was facing Victor and he gasped and slapped both hands over his mouth.

Shaky hands held out an open box. The light coming from the end of the curtains reflected off the gold contents.  Victor held steady on one knee. His cheeks were pink and his eyes pleaded with Yuri to not bolt.

“This is my wish…”

Victor took Yuri’s hand and held it, ignoring the agape mouth and saucer eyes.

“Yuri Katsuki, will you marry me?”

Yuri stared on, lost in the blue eyes below, he was trembling.

Patting his hand, Victor continued after a bit of silence. “I know we haven’t known each other a long time, but I feel the pull toward you. I know my soul mate and I am looking at him. I’m not asking for perfect. I’m asking for you just the way you are. Will you have me? Will you make my wish come true?”

Tears streamed down Victor’s face and Yuri’s.

Victor leaned forward and kissed Yuri’s hand. “I love you, Yuri.” His face dipped into a frown for a single second. “I-I understand if you want to think about it. I will—”

“I can’t believe this…you…” Yuri waved his hands up at down gesturing at Victor’s crouching form, “perfect, wonderful, you….asking to marry _me_.”

“Well, technically, Yuri, you asked me first a few weeks ago. I just made it official.” Victor and Yuri chuckled in unison.

"I want you to be the first and last person I see every day and night. I want to be the one you run to when you have an anxiety attack. I want to be the one that has the privilege to see all of you, good and bad."

Yuri’s hand fisted into a ball before extending it and stroking Victor’s damp cheek. His entire arm was shaking. “Victor…”

“Yuri? Will you be mine?”

“Yuri…?”

“Yuri…are you…?”

Yuri wasn’t looking at Victor anymore, but through him instead. His breath came in ragged gasps. His eyes were blown wide and his mouth was moving but no sound was uttered. Yuri grabbed his chest and fell to his knees. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

The ring box thudded to the ground, abandoned. Victor cradled Yuri’s head in his lap and smoothed the sticky hair out of his face. “Yuri, honey? Can you tell me what’s wrong.” Victor’s voice came out rushed and uneven.

Yuri grabbed his shirt and mouthed, “Panic…” He shut his eyes and blew out and breath and inhaled. The breathing techniques he’d learned weren’t helping his time.

“Fuck.” Victor glanced around the room for anything to help calm him. “Hiroko! Hiroko!” Victor screamed as loud as he was able. He tore off his own shirt and pulled Yuri to his bare chest.

“Shhh…it’s okay.” Victor rocked Yuri in his arms. “You’re safe, my love.” He cupped Yuri’s cheek and forced his head up to meet his eyes. “Listen to my heartbeat, okay? Can you count with me? Come on…one…two…three…four…five… Move your lips, say it out loud if you can. Six…seven…eight…”

Yuri’s voice was above a whisper, but he counted. His shaking tapered off.

The door to the bedroom swung open. Hiroko stood, panic in her face. “What’s…?” One glance at her son and she knew. The far-off expression, tremors, and sweat. She put a hand on her lips. A tear traced down her chin as she watched her son come down from his attack in the arms of someone else. Something she’d never witnessed before.

Yuri’s head lifted an inch and fell back down. He sucked in a mouthful of air and blew it out buried in Victor’s arm. He mumbled first then cleared his throat. The first words uttered were, “Oh my god. This is a nightmare, right? I ruined it.”

Victor put his lips in Yuri’s hair. “No, you ruined nothing. It’s just going to be one hell of a proposal to tell any future kids.”

The frown and glare on Yuri’s face made both Victor and Hiroko giggle. Hiroko dried her tears. “Thank you, Victor.”

“I didn’t do anything, just…calmed him down.” Victor sat up but didn’t let Yuri out of his hold.

Hiroko sniffed. “You did and have done more than you think. You're his safe place now. I wondered why he had huge t-shirts when he got back. Now it makes sense. They eased his mind.”

Victor grinned. “And I thought I was nuts for thinking a few of my shirts went awol. I should have known.” He chuckled and rubbed Yuri’s back when the other moaned and hid his head further between a bare arm and torso.

“You two have a special bond.” Hiroko leaned against the door frame. “You know, when he was a child and couldn’t be consoled, his doctor said to focus him on my skin. The feel. The scent. It’s…” She coughed, but it sounded more like a gruff cry. “beautiful—what you two have.”

“Mom…” Yuri’s head popped up from Victor’s side. “I just totally embarrassed myself. I love you, but please no more stories.”

Hiroko smiled and glanced down to the floor where the box had fallen. “Okay, dear. I love you—both of you. I’ll just…” She turned and started down the hall and called back, “finish whatever it is you were doing in there.”

Victor called out before she’d be out of earshot. “Thank you, Hiroko. I mean it.”

A chuckle echoed throughout the hall and into the bedroom. “That’s mom to you, young man. Or it will be if I know my son.”

Yuri face planted in Victor’s side again. Victor laughed and patted his head. “I like my third mom…”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As always, I appreciate any comments and suggestions given. I was really hesitant about the sex scene in this one. It doesn't flow well to me, so I apologize if it was a bit of a turn-off.
> 
> I promise that if I rework this story and turn it into a book with my own characters (which I am thinking of doing in the future) it will not be this haphazardly done. lol <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying another method to get myself writing again. (Granted, it has helped that I have an additional weekend day due to the Labor Day holiday in the US.)
> 
> My new method is called, "Finish Something—Anything." I've started off with something small, like finish a chapter instead of going directly to finishing a story. In this chapter's case, I started and finished it all within two hours. (And that is an accomplishment for my slow ass writing.)
> 
> Please enjoy this shorter, dialogue-filled chapter!

* * *

 

Yuri propped himself up with a second pillow so he could sit up straight. His left arm was extended and he wiggled his fingers, grinning slightly as the fluttering light from the open curtains made the gold band glitter. The door opened and he tucked his hand under the blanket.

Victor stepped in with a laundry basket full of clean clothes. “I saw that.”

“You didn’t see anything.” Yuri jutted out his bottom lip and folded his arms around a spare pillow.

The basket thumped against the open suitcase. Victor chuckled and threw a shirt in Yuri’s direction, missing him by inches. “Oh, stop pouting. Did you even say yes yet?”

Yuri hopped off the bed but stumbled on a pile of jeans. Both hands struck out to catch himself but they landed on Victor instead of the floor. Yuri’s fingers glided along Victor’s biceps before he leaned forward to grab him in a bear hug. His face was damp as it nuzzled into the soft shirt Victor was wearing.

“I said yes but you’re leaving anyway.”

Victor’s arms circled around Yuri but it didn’t calm the trembling. He held Yuri tight against his chest and kissed his hair. “I know it’s terrible timing, just a few days after proposing, but Lilly—”

“So she means more to you than me?” Yuri’s reddened eyes peeked up to see Victor frowning.

“Yuri, don’t be like this.” Victor rubbed his back. “You didn’t even let me finish what I was trying to say earlier. She got her mammogram results back. Yuri…honey…they think it may be cancer.”

“Now you’re putting a guilt trip on me?” Yuri tried to pull away but Victor’s grip on his waist was stronger.

“No, I’m telling you so you’ll understand. She has no one else. Literally, no one.” Victor lifted Yuri’s face and cupped his damp cheeks with both hands. “Would you want to go through a diagnosis or treatments like that alone? Plus…she needs me back to talk to the attorney.”

“What? Why?”

Victor turned his head away and sighed. “Because…she…wants me to be the executor of her estate and…” He pulled Yuri’s arms from around himself and kissed the knuckles before releasing them.

“And?” Yuri repeated with a sharpness to his voice. “Just tell me. My mind comes up with the worst if you don’t. You know this!”

Victor grabbed some boxers off the bed and tossed it near the suitcase without looking. “She’s rewriting her will. Yuri…” He put a hand to his mouth and wiped down the corners with two fingers. “I’m going to be the sole beneficiary of her entire inheritance.”

Yuri felt backward on the bed, catching himself with both arms. “You? … Wow.”

“Yeah, wow is right. Me, a fucking escort—a whore.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “They need a few other lawyers and doctors to be there to bear witness. You know, to prove she’s in the right state of mind and I’m not coercing her to sign away everything.” He sat down next to Yuri and took his hand, squeezing it. “I just…don't know how to feel. In my mind, I’m hoping and praying she’s okay while at the same time thinking she must be insane to want to give me this power.”

Yuri brought Victor’s face close and kissed his temple and down his cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was stupid thinking you were leaving because she missed your company and to find out she’s going through this horrible thing alone. I can’t imagine—not having anyone to hold on to while you wait for the final results. I should have listened to you when you were trying to explain.” More tears streaked down Yuri’s face.

Victor cradled Yuri’s head then pushed him back on the bed, crawling on top. He kissed along the wet paths before taking Yuri’s mouth in a tender kiss. Both of Yuri’s hands came up only to be pinned above his head.

“Come with me.”

“Victor…I…”

“Please, come with me.” Victor buried his face in Yuri’s neck. “I need you.”

“So does my mom, Victor.”

“And so does Phichit. When’s the last time you texted him, huh? Like forever? You kind of dropped him when I arrived.”

Yuri smacked Victor lightly on the head. He couldn’t deny it—he was an ass of a friend sometimes.

“Come with me. My condo is your condo now. Lilly wanted to meet you anyway. Maybe we could all get together—you, me, Phichit, and Lilly.”

“If I’d go I wouldn’t be able to pay my share of rent and stuff…” Yuri trailed off. He knew it was an excuse and should have realized Victor always had an answer for those.

Victor released Yuri and scrambled to the suitcase on the floor. He dug in a few inner pockets until he found it. “Ah ha!” A roll of hundred dollar bills flew through the air until it landed on Yuri’s stomach. “That’s yours anyway. Not that I want it or need it. But at least you have,” Victor put his hands in the air and used air quotes, “your own money.”

Yuri pushed himself up and threw the money right back on the floor. “Why are you always giving me my money back? I’m not poor and you were and are damn good in bed. It was worth the money.” Yuri couldn’t help but grin, even if he was still in a regretful mood.

“Sorry. I can’t take money for sexual favors from my fiance. Unless…you know…you want me to do a little dance and you throw dollar bills at me. That I _can_ do.”

The cocky smirk on Victor’s face had them both cackling and the ridiculousness of it all. Yuri cleared the first happy tears from his eyes before speaking. “God, our first argument as an engaged couple and it’s about you wanting to be there for a friend in need. I’m an ass.”

“You’re not an ass, Yuri. You’re just…maybe a bit jealous? But, besides all that, you didn’t answer. Will you come back to the states with me?”

Yuri crawled down to the floor to face Victor and took his hands. “I love you. And I’m not letting you do this all alone either. I’ll come with you—on one condition.”

“Yes…?”

“Protect me from Phichit. I know he’s going to want to kick my ass for ignoring him all this time.”

Victor grinned and put a finger to his chin. “Hmm…I don’t know. I may just let him kick it so then I can kiss it all better.”

Yuri jabbed Victor’s thigh with a foot.

“Okay. Okay. Done. Now go grab your suitcase.”

When Yuri rose, Victor started to follow until Yuri held out a hand. “No, stay here. I can get it downstairs. Plus…I’d rather tell my mom by myself that I’m going back to the US.”

“Okay.” Victor reached out and kissed the ring on Yuri’s finger. “Thank you. I’ll be here if you need me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are always welcomed and appreciated! <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I have a major issue with procrastination and not-good-enough-syndrome. :( I know you guys have heard enough apologies so, without further adieu, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Oh, and...Happy New Year! Let's hope for 2019 to be a butt-in-chair kinda year! Woot!!!
> 
> Thank you so much to all those readers that are still interested in this story. You all rock!

 

* * *

 

Yuri grimaced at his phone as he walked through Fukuoka Airport’s sliding doors.

“We’re not getting a ride, huh?” Victor’s lips upturned into a smirk when Yuri glanced upward.

“Oh no, we’re getting a ride. I’m just gonna get more shit that I’d planned. Phichit has so many crying emojis in this damn text and then says that my room was turned into a dark room and I have to bring him real ramen packets at the car door or I’m not getting in.”

Victor flipped open the bag on his shoulder and frowned. “Shit. I didn’t grab any treats to bring back.”

Yuri shook his roller bag. “I got ‘em. He loves that salty crap—I was prepared."

Hiroko laughed behind the pair then sighed. “I’m going to miss you two. So much.” She pulled at both of their coats and stopped them from walking, putting herself in the middle. Both Yuri and Victor laughed when Hiroko wrapped her arms around their outer shoulders and hung on. “But…since you’re not bringing fancy trinkets that just means you will come visit me—right? All a ruse I’m sure to have an excuse to visit your poor mother in Japan?”

“Oh, mom.” Yuri pulled her away from Victor just as a fellow traveler bumped into them, grumbling about stopping in the middle of a walkway. Victor steered the pair to the wall with electronic check-in machines. Yuri shrugged his pack off and let it fall, taking his mom into a full bear hug. “You know I love you—” The sniffles started. “No. No…don’t cry. Mom!”

Victor leaned against the wall and wiped his face, Yuri saw gesture out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh…come on. Not you too!”

Victor squinted his eyes. “I wasn’t. I was just—” He was cut off when Hiroko threw herself over him into a hug. Yuri stood with his mouth hanging open, eyes darting around as passersby murmured, “Awww….”

Victor stroked Hiroko’s hair as she sniffled some more. “Shhh, …it’s all right. We’ll come back, for sure. I mean, you’ll wanna see grandkids and—”

“What?” Hiroko and Yuri looked up and gasped at the same time. Victor left the grin plastered on his face in answer.

“That’s right. Hiroko,” He put a hand on Hiroko’s shoulder and nudged her back to look in her eyes. Victor’s face strained with seriousness. “Yuri’s pregnant.” He nearly kept a straight face all the way through the line.

“Oh, you!” Hiroko smacked him on the arm and dried her tears while laughing.

Yuri threw up his hands. “What the hell?”

Victor and Hiroko both looked over to the one that both loved the most in the world.

“Simmer down there, sweetie. You’re having a mood swing.”

Hiroko grabbed Victor’s hand and knitted her brows. “Maybe we need to get him chocolate. That worked with me.”

“Yeah, great idea. Those hormones, such a mess for our boy.” Victor’s face pinched in genuine worry.

“Apparently, I’m not the crazy one here.” Yuri picked up his backpack and wheeled a carry-on in front of himself and pointed to Victor. “You better hope then I don’t get morning sickness considering I’m sitting next to you on a twelve-hour flight.”

“Oh! Good point.” Victor turned to Hiroko and chuckled. “Okay, he’s not pregnant anymore. Images of puking in my head just killed the fun.”

Hiroko reached over and gabbled Yuri and Victor at the same time, kissing them both on the cheek. “I love you guys. I’m so gonna miss the banter.”

“We love you too,” they said in unison.

Yuri said his last goodbyes with Victor and they started toward the check-in counters. He was about to speak to an airline associate when Victor pulled him in the opposite direction and pointed to a red-carpeted area.

“Over here.”

Two ladies in gray skirt suits with bright orange and purple colored scarfs wrapped around their necks collected their luggage and handed them their boarding passes. “Please, feel free to wait in the lounge and enjoy the complimentary breakfast and beverages.”

After they were out of earshot Yuri planted his feet in front of an elevator. “First class? Really? You freaking paid for first-class tickets!”

“What?” Victor shrugged. “I want to travel in comfort with my fiance.” He winked at Yuri and got into the elevator to press the top button that said: “1st Class Lounge Guests Only.”

***

“You might want to close your mouth, dear.”

Yuri’s jaw snapped shut as he put a hand on one of the in-flight suite doors to steady himself. “This is—”

“Fantastic, right?”

“I was going to say…excessive.”

“Excessively fantastic?” Victor grinned as he stepped into the cubical area and sat in one of the chairs that looked more like a leather lounger than an airplane seat. He held at a hand toward Yuri and wiggled his fingers. “Welcome to the rest of your life.”

The edges of Yuri’s lips curled upward. He couldn’t help it. This man was infuriating but oh so wonderful. He took the offered assistance and plopped down in creamy luxury. A mix between a hum and a groan escaped his lips. A giggle escaped Victor’s.

Yuri’s eyes opened at the breath on his earlobe.

“You’re cut out for this. I don’t think I’ve ever given you _that_ good of orgasm.” The whisper seemed booming in Yuri’s ear. He craned upward and looked around. No one seemed to hear a thing over the hum of the aircraft and bustle of passengers and attendants moving about.

“Shut up.” Yuri narrowed his gazed and gritted his teeth at his now beaming fiance. His voice cracked with a laugh. “I wasn’t—”

“Can I get you, gentlemen, any champagne or orange juice before take off?” A flight attendant with chestnut hair tied in a bun leaned down into their cube. Yuri’s face turned bright red. Did she hear the conversation? God, he hoped not.

“Juice is fine.” Yuri stammered before sinking into his seat and buckling in.

Victor patted his hand that rested on the stuffed armrest. “Champagne would be wonderful. Thank you.”

“Sure, my pleasure. My name is Anette by the way. Feel free to ask me for anything that would make your flight more comfortable.” She smiled sweetly and dipped her head before making her way to the next passenger suite.

Yuri sat quietly and examined the complimentary personal items they each received in a fancy basket. He sighed before he spoke to the tiny CK One spritzer bottle in his fingers.

“This is weird. I’ve never had indulgent experiences like this. It feels like I’m a fraud—like I should really get outta here and into the Economy section before they find out. I’m not rich. I’m out of place.”

“Yuri…” Victor reached to grab his hand but stopped when the seatbelt light came on. Once that was taken care of he cleared his throat and turned toward Yuri. “Anyway…” He threaded his fingers with Yuri’s and kissed the top. “You belong where ever the hell you want to belong. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, make you feel differently. And honey, I hate to break the news but…you are wealthy. We are—”

“That’s your money. Not mine, Victor.”

The flight attendant returned and set their drinks on the small side table. “Is there anything else I can bring you?”

Victor waved his hand and half smiled. “No, we’re good at the moment, unless…” He gestured to Yuri.

“I’m fine.”

Victor continued when the attendant disappeared into the next cube. “Anyway…hey…I’m gonna write a dirty story or something about you if you don’t look at me.” Yuri’s lips curled up but his head didn’t move. “I’ll make sure it’ll be a bestseller—just think, men and women under their covers reading about how you—”

“Okay, okay.” Yuri turned toward him, taking his hand back and crossing his arms. “What?”

“—joined the mile high club while you were draped over these oh-so-plush seats.”

Yuri’s hands went in the air. “What the hell. I am looking at you like you wanted!”

The plane jostled, and the captain announced that the attendants prepare for take off. Victor took a sip of his drink before it would be collected and Yuri gulped his down in one go.

“Yeah? I didn’t say I was gonna stop.” He waved his hands in front of his face. “Okay. Anyway, whatever is mine is yours. Did you forget that’s what happens when you marry someone? All that’s mine is yours and yours is mine stuff. Please don’t get all worked up about money—it's just paper that happens to buy stuff.”

The plane sped down the runway and it rocked as the wheels left the pavement.

“I didn’t earn it, Victor. I don’t want to be one of those…those…” Yuri’s hand twirled in the air as he thought of the English phrase.

“Kept men?”

“Yeah. All fat and happy because I married rich.”

Victor wrapped his arm around Yuri’s shoulders. Yuri didn’t pull away. “There isn’t anything wrong with being fat or rich. And what do you think I’m going to get back to the States and drape you in furs and diamonds, never letting you leave the house? Like…bitch get back in the kitchen??? Hon, I had money before you even knew it and I didn’t do that.”

Yuri snorted as he laughed so hard his lungs hurt. A few passengers looked over their seats at him. Pink graced Yuri’s cheeks, but it was hard to stop giggling. A tongue slipping in his mouth did the job for him. Yuri’s body instantly relaxed as Victor’s mouth gently caressed his own. The body heat. The gentle hum of the plane. Everything suddenly felt better. His shoulders visibly relaxed under Victor’s touch.

“Sorry,” Yuri muttered when he pulled from the kiss. “I’ve been a little on edge. Leaving my mom…again and all this news right after the other—it’s overwhelming sometimes.”

“And I get that, but, sweetheart,” Victor ran his thumb over Yuri’s cheek and cupped his chin. “Don’t think I’m going to turn into someone else just because you found out I have money or anything else. Roles won’t be reversed.”

“What do you mean?” Yuri arched an eyebrow.

“I will never treat you like a decoration on my arm or a body to fill my needs. I will always be your escort. At your feet. In your bed. Inside you. All for your pleasure.”

Yuri chuckled. “Okay, now you’re overdoing it.”

“I didn’t say you could throw money at me while I roll around in one-hundred-dollar bills…yet”

“Oh, but I’m sure that’s coming. I get it—money won’t change you because you’ve had it. But…will it change me? Us? I hope not.”

Victor kissed his cheek as the cabin lights dimmed. “Everything changes, Yuri. But it is up to us if they change in a positive or negative way. Keep talking and telling me what’s going on in that brain of yours and I’ll keep listening. It’ll all work out.” A grin spread across Victor’s face. “Even if I’m blowing you while you let it all out I’m still listening. Always.”

A tear slid down Yuri’s face. “Thanks.” Yuri reached over and pulled Victor into another kiss. It wasn’t a normal pep talk but it wouldn’t be truly Victor if it didn’t have some kind of extra to it.

Anette, their flight attendant stopped at their cube holding pairs of wrapped clothing. Yuri cleared his face and smiled.

“Would you like to change into your complimentary pajamas before we dim the lights further?” She pointed to the front of the aircraft. “We have larger lavatories for first class so you can change in private.”

“Um, sure. I guess.” It came out as more of a question as Yuri glanced at Victor before looking back to the slender attendant. They exchanged a few more pleasantries before she left the items on the table and let them know the changing room was free now if either would like to use it.

Victor reached over and took both pajamas and rose from his seat.

“No,” Yuri smirked and held an open hand out toward Victor. “Mine. Give.”

Holding up them up, Victor pointed to the orange and red embellished bags he held in one hand. He bent at the waist and his bangs tickled the tops of Yuri’s ears as he hovered over him. A quick peck to Yuri’s cheek and his lips were back nearly touching Yuri’s earlobe. “Oh, I think you may need help with these mile-high PJs. Your legs will be too weak to stand after I suck you off in them. Hmm..I wonder…how quiet will you be able to be?”

“Victor!” Yuri shouted under his breath and went to grab the arm on his shoulder but it was already gone. Victor was standing in the aisle with a grin. He did look so good in those woolen khakis and fitted t-shirt. Yuri’s eyes follow the sculpted ass as it swayed toward the front of first class.

A clattering echoed through the cabin. Yuri’s feet tripped on the little lotions that fell from his seat as he bolted up. Was he really going to do this? Yes, he was definitely going to do this. He tried not to look in a hurry as his feet carried him to the last lavatory door marked, “Occupied” in red letters.

“Victor?” He whispered before knocking softly.

A familiar voice was barely audible. “Cost of entry?”

Yuri smiled and licked his lips. “Five hundred—cash.”

The door’s latch clicked to green. “Unoccupied.”

**Author's Note:**

> Check out Lilly's side story [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15886431/chapters/37019037)
> 
> Sign up for my newsletter at [seramaddingly.com](http://www.seramaddingly.com)


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